Black Relationships : falling out of love

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by legit-writer, Apr 6, 2012.

  1. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i keep hearing that if a person 'falls out of love' that they were never in love with them to begin with. for those who agree with this theory, why?for those who do not agree...why not?
     
  2. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    Well folks usually climb out of things they fall into.. Being as they never intended to be there in the first place.. Maybe they were pushed or slipped or just weren't looking where they were going.. But once they collect themselves they get up out of what they fell into and start back on their journey.
     
  3. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    so is that saying you believe that theory of if a person 'falls out of love' then they were never in love with that person in the first place or you do not believe it?
     
  4. Chevron Dove

    Chevron Dove Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think it all depends on how a person defines love. I think, in regards to a relationship between a man and a woman, love involves responsibility, giving, and some form of commitment that is difficult to do if a person is not mature and doesn't come to a realization that there is no such thing as a perfect lover or spouse at first sight. So I guess even if a relationship ends, that doesn't mean that love ends. You can still love a person, relate to them, and etc. but hate something that was done by that person and let them deal with their own behaviors.
     
  5. Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    To love and be loved is the final stage in an individual's development.

    "Love" is the completion of the individual.

    To 'fall out of love' implies that a completed being would willingly become incomplete. It's ludicrous.

    The thesis then is that one who 'falls out of love' wasn't in love. So to speak, one was incomplete and continued to be incomplete.
     
  6. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Love means you give a person a part of yourself. You let them in. And you in them. It is sometimes mistaken. But if it is true on both parties, it doesnt go away. In a sense, it is an addiction. You go thru widthdrawal. Now you may never want to do the drug again. But you are addicted forever



    ..
     
  7. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I have an issue with the terminology..."FALLING in love". What exactly does that mean? For me, to fall anywhere sends a message there's going to be some pain involved. I don't like thinking that way about someone that I have deep feelings for. Fall out denotes residue from something like a volcanic eruption or a meltdown of some sort at a nuclear plant. Again, not situations I'd like to be in. Where did these strange terms come from, to depict feelings?
     
  8. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Or it could just mean, to let go of your resitance






    ..
     
  9. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I thought that NNQueen was going to run with this based upon her opening...but I never liked the term "falling in love" either. Falling states that one is moving from a HIGHER STATE OR CONDITION INTO A LOWER STATE OR CONDITION. Therefore we should GROW in love as it is something that will happen in stages. Stage one may be the physical attraction. Stage two may be the mental or intellectual bonding. Stage three may be the cultural bonding or sameness in terms of what the two of you like and dislike. Stage three may be the spiritual connections that you two share. Stage four may be the sexual union that you two share. etc. etc.

    But the point is that it occurs in stages...growing stages, not falling stages. I meri you is what our ancestors in Kemet would have said. Love as we know it to be is a warped concept that came from the Christian era of time and is not a universal concept or word. Because people are ALWAYS GROWING AND CHANGING, ( which we all should be doing) it is possible for a person to grow out of love with someone else. In other words, if the two of you are not growing together in the same direction, then yes, you can grow out of love with someone. It doesn't mean that you never loved him or her, it just means that the two of you have grown in two separate directions that no longer serve as the glue or cement that first held the two of you together.

    Me and my second wife were like twins. We could be talking or doing something and we would find ourselves completing each others sentences or doing what we some how knew that the other would do. It was uncanny. We could in the midst of silence suddenly start talking and saying the same thing at the same time...but I digress here.
     
  10. Bootzey

    Bootzey Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Love is the greatest form of understanding. You neither fall in or out of it. When you know as much as you can about an individual, and choose to add on with them anyway. That's love. To choose to no longer add on with an individual means either you understand self's needs to no longer be met or you found out some new additional information that makes that relationship no longer feasible.

    It's all Mathematical.....
     
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