Had to bring this one out of the 'gold bag' and update it. There are sisters on many a job who are using the workplace to advertise their need for a bedmate. The brotherhood needs to wake up and realize they have a Queen at home...there IS no need to ROAM! FAIL BAIT Brothers, here is another column that I have pulled from the ‘gold file’, and revised as more and more readers have come to discover THE MANHOOD LINE. Over the last few years, men from various walks of public life had been cut down in their leadership prime because of Adultery on the job. I’m not going to name names because YOU already KNOW who some of the ‘big fish’ are. They can be as far away as the White House, or as near as the locker down the row in the factory, or at the house up the street. As I open this month’s column, I can’t help but to think about the hundreds of men--young and old--who have been pre-programmed to fail to become ‘men of quality’ because of our feminized society. The issue that sent my keyboard into motion: “Sexual Sin In The Workplace”. Of course, there are those of the PC crowd who call this matter: “The Workplace Affair”. Brothers, I might as well be blunt. You can’t get away with it. Don’t be fooled. Regardless of your color, station in life, or earning power, if you play around with someone’s wife, girlfriend, or daughter, YOU are going to PAY for it--regardless of how the press may spin it, and the entertainment industry tries to ‘justify’ Adulterous relationships. We ARE going to head for some deep water on this issue. The end hope is that someone’s marriage can be spared, and some brother’s reputation can be protected. In these last days, more and more folk are ‘settling’ workplace problems with firearms! Don’t YOU become a target because of your ‘antics’ in the office or shop! NOT ALL OF US ARE ‘DOGS’: Now, there ARE some sisters out on our jobs who have set their sights on US! The ‘Office Hottie’ is licking her lips, and sizing YOU up for a potential ‘fling’. Let me share with you some words of wisdom from Pastor John Hagee: “It’s the blast that DON’T last!” Pastor E.V. Hill, one of my preaching heroes, makes it even plainer for man-to-man consumption: “Brothers, YOU have to keep control…of YOUR pants!” In short, both pastors are saying: “The man who cannot control himself in sexual matters, and is NOT loyal to his wedding vows and his wife, is a man who cannot be trusted with more responsibility. If YOU can’t control yourself in YOUR pants, you cannot be trusted to run a business, corporation, school district, or country.” From the street, I’ll make it short and sweet. Just because there are ‘Doggettes’ on the prowl, YOU don’t have to ACT like a DOG! AN INTERESTING STUDY--ON THE JOB CONDUCT: Over the course of time, more than one study has found that some of the common factors of workplace adultery can be traced to the ‘availability’ of the participants. Not beauty. Not money. Not good looks. Availability is the common thread that will ‘web up’ an otherwise sober-thinking brother. The woman ‘giving you the eye’ on the job is not prettier than your wife: SHE is just more available. Now, I realize that in many offices and shops, it is common for some to engage in flirtatious behavior. As a matter-of-fact, in one business publication, there are some experts who have gone on to say that a whole separate family tree may exist in many ‘cubicle communities’. For example…some workers are so close, and have worked together for so long that they are regarded as ‘Office Husbands and Wives’. Meaning, if you SEE one, you will LIKELY see the other. At lunch. On breaks. Even after hours or on the road. When ONE is sick, the OTHER is ready with the soup and get-well card. A fitting question for the brotherhood: “WHY settle for hamburger on the job, when you have a QUEEN waiting for you at home?” Brothers, we have to WATCH carrying things TOO FAR! Men are stimulated by appearance, and women are stimulated by words. Two people, of the opposite sex, can ‘accidentally’ turn on the wrong switches and push the wrong buttons. Pretty soon, a ROARING fire is going and their houses--and jobs--have gone up in the blaze. Listening to someone’s relationship problems--YES! Becoming a source of someone’s relationship problems--NO! Now, YOU know your own ‘stimulation level’. I can’t speak for you. But I can advise you. Here are a few tips that will save you from ending up on the copying room floor--and OUT the door, and on your way to divorce court. LUST is not LOVE with a different spelling! RULE NUMBER ONE: BRAG ABOUT YOUR WIFE! The quickest way to stop any ‘mess’ on the job is to BRAG on your wife at every possible opportunity! Lift her up, and make her KNOWN! No, I don’t mean what you DO at home--OR in bed! The fact that you have a QUEEN in your castle when you do get home SHOULD CAUSE MANY to ‘think twice’! Brothers: SOME of us ‘drift’ over to the wrong side of the thought process simply because of our SILENCE! IF you are married, there is NO REASON that your co-workers (especially FEMALE co-workers) should not be told this UP FRONT! First, it sets a good example. Second, it gives others the opportunity to check their own marriages. Third, it gives single co-workers hope that at least ONE person on their job is remaining true to their wife! I LIKE being married, and don’t CARE who knows about Mrs. Ramey! If the truth were told, brothers, some of us would not have the blessings that we do have WITHOUT our wives! Make sure that you talk her UP! Encourage her to visit your office when you KNOW that you will be there. She needs to introduce herself, and check things out. She could warn you as to future dangers ON the job, if SHE gives it the ‘once over’. (If you have a two-career marriage, make it a point to drop by HER office or job every once in a while. It will let the ‘Office Wolves’ know that there is a WOLF KILLER at home in her Castle!) RULE NUMBER TWO: WEAR YOUR WEDDING BAND! The next point is going to upset a lot of preachers and pastors that I know, but I am heading straight down the fairway on this shot. WEAR YOUR WEDDING BAND! Nothing ADDS to confusion more than married men who don’t wear the hardware! Get the biggest, baddest, and brightest band that you can, and keep it on, and keep it visible. There is NO shame in being married. As a matter of fact, in light of some of the antics among the single men I have known over the years, they never quite seem to make it to maturity because of their NOT getting married. One can only ‘play the field’ for so long, before it is time to come in from playing and commit to ONE woman! RULE NUMBER THREE: DON’T SHOP AND TOUCH! This goes back to what I was saying before about flirting in the office. We all know our ‘saturation’ level, and our ‘stimulation’ level. Brothers, marriage may not be for everyone, but I notice that the Bible has more to say to the married man than to the single man! A point made VERY clear in several places. Brothers, I’ll make it plain. IF she is NOT your woman, keep your hands (and everything else) to yourself, period. Don’t try to ‘squeeze’ the Charmin, under ANY circumstances! RULE NUMBER FOUR: RUN! Joseph ran…and gained an empire. David failed to run…and paid a HEAVY price. We remember BOTH men, because of the lessons they learned when confronted by ‘Real Life 101’. There are some situations that we need to walk away from, and some situations we, as men, need to run away from--with all deliberate speed! Brothers, if you remember your basic Biology, there are certain times of the month when a woman goes through her ‘cycle’. As a part of those times is a process called ‘ovulation’, whereby a woman will be MORE ready for ANY man--whether he is the RIGHT one or NOT! IF you notice the ‘air’ getting a little thin around certain women, during certain times of the month, head for the door and don’t look back. Eventually she WILL come back to her senses. DON’T you lose your sense, when others around you are losing theirs! These are merely a few suggestions. If you want to avoid being labeled as FAIL BAIT on the Six O’clock News, save your passion for home, and your sweat for the job. And NEVER confuse the two! MIKE RAMEY is the author of THE MANHOOD LINE. A syndicated, monthly column written for men from a biblical, business, and common sense perspective. Emails welcome to [email protected]. ©2002 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications International (2).