Poetry Critiques : Ex Whore Cyst Ex Whore Sized With Pen

Nahshon

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Sep 20, 2001
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Nahshon.Swanston
I started writing because I was too fearful to speak words
Words were sacred to me
thought if written then read, I could really be heard.
I tell you I’ve had a lot on my mind and It’s kind of scary to me
I know that I am not paranoid
Just understand what people do sometimes to fill the void
in there life
and the things they have gone through
I was once a liar and thief, till I was schooled
I am just an L7 to all those that know
Me on my block and up the street
Said I was a once thief,
Yet what I stole was a piece of my soul
Which I sold just to eat
I don’t want to become like what the streets and women push me to be.
Don’t want to pimp that’s not the life for me,
it would rip my heart, to put a woman out there and live off the earnings of her back.
Don’t need to sell drugs, that get hearts pumped up for fatal attacks.
****’s mad shifty in here. I need a clean hustle
Stamped self approved of my own.
37 years old and there’s **** I want to own.
This life is too short and I’m fully grown.
So right now I am just hatching up plans all alone.
I used to tell lies to make others search for the truth.
Though this was not the way I was brought up from youth.
The truth is I am tired of the lies.
Lies kill you in the streets.
Straight truth
In front you’ll see
Crips & Bloods, chalk lines & blood with shells on the streets
and the shells I am talking 'bout aren’t found on the beach…
Straight Truth
They rep with signs, representing their hoods
Street codes been round since slaves been in backwoods
Hiding from Massa cause freedom looks so good.
Freedom is all a brother’s looking for.
Make the kind of money where I can lay down the law
Spirit robbed enough ways to know, how not to get ripped off.
Self education through fire
No longer my desire.
See I was naïve walking round these streets
And wound up having young Crips looking out for me.
Yet I see and know what they’re into
I peeped there game mad quickly too.
So I put out wild **** for them to think about
Am I crazy, sane or do I have a little clout.
I am not scared, just sorry it’s in this house.
I know this isn't my life, I know I have to get out…
So I am just sitting back making master plans
Have to get out of here as fast as I can
That’s the one thing I know.
I got to get on my hustle and flow
Make enough loot to live like a king abroad or maybe here
But it wouldn’t be fair
to think I’d sell another piece of my soul just to get paid…
cause I sold a piece of it to a woman I once laid
and been paying for it ever since
Which brings me pain
And sometimes I just want to **** the pain
**** the pain
**** the pain away.
Find a sister that can handle me when I slay,
and lay with tongue,
verbal lashings, oral baptisms
Beating her mind with words
thrashing clits with lips and thumbs
till she knows I am not the one to be slept on.
No time for lies
Lies are a continuing inner suicide
Need to find a release
for all that’s pent up inside
so tired of just getting by
to getting by
till I die
Singing homeless man blues.
Let me tell you, it isn’t easy being a homeless man
lord have mercy it’s not easy being a homeless man
When I swear on my life I'll never be there again
There’s always someone out there that quotes to me "What ifs"
What if??? What if?????
What if?
Birds swam the seas
fish flew the skies
aromatherapy might be the new means of getting high
What if?
Life were the disease
that death cures
and at deaths door all questions ever asked
were completely answered for once and ever more.
So much that your brain can’t take the strain
So you welcome physical death
And embrace spiritual life
See living life is 4:20, AM or PM
Listening to songbirds cry
Getting in touch with Jah with a Ganja high
Eating strawberries and grapes with the right woman by my side
Releasing the depths of my soul
upon sanctified spaces of her inner thigh.
I can’t lie
I want this woman so much
Makes me curious would she give a gentle or a rough touch
Til my muscles are sore
Me the Ex Whore
The Ex Whore
Ex Whore Cyst
layers upon layers of dead skin
trying to hide the scars of where a demon once slipped in
this frame
fattened this body making me seem lame
But check out this Ex Whore Size
Once I weighed in at 2-8-5
Now I’ve lost 4 pants sizes
I feel good about who I am and about life…
I’m not going to let life stress me out.
Life, that’s just what I am trying to live and give.
Once came across a man who told me, he knew who I was,
Even if I didn’t.
So I decided to play mental chess with him and found out he was a master of the game.
So I found myself mental martial arts student studying chess as a game
to size up those I choose to give me to.
Borderline manic depressive is not my truth
But my doctor said I can’t keep holding things inside
Stop thinking about the things I can’t control and just write
Live each day of your life, as if it were the last.
Live life the best you can, stop putting the future behind your past
Feel real life inside as a real man without lies
no reasons for tears to drown a mind
put it all behind you and write…
put it all behind you and write…
So I write…
Writing Ex Whore Cyst Ex Whore Sizes
Speaking the truth of what I see outside of me
not to mention I’m back to representing South-Side Queens,
the home of my youth.
Took till I was 37 to see so much truth
‘bout how things really go down on the boulevard
That’s why when strangers walk down the streets they look hard
They’re not trying to get stuck
By a crack head, or gang member just trying to move up
the ladder of life
without giving a ****
who it hurts,
just so they can enjoy their devilish ways
But Jah has been protecting me till today
Opened my eyes and helped save
My very soul…
I know there are still things out there that I don’t know…
Yet I needn't know everything.
Just need enough knowledge,
Not just how I should be living but also where.
But till I’ve stacked enough so that I can move out here, I’m going to play that L7 game,
let those hustlers and pimps and whores know that I am not playing
I am a real man with a child
that I have been separated from, for far to long
Not trying to live my life wild
not trying to live my life wrong
just attempting to live mild and strong
live mild and strong
And the writing goes on…
With My pen
My pen is multi-colored arrow-shaped
double ink cartridge
- self guidance system equipped
stealth capable
silver tipped pen
Specially designed to seek and find
concealed vampiristic demons
that gluttonously feed
Upon souls blood deep within
It’s my ultimate weapon
stronger than bullets, missiles, and swords of any kind
Has the power to inflict harm
And the power to give piece of mind
See sticks and stones break bones
But words can break spirits the backbone of life
forged within earths heart
And the ink in my pen
is from an ancient brew
combined from universal elements
With salivary secretions of Angelic messages
These powerful tools
aren’t just any old writing instruments
Transforming written words into spoken words as incantations
Used by this skillful wordsmith
Rooting out evils and encourage weakened hearts throughout a nation.
So I no longer deal with what ifs
I deal with what is real here and now
I am the Ex Whore Cyst now Ex Whore Sized
With a mighty pen with which to write
And heal the pangs inside
And I do this with Jah by my side.
With Jah by my side.
With Jah by my side.

Nahshon-Rae 6/05/2006
 

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