Poetry Critiques : Eggs & Honey

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by arthur1210, Dec 1, 2006.

  1. arthur1210

    arthur1210 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I told her she could come over
    She asks if she could spend the night
    She says she is feeling lonely
    She needed me to make it right
    Diggin' the way she wore her jeans
    How, in right places they were tight
    She looked as good as some chocolate cake
    And she was offering me a bite

    Her smile, it is bright & amazing
    Each time I see it I’m dazzled & drawn
    Her voice is always soft like velvet
    Every sentence always sound like song
    Always wondered how she can be 5' 3
    And still have those legs that look long
    Finally, she was ready for a little “Bump & Grind”
    And I know, “I didn’t see nothin’ wrong”

    She told me how bad she wanted it
    She said she wanted no mercy
    Saying she’d be like my ice water
    Because I seem to be so d*mn thirsty
    I prepared to take a breathtaking ride
    On her body that’s marvelously curvy
    We both came in so fresh & so clean
    But, we were both ready to get so dirty

    Then, I showed no fear when touching
    No, I was not afraid to squeeze
    I wasn't afraid to look down into her eyes
    When she's in front of me on her knees
    Then, I stuck it right in her ignition
    I heard her roar when I turned the keys
    And, then we made some eggs & honey
    Come all out those birds & bees
     
  2. 4EVERLUV

    4EVERLUV Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    arthur:
    Surely you did not mean to post this here.
    Critique for what????
    This was HOTT, SEXY and FUN!!!!
    I never would have thought about
    Eggs & Honey together lol
    I say ....Move it to the Poetry Forum
    where it belongs:)

    Much Luv
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    nedds no work don't touch a thang this joint was going on ! TYTEEEEE!
     
  4. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    arthur1210

    I would say talk that talk Money...but that's me. :D

    This is tight, bruh. A lil walk on the ish talk side but I dig da flow.

    Nice scribe, poet.

    :toast:
     
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