Black Relationships : Educated Black women

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by river, Dec 14, 2006.

  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2004
    Messages:
    6,458
    Likes Received:
    1,282
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Author
    Location:
    Where the Niger meets the Nile
    Ratings:
    +1,290
    spinning off sista Beauty's thread in the sista's forum, Id like to hear from you brothas, what is your opinion of educated Black women.

    How can an EBW be proud of what she has accomplished while at the same time understanding the racism that keep;s so many brothas from accomplishing the same thing?

    How can an unEBM have a healthy relationship with an EBW and maintain his sense of manhood?

    and finally

    How can the Black community continue to keep education as a high priority without destroying the self esteem of those who can't afford it or have been put in the vocational/prison track by the public school system?
     
  2. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2001
    Messages:
    20,932
    Likes Received:
    5,243
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Chemist
    Location:
    Detroit
    Ratings:
    +6,122
    Good Topic


    For the record, I have only dated EBW since I entered college. Some of you think your education is part of your personality. It isnt. Some of you have allowed the sheep skin to validate a whole lot of stupidity. Even with each other
     
  3. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2002
    Messages:
    3,299
    Likes Received:
    182
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Economist
    Location:
    Detroit, MI
    Home Page:
    Ratings:
    +236
    In my opinion, through her education, she can see how the less fortunate...more times than not her own people...are treated unjustly by those in her profession. The attitudes displayed by her professors and peers against those who are less fortunate should propel her into working hard for those individuals so that her peers will not take advantage of them. In my profession (economics), I use my knowledge to help my people avoid the traps that are placed in front of them by others in my profession. Thurgood Marshall did the same. Johnnie Cochran did the same. No matter what your profession is...doctor, lawyer, physical therapist, social worker, mechanic...use it to turn the tables on those who use it to harm others. She should do the same.

    She can help the brothas in accomplishing their goals by working with them...teaching them...showing them the tricks of the trade. If he is not in her profession, then she can be there to support him, not to belittle him but to inspire him to fight harder, to study longer, to run faster. That is how she can best help him. But, she should never do it for him.

    An unEBM can have a healthy relationship with his EBW by respecting her for who she is to him and for what she can help him to accomplish. He should love her for her...and not be competitive with her nor be jealous or envious of her. He should support her and handle his business. He might not do it in a fancy way but he gets the job done.



    Everyone in the Black community...college educated or not...must understand that everyone has a niche...everyone has a place in society. If everyone plays their part and RESPECTS everyone else, then no one will be demeaned in any way.

    Vocational training is not necessarily a bad thing. There are some professions where higher education is not required in order to make a decent living. A medical degree is great for saving lives in a hospital. But, it won't help you rebuild an engine in a car. Everyone has a place in society. Choose your niche...choose your place.

    Peace
     
  4. robboy2003

    robboy2003 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2006
    Messages:
    330
    Likes Received:
    5
    Occupation:
    To bring strength and a calming influence,and to s
    Location:
    The Ville
    Ratings:
    +5
    That is pretty much summing up how i feel. I love the fact that my lady is educated,but what i love more about her is her emotional developement,and she seems to have a balance ,when it comes to it and her spirituality,and physicality.
     
  5. mrron

    mrron Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    317
    Likes Received:
    5
    Ratings:
    +5
    It's been my experience that a lot of EBW have reconciled themselves to this situation where there are twice as many of them in the market place, as there are EBM. So many of them have lower expectations when it comes to finding a man. Many are just looking for good character and some earning potential, not parity in the education sense.

    Things are getting worse for the black male, I recently learned that in Wilmington, Del., a city I live near, the dropout rate for black males is sixty five percent. The city government is basically run by blacks, but the males are not motivated to finish school. Once the Mayor offered to pay students to stay in school and to bring up their grades.

    I don't think the EBW like their options, but if they have to chose between and unEBM and a white man, they will chose a white man only if he is educated. Most of the EBW I know are single and looking. They will often settle for a man who is old enough to be their father, in order to avoid being alone

    I think that regardless of their lack of choices in the romance arena, they remain proud of their accomplishments, and understand that the black man has to rise again.
     
  6. Bismi

    Bismi New Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2007
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    Peace!
    I don't mind a sister getting an education and going as far as she can get in this system. However, what I do mind that in the process of her obtaining her goals in life she displays a total disregard for the Blackman (who is the foundation of the family), because she has been exposed to the sterotypical thought of the european. The Black woman regrads of her accomplisments in life, should at all times recognize the Blackman as being the foundation of all things in existence. But as a people we must real-eyes that how the Black woman portrays herself becomes the ramifications of wiliie lynch; not with the Blackman whom she is trying to maining a relationship with based upon the realities of love peace and happiness, but with the Black male child who she sub-consciously misuses because of the abuse that she as the Black woman historically had to deal with. A black woman getting an education should not mean that you should belitte the Blackman's intelligence. It does not mean that you must strive indirectly to snatch what semblence of manhood he hsa away. Today this constantly happening, because are constantly perpetuated on the Black woman in regards to her education, and not needing the foundation Blackman) to stabilze the Black family. Henceforth, to understand the implication of what is constantly taking place, we; both man and woman must understand how these stumbling blocks were placed in front to keep dsyfunction at a high level.In conclusion, both the Blackman; and especially the Black woman must begin to understand the realities of unity and supreme equality, and thiugh they may present themselves from different demensions, they are of the same reality; however to do this our love for one another must catapult itself beyond conditions.
     
  7. OmowaleX

    OmowaleX Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2002
    Messages:
    2,414
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Educator
    Location:
    Aztlan
    Ratings:
    +42


    I think that a truly EDUCATED BLACK WOMAN posesses "self-knowledge" anf this knowledge includes how white supremacy operates, and from an experiential basis she works for the collective empowerment and Liberation of ALL Black people.

    I dont think it is possible for an un_Educated Black man to have a healthy relationship with anyone because he lacks true Self-Knowledge. This self-knowledge is what affirms "Black Manhood".

    I think that the Black community needs to MAKE self-knowledge (education) a priority and this education instills and reinforces cultural values which build upon one's character and self-esteem.

    This is the importance of mentoring programs and home schooling which must be geared towards breaking the fail cycle and subsequently high drop-out rates which tend to result in high incarceration rates for at-risk youth with poor vocational and job orientation skills. This is an essential necessity for youth mentorship, to provide qualitative career orientation.
     
  8. anAfrican

    anAfrican Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2005
    Messages:
    3,484
    Likes Received:
    711
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    The Meek !Shall! Inherit the Earth.
    Location:
    StreetNationEarth: Seattle
    Ratings:
    +745
    Hello, and Welcome to the Family, Bismi.

    As I read through your piece, the first thing that jumped out at me is that the Foundation of the Black Family is the Black PARENTS, preferrably mom AND dad. If such a divisive "distinction" must be made, I would offer the suggestion that one is the cement that binds, and one is the gravel that gives strength.

    When I got back to reading (i had to get up for something), I got to the point where I was ... well, it would be more polite not to say. I will say, though, that I do agree with:
    Hello! :wave:

     
  9. anAfrican

    anAfrican Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2005
    Messages:
    3,484
    Likes Received:
    711
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    The Meek !Shall! Inherit the Earth.
    Location:
    StreetNationEarth: Seattle
    Ratings:
    +745
    there is a price attached to the intelligence that drives the quest to become "educated": Dealing with each and every one of these issues. No, it is not only the "EBW" that has this responsibilty; it is the responsibility of All "educated" people .. (hey river; as i started this, the song was ohio players's fire! followed up by flashlight! :lol: )

    And as has been said; the "uneducated" are gonna have problems with all relationships beginning with their relationship with themselves.

     
  10. Joyce

    Joyce Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 23, 2001
    Messages:
    2,715
    Likes Received:
    56
    Occupation:
    people
    Location:
    Florida
    Ratings:
    +56
    Well...all I got is a high school education. No wonder I had my share of black men to date. None of them were intimidated by me.:dance: Then when James married me...I came out of the bag on him and he came to the realization that you don't have to have a degree to be intelligent and that intelligence is nothing to be intimidated by...even if it is reeking from the presence of a black woman.:couple:
     
Loading...