Black Relationships : Educated Black women

river

Watch Her Flow
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Mar 22, 2004
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spinning off sista Beauty's thread in the sista's forum, Id like to hear from you brothas, what is your opinion of educated Black women.

How can an EBW be proud of what she has accomplished while at the same time understanding the racism that keep;s so many brothas from accomplishing the same thing?

How can an unEBM have a healthy relationship with an EBW and maintain his sense of manhood?

and finally

How can the Black community continue to keep education as a high priority without destroying the self esteem of those who can't afford it or have been put in the vocational/prison track by the public school system?
 
Good Topic

river said:
spinning off sista Beauty's thread in the sista's forum, Id like to hear from you brothas, what is your opinion of educated Black women.

How can an EBW be proud of what she has accomplished while at the same time understanding the racism that keep;s so many brothas from accomplishing the same thing?By realizing that they use the EBW against the race. And maybe too many buy into it. By realizing once you reach a certain level, you are allowed to mentor males as well. ( I have female friends that wont and then complain that there are no men on their level for them to date ). Push your male children hard to get educated!!!!!!

How can an unEBM have a healthy relationship with an EBW and maintain his sense of manhood? The EBW must realize that her education doesnt make her better than the unEBM or the EBM for that matter

and finally

How can the Black community continue to keep education as a high priority without destroying the self esteem of those who can't afford it or have been put in the vocational/prison track by the public school system? Sister, we have never been able to afford an education. Yet we acheived anyway. The merit scholarship doesnt recognize race. On this, Cosby is right.
But we cant get into this without dealing honestly with the state of the black family today. That is for another topic


For the record, I have only dated EBW since I entered college. Some of you think your education is part of your personality. It isnt. Some of you have allowed the sheep skin to validate a whole lot of stupidity. Even with each other
 
river said:
1. How can an EBW be proud of what she has accomplished while at the same time understanding the racism that keeps so many brothas from accomplishing the same thing?

In my opinion, through her education, she can see how the less fortunate...more times than not her own people...are treated unjustly by those in her profession. The attitudes displayed by her professors and peers against those who are less fortunate should propel her into working hard for those individuals so that her peers will not take advantage of them. In my profession (economics), I use my knowledge to help my people avoid the traps that are placed in front of them by others in my profession. Thurgood Marshall did the same. Johnnie Cochran did the same. No matter what your profession is...doctor, lawyer, physical therapist, social worker, mechanic...use it to turn the tables on those who use it to harm others. She should do the same.

She can help the brothas in accomplishing their goals by working with them...teaching them...showing them the tricks of the trade. If he is not in her profession, then she can be there to support him, not to belittle him but to inspire him to fight harder, to study longer, to run faster. That is how she can best help him. But, she should never do it for him.

river said:
2. How can an unEBM have a healthy relationship with an EBW and maintain his sense of manhood?

An unEBM can have a healthy relationship with his EBW by respecting her for who she is to him and for what she can help him to accomplish. He should love her for her...and not be competitive with her nor be jealous or envious of her. He should support her and handle his business. He might not do it in a fancy way but he gets the job done.



river said:
3. How can the Black community continue to keep education as a high priority without destroying the self esteem of those who can't afford it or have been put in the vocational/prison track by the public school system?

Everyone in the Black community...college educated or not...must understand that everyone has a niche...everyone has a place in society. If everyone plays their part and RESPECTS everyone else, then no one will be demeaned in any way.

Vocational training is not necessarily a bad thing. There are some professions where higher education is not required in order to make a decent living. A medical degree is great for saving lives in a hospital. But, it won't help you rebuild an engine in a car. Everyone has a place in society. Choose your niche...choose your place.

Peace
 
Monetary said:
In my opinion, through her education, she can see how the less fortunate...more times than not her own people...are treated unjustly by those in her profession. The attitudes displayed by her professors and peers against those who are less fortunate should propel her into working hard for those individuals so that her peers will not take advantage of them. In my profession (economics), I use my knowledge to help my people avoid the traps that are placed in front of them by others in my profession. Thurgood Marshall did the same. Johnnie Cochran did the same. No matter what your profession is...doctor, lawyer, physical therapist, social worker, mechanic...use it to turn the tables on those who use it to harm others. She should do the same.

She can help the brothas in accomplishing their goals by working with them...teaching them...showing them the tricks of the trade. If he is not in her profession, then she can be there to support him, not to belittle him but to inspire him to fight harder, to study longer, to run faster. That is how she can best help him. But, she should never do it for him.



An unEBM can have a healthy relationship with his EBW by respecting her for who she is to him and for what she can help him to accomplish. He should love her for her...and not be competitive with her nor be jealous or envious of her. He should support her and handle his business. He might not do it in a fancy way but he gets the job done.





Everyone in the Black community...college educated or not...must understand that everyone has a niche...everyone has a place in society. If everyone plays their part and RESPECTS everyone else, then no one will be demeaned in any way.

Vocational training is not necessarily a bad thing. There are some professions where higher education is not required in order to make a decent living. A medical degree is great for saving lives in a hospital. But, it won't help you rebuild an engine in a car. Everyone has a place in society. Choose your niche...choose your place.

Peace
That is pretty much summing up how i feel. I love the fact that my lady is educated,but what i love more about her is her emotional developement,and she seems to have a balance ,when it comes to it and her spirituality,and physicality.
 
It's been my experience that a lot of EBW have reconciled themselves to this situation where there are twice as many of them in the market place, as there are EBM. So many of them have lower expectations when it comes to finding a man. Many are just looking for good character and some earning potential, not parity in the education sense.

Things are getting worse for the black male, I recently learned that in Wilmington, Del., a city I live near, the dropout rate for black males is sixty five percent. The city government is basically run by blacks, but the males are not motivated to finish school. Once the Mayor offered to pay students to stay in school and to bring up their grades.

I don't think the EBW like their options, but if they have to chose between and unEBM and a white man, they will chose a white man only if he is educated. Most of the EBW I know are single and looking. They will often settle for a man who is old enough to be their father, in order to avoid being alone

I think that regardless of their lack of choices in the romance arena, they remain proud of their accomplishments, and understand that the black man has to rise again.
 

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