Black Poetry : driftwood...

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by IfUComeSoftly, May 24, 2006.

  1. IfUComeSoftly

    IfUComeSoftly Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Weathered by the elements his beauty is unspeakable
    those rugged planes of character endured the blues of living
    Hollowed and withered by the sands of time
    Appearing to be light as the breeze just as it is
    When the current breaks the shore
    There you sit peacefully, quietly, thinking
    About everything or maybe nothing at all…

    How foolish of me to think you knew no strength
    Son of sea, you were created
    In the womb of the ocean and
    Carried away parts of her that are now
    Permanently etched in your body
    And ingrained in your psyche… you
    Son of sea know no weakness

    While others searched for all the pretty things
    Misguided and naive I took you home with me
    My beloved, how distinguished you were
    I admired your unique antique qualities
    The complexities of your simplistic circular variations
    Your voice melodic and charming to the ear
    Speaking the love of Gibran

    Love, you say he says, gives naught but to itself.

    I say, “Smh.” But reluctantly I agreed
    Better yet… YOU agreed to just be in the moment
    And while I waited... I polished you
    Took great care to preserve your essence
    Soon the current of circumstance carried you
    From my admiration to my heart to my bed
    There you lay with me every night

    When your abrasiveness rubbed me raw
    I dismissed it as exfoliation
    When your splinters punctured my skin
    I claimed it as growing pains
    So ingrained in my genetic makeup that I
    Became more Georgia pine than Georgia peach
    You invaded my body, took my strength

    You decided my body was your ebb
    Your positive pulse of pleasure that
    Carried me into inexistence, discarding me
    As just another piece of driftwood
    Sitting in the same place as where I found you
    Consistently withered and worn from the tide
    Drifting like all the other wood; nothing separates us.

    We’re all the same: ugly and uniform, dull and denied
    Waiting in vain for someone to see us, see me, the way I saw you
     
  2. abstract219

    abstract219 ...standing on the shoulders of giants MEMBER

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    nooooo...softly, tell me it doesn't end like that...LOL...this is a phenomenal piece...i just love the seriousness, the descriptive terms, the depth and the maturity you use....you painted a clear and concise picture of a love gone wrong....

    "Carried me into inexistence, discarding me
    As just another piece of driftwood
    Sitting in the same place as where I found you
    Consistently withered and worn from the tide
    Drifting like all the other wood; nothing separates us"

    Your visuals here are so vivid...I can just feel it with you....
    Again, a mature, seasoned write by a seasoned writer....Im really feelin this one.
     
  3. IfUComeSoftly

    IfUComeSoftly Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    poet i am humbled by your praise... greatly appreciate the love
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    this was express wit the depth of deepness flow on
     
  5. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This was painfully beautiful. And I say that because we all so want to be seen by at least one special person, just as we are, and loved solely for that. How can a soul shared as such, be so easily discarded? The imagery of nature painted here was stunning. Wow...
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    still feeling the aftermath of da driftwood
     
  7. IfUComeSoftly

    IfUComeSoftly Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    awww... thank you all so much for the love...
     
  8. abstract219

    abstract219 ...standing on the shoulders of giants MEMBER

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    im sorry,,this is just one write I keep comin back to.....it shows a discriminating skill...
     
  9. IfUComeSoftly

    IfUComeSoftly Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    mmmhhhhhh

    :thinking: :thinking: :thinking: :thinking: :thinking: :thinking: :thinking: i should keep what i'm :thinking: :thinking: :thinking: :thinking: to myself.... :book: