Black Poetry : Dream Son

Jelani_Dalmar

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Nov 2, 2003
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South Jersey
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USAF
Dream Son

Life father like son…something every man yearns to hear…Just the thought of the idea glosses my eyes…and fills them with tears.
Look at my lil man…happily bouncing up on my knee…I stare into those big brown eyes…knowing one day he will grow up to be like me.
We play catch in the back yard…and stickball in the park…our father and son bond is so strong, there is nothing in the world that could tear us apart.

I’m there at every game or event never late…cause I’m his number 1 fan…I would die trying before I’d ever think of disappointing daddy’s lil man…
This past February we celebrated his 5th birthday and all of his friends were there…As I watched him make a wish and blow out the candles…once again my eyes filled with tears…

See….it’s so strange to me why I can’t hold back my emotions for my lil man, it’s just something I can’t begin to grasp…It’s…as if there’s something strange about this moment we share…as if it will never ever last…

But I choose to ignore these feelings so as me and my lil man can just have some fun…After all every man should cherish the time that is shared between a father and his son.

One on One is our favorite he scores…I score…but he laughs telling me it was luck…As we go to give one another high five…that’s when I wake up….

As my head bounces from the pillow and I look around thinking…this can’t be what it seems…As I drop my head into my hands…I have to come to reality, that this was all just a dream…
You see February 6th 1998 I had to listen to the “other” words a father never ever yearns to hear not one lil bit…The doctor carefully sat me down and said to me…dad your son isn’t going to make it.

At that moment I became death and blind and my body felt numb.... How could he tell me this…how could he tell me I’m about to lose my son…
I walked into the icy room to comfort my wife…but we both knew it was more to come…I held her hand as the doctor said…push a lil more sweetie and in a few minutes she was done…done giving birth to my stillborn son…

I held him in my arms looking down on his beautiful face then holding him up so mom could see…But from that moment on I knew when he died…a lil part died in me…

He’s in a better place now I’m sure…well at least that’s what it seems…But I still get to play with my lil man…I play with him in my dreams[/CENTER]
 

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