Black Relationships : double standard

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by BallOfConfusion, Jul 8, 2007.

  1. BallOfConfusion

    BallOfConfusion Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    man I'm sick of this double standard ****! why is it okay and expected for a man to got after what he wants but if a women does it she'd desperate. Some even go as far as labeling her a stalker. Is it okay for a women to chase after a man she really has feelings for - guys do it. I know it's a big thing, "guys like to chase". I play along with that role to and it doesnt get me anywhere. How do guys feel when a women is more forward?
     
  2. LadyLC

    LadyLC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    IMO women are to be sought after not the main one seeking first. Of course we are in the world so the roles can and do often get reversed. I won't go as far as to say that women that seek first are desperate, they are just operating out of the natural order of the way things are supposed to be.............. :)
     
  3. hiphopolx

    hiphopolx Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Peace Sister

    You have to think of men as beings just like women in the regards of each having their own perspective in life. By asking 'How do guys feel when a women is more forward' shows you have to step back and view that person who holds your interests as a divine being such as your self. Just as every woman doesn't think like this 'IMO women are to be sought after not the main one seeking first' lol Every man doesn't like to 'chase' So you have to figure out what he likes. (I personally would't mind at all to be the prey to some sexy hunttress out to find "THE STAFF OF GOD" I'd probably wouldn't give her too much of a challange but oh well :qqb013: ) nuff bout me As far as 'I'm sick of this double standard ****!' Good!!! that in its self shows you think outside the box and are ready to expand the parameters around your thinking. And about that role you play of 'getting chased' Right now in my perspective that role doesn't work for most other women either. I say that based on what I hear about the 'all the good ones being taken' , who do you think is taking them ? And on the other side of life, the woman playing the chasing game get played I mean preyed on by the 'dogs' This is not all cases but...... (I'll say this, some guys make chasing woman an art form and they don't take pride in getting any woman they want good ones so anybody reading this be mindful of being swept off your feet.)

    Think about how you want to be treated and start from there but do consider he is probably affected by society about what his role is as a man the same as the pressure you feel as a woman it's up to you to find out how affected he is.

    happy hunting
    :em2300:
     
  4. hiphopolx

    hiphopolx Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If nothing else wrks but you still think he is worth it, you may have to ...........
    Only as a last option..............

    really think the whole thing thru of what I'm about to say .............

    and this is just som'em I heard..........

    and make sure no one else is around when you do this..............

    ok here goes.............

    sneak up behind him and hit him over the head with a 40 ounce

    lug him home but explain to him in a nice and very intelligent way that you only did it for his own good

    make sure you unplug all your phones and just hold on to his cell phone when you explain

    :qqb015:
     
  5. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Dear BoC

    :teach: There is nothing wrong with a woman going after what she wants. However, being female, it is generally not expected for you to use similar tactics as a man. I have long been an advocate, that females cant leave mating to chance. One only has to look and see the state of the black family to know that. ALL women should:

    1. Know themselves. Meaning, know who you are and what you really want out of life. Dont go looking for him unless you are serious. Men know not to fall in love with fun girl. Many of you dont know that about fun guy.

    2. Approach getting a suitable mate the same way they do their careers, education, a/o shopping. Determining where the kind of guys(s) you want, hang out socially, is the key.

    3. Being the kind of woman the guy you want is just as important. You are not going to get a champaigne guy, if you are a Miller High Life woman! He is NOT going to step down to you, unless it's just for fun. And if you are serious, you dont want to be fun girl!!!! A guy will seldom, if ever, take fun girl home to meet mom. Fun girl = F. B.

    4. It's not about YOU. It's about US!!!!! If both of you dont realize that, it's time to leave

    If girl just wants to have fun, have fun. :dance1: But dont fall in love
    :teach: Lesson ended
     
  6. hiphopolx

    hiphopolx Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You are making shallow generalzations 'Men know not to fall in love with fun girl. Many of you dont know that about fun guy' I don't even think this applies to most men, but even so It certianly isn't all men. How old is the guy in question, what type of personality does he mostly live thru, If he is well off, single, home owner and just wants someone to make him happy particulaly from a stressful days wrk why wouldn't he want a fun girl to come home to and bring an important balance in his life? And this not to say he has to be well off, single, or a home owner? She wants some insight, so making sweeping generalzations does not provide good insight it often gives a person a misguided outlook which in turn leads to bad accessments kinda like someone from another race saying 'Why do black people................? This also applies to our women as well if she had a stressful day........ no generalzations we all are divine beings looking thru life from our unique perspectives the different bodies male, female big tall etc futhers this diversity. Sorry for the bluntness and I do know my perspective is not popular but I try and tune in thru the wisdom thats in all of us. And this keeps me be at peace more so than most.

    :peace:
     
  7. BallOfConfusion

    BallOfConfusion Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm not no "fun girl" well im fun....but they way your wording "fun girl" seem like another word for ****. Thats not me at all. I'm just like a mellow shy girl & I really like this guy and I dont know....well I guess I'm kinda scared to tell him. Cus I'm use to people tellin me if I guy really likes you, you'll know it. So that is my conflict
     
  8. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I think you have the gist of fun girl in the strictest terms.

    Some guys are just slow and stupid. Sometimes you gotta kinda let em know :lol: But dont be overt :toast:
    :geek:
     
  9. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    1st. She knew exactly what was meant by "fun girl" and so do men. 2nd guys arent that complicated and neither was her question.

    My commentary wasnt shallow at all and quite on point. Now if you want to know specifics, by all means, start a thread and ask for specifics
     
  10. hiphopolx

    hiphopolx Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    My point was you making generazations. We're both men (correct me if I'm wrong if I am I apologize) But as a man you can't speak for me, maybe I'm the type to fall in love with your definition of a 'fun girl' also until you say what your definition of what a fun girl is you really can't assume everybody knows what you're talking about. Based on the context of this thread there are a few different definitions that could be applied. Lets say you define it as a woman who really likes sex, and if she met a guy who felt the same why couldn't he fall in love at some point. When two ppl share something mutual including sex. Sex like anything else could be the start of something. " guys arent that complicated" again generazations Some men can be just as complicated as a woman (which is probably what most woman believe anyhow) The shallowness is your conviction that guys as opposed to 'you' would not fall in love of what you define as a 'fun girl'

    And was another thread neccesary to express this. Talk about complicated (lol)

    peace
     
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