Black Men : Don't Take "No" for an Answer

Discussion in 'Black Men - Fathers - Brothers - Sons' started by river, May 8, 2010.

  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    My cousin told me she was watching the news and this woman told how she had come out of a club with some friends in the DC area when this cat came up and asked her for her phone number. She told him no and he threatened to shoot all of them.

    Everybody started running then she felt a pain in her ankle. He had shot her in her ankle.

    When we try to say no gently so as to save a man's ego we are accused of sending mixed messages and playing games. When we use no uncertain terms we are shot. . I know this happens a lot. Not the shooting but the ungradious way men take it when a woman says no.

    Of course, no destee man would resort to such actions. But tell me, brothas how do you respond?
     
  2. Ankhur

    Ankhur Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If politicians are hitting crack pipes in DC who knows what so called average cats there are doing.
    You will never hear that kind of foolishness in NYC
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    when they say and quote ( I don't take no for an answer ) there is some truth
    to that upside tale .

    The downside is there are some who can't accept rejection and take the word No
    as a defensive fight or rejection these are men who is troubled mentally
    maybe more like an sex offender who might prey on women.

    I've never had a problem with accepting No for an answer or being rejected
    often i have never allowed myself to come to this point because i do my homework.

    I have once responded to a No, w/ a thank you for your honesty and time bye

    But i can't respond for anothers action /emotions or feelings mentally
    gosh i've seen the vice verse to this story as well ....nothing nice.
     
  4. enquiring_mind

    enquiring_mind Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Back in 03/04, a friend and I were physically attacked by around SIX men, in front of a packed, glass-fronted restaurant, for daring to resist their physical advances. It saddens me that some people will exploit their own physical/sexual prowess or percieved 'domination' in this way. I'd never dream of doing that to a man!!?? Part of me feels that such men do so, simply because they know that they 'can'. I know that this is mostly likely a minority of males with some questionable values, making other, decent men look bad...
     
  5. Ankhur

    Ankhur Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    No offense but that also seems to be a regional ish, cause alot of Brit men like to hang out and get drunk in large groups, and either fight or harass, at least that is the perception we get here in the states
     
  6. enquiring_mind

    enquiring_mind Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I never stated otherwise :) I was only sharing a relatively rare experience in response to the thread title, which I felt was generic enough to contribute to...Since I live in Britain, and am essentially British, I can only comment upon my experience as a British female...for instance, the use of firearms here, in a domestic capacity, is virtually unheard of...the drinking culture among some groups here (it's a predominantly white trend, Blacks overwhelmingly tend not to do this...we're not into the 'pub' culture at all, which is evident when you walk into one of the places haha!) doesn't incorporate firearms use lol!! Rare though it probably is, the story in the opening post is absolutely shocking to me :(

    It was a sunday, no bars or clubs open, and these 'brothers' were not behaving drunkenly. They were perfectly nice to begin with, but got upset when we said no...
     
  7. Ankhur

    Ankhur Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    that was some real sick behavior.

    Why bother to even "hit" on a sister with a line if one fears or gets hostile over rejection.

    Back in the days, even the best brothers with the most "game" would say 1 out of 10,

    and rejection is part of the flirting proces.

    Any man that does not expect that is like someone driving down a city street and thinking they will never see a stop light
     
  8. enquiring_mind

    enquiring_mind Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    True! Oh well...at least we can take heart that the vast majority (my firm belief) of men definitely do no behave in this way...it's just that sadly we only ever get to hear about those few whose behaviour is unacceptable...Thankfully I'm not one of those people whose perception of people gets permanently 'skewed' in the light of negative experiences- still love my brothers! :grouphug:
     
  9. warriorprincess

    warriorprincess Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I could be wrong, but I don’t think that this one incident of rejection drove this man to such an extreme reaction. I think that it is deeper than just her. I think that even if she had accepted his advance, he would have shot her eventually and maybe even killed her.
     
  10. chuck

    chuck Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I regret hearing and reading of such unjustified assaults against who were and are the bringers of life into our midst:

    Also I regret some of this has to do with who the idealists etc. of the modern Women's Movement never managed to redeem or reform...

    As in:

    A lot of menfolk...

    Any man who felt or thought their status etc. was or is guarateed merely because males have the majority of the money/wield the most power/etc. presume too much/base it on far too little...

    Just difficult if not impossible for illusions to sink in/reality checks eventually to prove otherwise...

    Unfortunately it did and does work both ways...

    Otherwise it wasn't and isn't that most of the rest of us didn't or don't need or want to change:

    Few if any of our alleged or real male leaders ever did or do ask us to...

    :10500:
     
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