Black Relationships : don't know What to Do Now

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by river, Dec 5, 2005.

  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    I left my husband on January 25 and state law required me to wait six months before I filed for divorce which I did back in August. Now it is December and I am staill a married woman because they can't find him to serve him the papers.

    I had called his sister to get his address because when I left him I had the phone turned off so all I knew was to call his sister. She told me he is not living anywhere When I leftt his rent money left with me but he did have food stamps and I knew he had nine brothers and six sisters in town so I wasn't worried about him being destitute. But she told me he was just drifting from relative to relative.

    So I gave the lawyer her address since that's where his mail went. Now the paralegal tells me they can't serve him at that address and they can't leave the papers with his sister. Then if and when they serve him there is a twenty day waiting period. Plus the lawyer is out on medical leave and the paralegal is not allowed to advise me about what should be done.

    I'm getting ready to go to school in Arkansas in a few weeks. I can't get the divorce in Arkansas because they don't have no fault divorces and verbal mental abuse is kinda hard to prove.

    Does anyone know what can be done when a spouse cannot be found?
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Sister River ... i don't know what to do in such a situation, but there is a web site that provides free legal advice on most every topic imaginable. Here's a link to the Divorce Page of that site. They have a forum where you can post your own question(s), specific to your state, and get free legal advice. I'd advise that you search around first, as there may have been questions like yours already asked and answered, allowing you to phrase yours in the best of manners, prior to submitting it.

    I hope it all works out for you soon.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sister Don't know what state you're in but have you been to the courthouse and file for divorce yourself or asked the clerk of the court what you have to do to become divorced? Also have you drawn up legal separation papers? Usually once the divorce proceedings have gone before a judge your husband has 30 days to contest the divorce. If he can't be reached in thirty days then the divorce is granted. Also if you can't find you estranged husband isn't that desertion? This only applies with a divorce resulting from irreconcilable differences. Remember this also doesn't cover property division. Divorce is messy but with patience and research you should achieve satisfactory results. Check your credit. See if he has made any recent join purchases since you've been separated...I'm not lawyer nor am I in your state but I have been divorced. Research for yourself at the courthouse...


    Peace.....
     
  4. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Thanks sista Destee.This should prove helpful.
     
  5. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Brotha Rad.

    I am in Texas. The clerk here told me she could not give me any advice because she is not a lawyer. This state does not have legal separations. Fortunately there is no property or children involved here and I would think a husband who insists there is nothing wrong with spraying my feet with Raid constitutes an irreconcilable difference.

    I will start my research at the site Destee suggested.

    Thanks Bro
     
  6. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Ooh Had to Share This Wit' Cha

    This sista in maine asked a question about getting a divorce from a marriage tht took place in Ethiopia. The sharp as a bowling ball cat told her
    Our lovely goddess replied
    Ouch! That sounds like the Samurai blade to me.:D

    http://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=293256

    It never fails. Right now 'Retha is singing "Respect"
     
  7. Auroraflower

    Auroraflower Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    so the first thing that has to happend ...


    is that they or lets say you have to find him......?


    in orther to get the divorce ?
















    Loveauroraflower:heart:
     
  8. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    hey Auroraflower,

    Last I heard his sister knows where he is because he picks up his mail at her house but he doesn't live there so he's not there when the man comes to serve him the papers and he can't leave the papers with his sister.
     
  9. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Hmmmmmm.....


    You can always go back and find him. Have him sign the papers direct.
     
  10. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Yeah and I can always be a permanent fixture on Destee's Bureu of Missing Persons:D
     
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