Don't Curse Yourself!

Discussion in 'Black Men - Fathers - Brothers - Sons' started by Mike Ramey, Aug 1, 2003.

  1. Mike Ramey

    Mike Ramey Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Jul 26, 2002
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    +17 / -0
    When some else can say it better...I like to share it!

    Columnist Don J. Lee sent this one along:

    Be careful not to stone folk for their selections in a companion; don't curse yourself

    By Donald Lee

    I was in an online discussion recently and the topic dealt with Los Angeles Lakers player Kobe Bryant and the fiasco surrounding his infidelity. In the discussion, some young black women were already bothered by the fact that he'd married a young white woman. The controversy surrounding his adultery and whether he committed a sexual assault was just the icing on the cake for some of these black women.

    Basically, the women's sentiment was that successful "brothers," particularly pro athletes, treat white women as "rewards" and "trophies." These black women felt "rejected" by "our brothers." And the gist of what they were saying is that they were sick and tired of "brothers" passing them up to get to the white girl. The way I see it, these "sistas" were player-hatin' on those "brothas" for their choices (Numbers 12:1) in women and were also player-hatin' on these (white) women for merely being the choices. Asinine, isn't it? Well, following is my response:

    Any self-assured person, be it man or woman, is supposed to flow through life not caring what the next man or woman has (Hebrews 12:1). Of course, what I'm about to say is not geared toward all black women (or men, for that matter). If I were a single man (and I used to be, which qualifies me to say this) and a sista I was shootin' for wanted a white man, then I cain't, in my right state of mind, hate on that white man for being the one that the sista chose, or hate on the sista, for that matter, for choosin' the white man.

    That ain't got nothin' to do with me. The way I'd see it is: "Hey, girl, your loss." But I'd even keep THAT opinion to myself. I wouldn't tell her that or nonverbally express it. I KNOW who I am. If I don't complain and if I stay true to myself and avoid blamin' other people for what I didn't get, then I know that I WILL get what I want. In fact, if I didn't get THAT sista, it could be that the Lord had someone better for ME. Not necessarily a better woman, but a better woman for ME, whereas the one I was after at first may have been a serious problem for me.

    It's like being in a race on the track. What am I going to do if somebody else beats me on the track?: "The only reason why he won is because he had on blue track shoes and I had on red ones. He wasn't really faster than me" or "He won because they used a different stop watch for the both of us." And in this scenario, it's easy to see (when you look at the video) that I lost by a sizable length. When I'm in a race or any kind of competition, I don't have time to burn off the little energy I have worryin' about the next person.

    I just run MY race and let the rest take care of itself (1st Corinthians 9:24). There are a lot of "brothas" marrying white women. But guess what, ladies: There are PLENTY of "brothas" left, good brothas, who are STILL lookin' for a "sista," one with integrity. But nobody will EVER get what they're meant to have if they're spending their time criticizin' other people. Maybe the white girl got the "brotha" because she was more equipped to handle a need he had that you (for whatever reason) weren't equipped or weren't willing to meet. Plus, look at Kobe. If YOU ("sista") were married to Kobe, then YOU would've been the one he cheated on. Would it have been any better had he married a "sista"? Give me a break. If you're a single woman or man: Here's a nugget you can either eat and digest or you can chuck:

    Don't EVER worry about what somebody else is doing or has. If what they have is a good thing, find out what they're doing and work that method (if it's good and founded on integrity) and watch you reap the same thing, if you sow the same thing. By the same token, if what they have is a bad thing, then thank God that you DIDN'T get that rascal. Oh, by the way. I don't personally know Kobe Bryant. But I still am fully persuaded that God can use him. If you're hatin' on folk for their biracial relationships, I recommend you read Numbers 12:1; Numbers 12:4-5; and Numbers 12:10. And see how the Lord deals with haters. Don't get caught up. Be blessed!

    (Donald Lee's e-mail address is [email protected] Ministry link:
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    United States
    Mar 21, 2001
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    BUSINESS owner
    +4,174 / -2
    indeed i so agree we all have the choice of how we wish to live
    it's not just sports figures but everyday men and women make
    these same changes and choices .......he who hate will need to
    answer at the judgement gate .