Black People : Domestic Violence

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Kemetstry

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In light of the recent happenings between Chris Brown and Rhianna, I think we need to discuss this. In other sites, people have treated this like the abortion debate. Taking one side or the other, no in between. I would like to take a different tact:
:argue:

1. What is a toxic relationship? How do you recognize it and get out?

2. Why do so many on both sides justify staying in them? I ask this because brothers are victims of DV, but we dont talk, at all!

3. In todays PC society, are brothers ever asllowed to defend themselves?

Ex. Brother stayed in a relationship for over two years. Largely, because it was the greatest sex ever, and she gave it up whenever he even thought about it. She had severe PMS. And the arguments and potention for and actual violence was obviously escalating. All logic said, this was a tragedy waiting to happen.........

Lets talk and change the names if necessary. Just to protect the innocent. :lol: :uhh:


:donttell:















 

phynxofkemet

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Dear Brother Kemestry,

In light of the recent happenings between Chris Brown and Rhianna, I think we need to discuss this. In other sites, people have treated this like the abortion debate. Taking one side or the other, no in between. I would like to take a different tact:
:argue:

1. What is a toxic relationship? How do you recognize it and get out?

2. Why do so many on both sides justify staying in them? I ask this because brothers are victims of DV, but we dont talk, at all!

3. In todays PC society, are brothers ever asllowed to defend themselves?

Ex. Brother stayed in a relationship for over two years. Largely, because it was the greatest sex ever, and she gave it up whenever he even thought about it. She had severe PMS. And the arguments and potention for and actual violence was obviously escalating. All logic said, this was a tragedy waiting to happen.........

Lets talk and change the names if necessary. Just to protect the innocent. :lol: :uhh:


:donttell:


If I May venture cautiously out into the emotionally charged subject matter; i would first like to do so using your story as an example.
If as you say your brother stayed with a womban for 2 years mostly because he liked her sexual performance, was that not a seed for toxicity in itself?

Is is okay to stay with someone because you like their sex but are not in love with them? Is that a form of emotional betrayal, possibly abuse or maltreatment?

She's not a prostitute is she? She's his woman, and if he's not in it for love then what does he think he will sow?

These brothers who sleep with a womban and don't think that how they truly feel about her won't come back to them are rather ignorant of the womban's nature. Her earth is her responsibility, to ensure that the seeds planted within her soul, her psyche and her body are loving and nurturing; not exploitive and draining.

So in response t your question about what makes a relationship toxic, how about manipulation and dishonesty. Lack of agreement as to why you are together?

Just out of curiousity, did this couple sit down and make life plans together, goals that had them working together, invested in a future, or did they just take it as it came, sex first and planning after?
A relationship is toxic when it hurts you, when what you see and what you feel from that person is hurt or hurtful. Time to walk away.
We come together to build each other up, not tear one another down. When you catch the evil eye it's better to take space and a lot of it.


 

phynxofkemet

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I am also curious

Oh yes, was her PMS actually diagnosed or speculated by observers?
I ask because, it is a "manageable physical condition"?

Brothers & sisters have to be real with one another. Relationships are work. But like our work they are meant to make us shine not shrink.
If the nation is going to turn things around in the home we have to gather the tools to support one another. If we are unwilling or unable then it's better to be alone.

We are looking for perfection in our mates but not within ourselves?

From what I understand he (CB) received a phone call from another female pursuit when the argument started. Hmmmmpf. I don't like to use the word hate, but I d hate that behavior, it leaves a stink.

Disrespect & insults do not cultivate peaceful waters.
 

mazimtaim

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Aug 29, 2006
923
49
In light of the recent happenings between Chris Brown and Rhianna, I think we need to discuss this. In other sites, people have treated this like the abortion debate. Taking one side or the other, no in between. I would like to take a different tact:
:argue:

1. What is a toxic relationship? How do you recognize it and get out?

2. Why do so many on both sides justify staying in them? I ask this because brothers are victims of DV, but we dont talk, at all!

3. In todays PC society, are brothers ever asllowed to defend themselves?

Ex. Brother stayed in a relationship for over two years. Largely, because it was the greatest sex ever, and she gave it up whenever he even thought about it. She had severe PMS. And the arguments and potention for and actual violence was obviously escalating. All logic said, this was a tragedy waiting to happen.........

Lets talk and change the names if necessary. Just to protect the innocent. :lol: :uhh:


:donttell:
















I don't get it. I am not really sure what your position is. Can brothas protect themselves? Well. . .I guess. But I don't know if I have ever had to protect myself physically, from a sista. I mean, when it comes to fighting it wouldn't be a contest. So I don't fight them. I think one time a sista jumped me and I subdued her by sitting on her until I get a good running start. But, other than that, I would turn the lights off on a dude jumping me.


????????

:uhh:
 
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