Black Women : DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by PurpleMoons, Dec 8, 2004.

  1. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    Bringing you the 411 on the signs of a potential abusive partner!

    This topic is a very sensitive one. As I type, there will be atleast 4 women who will die everyday from domestic abuse. I want my young sisters to be able to recognize the signs of an abusive partner. I want my sister who are in an abusive relationship to know that there is help out there.

    No one should ever be treated with such cruelty! Many sisters stay in abusive relationships because they love the person that abuses them. They believe that their partner will change, but the truth is, no one who doesn't want to change will do so. If you love that person, the best thing you can do is get help.

    Domestic violences affect everyone! It affects your family, your children, and your friends. If you are in an abusive relationship and you want out, there are many hot lines for you to call. Never ever tell your partner that you are planning to leave. You must leave at a time when he is not home or when ever it is safe to do so. Don't tell your mate where you are. It can bring worst harm to you, friends, family, and or the children that you are staying with.

    here are a few signs to look for when dating:

    A Push For Quick Involvement: pressured for exclusive commitment almost immediately.

    Jealousy: Excessively prossesive. Calls constantly, don't want you to work because you might meet someone, checks mileage on your car.

    Controlling: Interrogates you intensely (especially if you are late.)

    Unrealistic: Expects you to be the perfect mate and meets his every need.

    Isolation: Tries to cut you off from friends and family. Blames others for problems or mistakes.

    Hypersensitivity: Is easily insulted and cruel to animals and children. Kills or punches animals. Epects children to do things far beyond their ability.

    "Playful" Use Of Force During Sex: Enjoys throwing you down or holding you against your will.

    /verbal Abuse: Constantly criticizes you or say blantanly cruel, hurtful things. Also involves sleep depriviation.

    Rigid Sex Roles: Expects you to serve, obey and remain home.

    Sudden Mood Swings: Switches from sweetly loving to explosively violent in a matter of minutes.

    Past Batteries: Make statements like, "I'll break you neck," and then dismisses them with,"everybody talks that way," or "I didn't really mean it."

    Take notes to these signs. If your are acquainted with someone who is showing some of these traits, Please use extreme caution when deciding whether or not to commit to these people.

    And sisters who are already caught up in it, Please get out of that life threatening situation. I will be posting some links where you can get help!

    You may feel like you can't make it without them, but how do you know, if you haven't tried yet?

    Get Help! You don't have to do it alone!
     
  2. kyecee

    kyecee Member MEMBER

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    i agree

    you are right!
    it is difficult to realize that someone is abusing you because'as you said,this person cut us off from our family, friends......
    the most difficult think it's that he breaks ya psychological forces.:hammer:
    personnaly, i stayed a long time with a man who abuse me and it took me 2 years to leave him. and 2 years to consider me as a good person so 4 years lost.
    women have to know that they are someone who has to be respected.
    (sorry for my bad english)
     
  3. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Deep, Sister Purple... I just got annoyed reading the traits of the abusive personality profile... Wow, to think folk actually get involved with people who exhibit those traits - anyone of them... Thanks for making the sisters and the brothers cognizant, Sister Purple... Most deep, and most timely, particularly in light of the fact that so many women are being murdered daily by out of control men...

    Peace!
    isaiah
     
  4. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Very good thread. I have had two friends die because of domestic violence.
    My one friend tried to get out but he would find her no matter what. I believe with the correct information and help she would still be alive, he (her husband) is in prison for life. And the my other friend no one had a clue it was happening until he shot her with a shotgun at point blank range and turn the gun on him self.

    I like to share some links.

    http://www.ncadv.org/
    National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Web Site
    Providing Over 25 Years of Activism
    Since 1978

    http://www.feminist.org/911/crisis.html
    Domestic Violence Hotlines and Resources

    http://www.usda.gov/da/shmd/aware.htm
    Domestic Violence Awareness Handbook

    http://www.silcom.com/~paladin/madv/
    Men Against Domestic Violence

    http://www.s-t.com/projects/DomVio/domviohome.HTML
    More than 60 articles, published over 11 days, explore domestic violence - its causes, its victims, and some solutions.

    domestic violence come in all forms rather mentally or physically.
    Sister Purple this is the best thread yet!!!!!

    Peace
    Angel
     
  5. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    :grouphug: Sister Kaycee, I am ever so happy that you were strong enough to make the decision to get out. Many women stay in these relationships, passing the cycle on to their children. You did a brave thing Sister as I can only imagine how scarey it must have been to act.

    I'm proud of you and all the women who stand up for themselves!
    I'm keeping the faith for the women who haven't gotton the strength yet!
     
  6. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    ya know Brother Isaiah, alot of times we don't think about these things until we witness it or someone we are close to and love is battling this type abuse everyday. Shoot! we hardly ever talk about this issues.

    We got to keep the people aware and on the look out. Some of our Brothers are victims to this too. So brothers, watch the signs as well. It can happen to you too. It might be so swift that you wont live to see another day.

    Protect yourselves by knowing the traits! Be Safe family!
     
  7. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    Wow sister Angel! Its so sad to hear that your friends didn't make it out in time. Thank you for posting the links also! I can't stop stressing that we need to educate ourselves. Please! To all those who are currently experiencing abuse, Use those links! Help keep yourself Alive!!!!!!!
     
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