Black Relationships : Domestic Violence: Men as Victims

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Regina, Apr 17, 2003.

  1. Regina

    Regina Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Women are given permission to hit, slap or punch men. Society is more apt to take a lighter view of domestic violence when the female is violent and controlling. We look down on men who are aggressive to women, but women being aggressive to men is acceptable.

    Domestic violence laws protect mainly women. Even when there is evidence of a woman being violent, most of the time the police are reluctant to arrest her. Sometimes the male is the one arrested. If the woman lies, there is little or no punishment for perjury. The legal system adds to the misery of the abuse. There are shelters for battered women, but when a man calls an abuse hotline, he is laughed at or not assisted at all.

    What are your views on men as victims of domestic violence?
     
  2. monetg

    monetg Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Regina,

    Suprisingly enough the number of abused men has risen but they are more reluctant to report it. I don't think women are given permission to hit, slap or punch-they just take for granted that as women they won't be hit, slapped or punched back.
    I don't think it's right for either sex to be violent and I'm also enough of a humanist (in addition to being a feminist) to believe that if a woman is man enough to hit a man she better be man enough to be ready to be hit back.
     
  3. Kitana

    Kitana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Regina

    Growing up I always heard the phrase that "only cowards hit women"...
    men who hit women were frowned upon and thought of as bullies and "less than a man"

    I agree with your opinion on society's outlook in regard to the male/female domestic vilolence situation...most people are shocked/against men hitting/abusing women, but turn a blind eye to women hitting/abusing men...to my way of thinking I would say it stems from the knowledge that men are on the whole, physically stronger than women so therefore have the upper hand and in doing so do not need protection...but I personally have seen the type of women who yell and scream and slap their spouses to get their attention or to demand something from them...and not once have I seen a man hit a woman for doing so...if only these women could sit back and take a look at themselves while acting this way I'm sure they would rethink thier actions....

    I am against violence in any form, but I also think that if these type of women are going to persist in this type of behaviour persistently, then they must expect retaliation in some shape or form...

    K
     
  4. monetg

    monetg Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A wise woman uses words to express herself and be heard a foolish woman uses her fists.
     
  5. Kitana

    Kitana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    monetg...

    well said!!:)

    there is also..
    "brains over brawn" and "violence begets violence"
    which would also pertain to this topic...

    personally I think it looks terrible to see a woman yelling like a banshee and abusing her man out in public for all to see...for me it makes her less of a woman...not to mention her self respect...

    K
     
  6. monetg

    monetg Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Keme,

    Yes the number of abused men has risen.
     
  7. Regina

    Regina Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The issue of domestic violence hits close to home with me. I have an uncle who was killed (stabbed to death) by his girlfriend. He was not the abuser, she was the abusive one. He left her several times and she would beg him to come back. She only received manslaughter for her crime. The DA was going for first degree murder. Guess which juror wouldn't agree to anything other than manslaughter? The young black woman on the jury. She didn't want to send a sister up the river. The other jurors felt my uncle's murderer got off easy. The judge stated he wished he had known Corey because everyone spoke so highly of him.

    Corey was my uncle but he was more like my little brother. He was my Grandmom's menopause baby and was six years younger than me.
     
  8. Kitana

    Kitana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Kem...

    although you may find this suprising...yes I have...on more than one occasion...in both instances they were people I had known for years (coming from a small town)..I don't see the attraction in this type of behaviour and I told them so..although my point of view was not especially appreciated at that point in time....

    K
     
  9. Kitana

    Kitana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Regina..

    thats a sad story..and I'm sorry you had to witness it happening within your own family..

    and it's a perfect example of the way society looks at male/female versus female/male abuse...

    I personally do not see why a woman should be treated more leniently for a crime simply because she is a woman....the crime is the same, therefore so should the sentence be the same..

    K
     
  10. SayinWhatUCant

    SayinWhatUCant Active Member MEMBER

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    I personally do not see why a woman should be treated more leniently for a crime simply because she is a woman....the crime is the same, therefore so should the sentence be the same..

    K
    Hey K....I agree with pretty much all of the opinions.....But I add... I hold the people put there to "Protect and Serve".... They make the ultimate decision. And in my experience they don't really give a hoot..... They can respond to a DV call 12 times at the same address....the 13th time some one is hurt very badly or worse dead.. Who's to blame besides of course the primary players....
     
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