Black Relationships : Does Love At First Sight Really Exist?

I think you need to look of the definition for backpedaling. You are not using it correctly. I would be backpedaling if I changed my position drastically from what I had at first. No where have I changed my position on the subject. I did not come out and state I would not buy a car for someone I love, I only gave examples of what acts I have done for people I love.

We wouldn't be having this conversation if we were talking about lending cars.

If I understand you correctly (which would be a miracle) you are comparing what you would do for your wife, to what people in general should do for their beloved. I am saying that unmarried people might be head over heels in love, but not having legal protections that married people have, it is wise for them to put their emotions to the side, face the facts of how often love fails, and the consequences of pretending you are married when you are not. This has turned romantics to sad, bitter, frustrated, hurt, individuals, because they made obvious mistakes commingling money with people who weren't moved to "put a ring on it".
 
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We wouldn't be having this conversation if we were talking about lending cars.

If I understand you correctly (which would be a miracle) you are comparing what you would do for your wife, to what people in general should do for their beloved. I am saying that unmarried people might be head over heels in love, but not having legal protections that married people have, it is wise for them to put their emotions to the side, face the facts of how often love fails, and the consequences of pretending you are married when you are not. This has turned romantics to sad, bitter, frustrated, hurt, individuals, because they made obvious mistakes commingling money with people who weren't moved to "put a ring on it".

No, you do not understand me.

I think the problem you have with comprehending my posts is that you seem to be making mental edits to what I have written. Your responses then seem to be based on that additional information you have created, instead of what I have actually written.
 
Does love at first sight exist?

Liberty you said you felt like he could see right through you. He could see your depth. A year later is when it actually struck you.

When I first saw my wife from a distance, on sight I was struck. It wasn’t lust. I felt no need or desire to get in her swim suit and she looked good enough for me to desire that too.

I wanted to know who this was that caught (captured me in that way, and that way too has depth that is hard to explain) my attention. I knew what being in love was like. I had been before her. I messed that up. I was in the field but hard to capture. Hunters can’t afford to be captured by the game.

I had no search on; I was not without companionship with others. Two years passed after she shot me down.

For her it was not love at first sight. Not because she didn’t like me, or wasn’t interested. Her father was strict, she didn’t want to challenge that and show interest or go against whatever he had established about her dating life.

A relationship will consume most if not all of your time. It is a daily in the ring fighting to a degree to keep you and your love satisfied, interested, interesting as well while having fun and enjoying each other, as things go up, things going down and side-ways kind of commitment.

The question you asked too was “How can you tell love at first site and just plain lust?” You can’t clearly tell them apart at all. Especially today, because that guy is all about that thing. That girl may be all about that thing.

Love comes quick, and love goes faster. Love can linger, love can strike later. Love can last. Never meeting exactly the height’s it could, and that has to be realized.

Quick love, no one is analyzing is this a first love. ‘Love at first sight?” That is recognized later by many. When it is said it was love at first site. For some that is realized later. After a person is gone, they break up or while still in the relationship and it is well under way. Some may say then to ( or about ) him / her. It was love at first site. Then it is validated for many.

It was said, in the post at first sight, you love how they laugh, smile, talk, walk, stand, kiss, dance, and sing etc. Those are loves at first sight of something. This is how it unfolds.

Love is not always returned, learned or given. Unless you give 100% of yourself and they do the same. A relationship of any kind is not a 50/50. It’s 100/100

There will be times they are given 60 you giving 40. You’re giving 100 they are giving close to nothing. Recognize the measure. Is it a deal breaker… it’s up to the individual.

What has to be given is total monogamy to really know if they love you / them you.

Not fearing being hurt. Love does hurt. It hurts because you have to vulnerable and vulnerability is seen and known. Only I can lose my wife, only she can lose me.

I established and she asked me to commit. She knew I was in heavily in the field. She asked me and this is a challenge.

Can you be with only woman? I don’t lie. Not to her and to myself. My word is mine.

Then she asked can you be with only me? True to me first I answered and established immediately on the spot. Yes. I tore up that book up that same day. No discussion of total monogamy it happened with that brief statement and conversation.

I told her what I wanted and expected. She agreed. I said.

· All I ask is for you to keep up. Don’t slow me down.

· If you can’t, give me your hand

· Don’t get in my way…go against me in any way

· Don’t deny me sex

· If you ever want off this ride, let me know I am going to miss you.

Again...I am hers to lose. She is mine to lose.

I respect me. I respect her. I would never create a situation, where another can say. I had your man. From her I expect the same…me totally until.

In all the time we have been together. Make no mistake. There have been some serious deal breakers, especially from her. But my love is not based on that. All of those things above...mentioned all encompassing. How she smile, laughs, raised my children now, walked, stuck with me etc…Is love at first sight and is love.

Since love is in the mind. Love if it doesn’t progress from there to your whole being either immediately or over a short period of a year or two. It was just a relationship.

Lust is… I / you just want sex. Just to get some selfish satisfaction and relief. That can be determined immediately, they actually say it in many cases.

In this vein love does exist at first sight. For me I know and knew.

Love is from the mind, and all of your matter. Not connected to parts below the bladder. Sex is the beauty of that and a part of that expression and continuation of that.

When I first saw my wife from a distance, on sight I was struck. It wasn’t lust. Because as I stated. I felt no need or desire to get in her swim suit.

That’s why I say it today. For my wife it wasn’t at all. Her love of me was second sight two years later when we met again. I told her as we were coming together… that she was growing on me…that was before I became really truthful with myself, I wasn’t rushing in on the second meeting. Who was this woman that captured me two years earlier?

I saw that she was someone I could spend a lot of time with, marry. It was simple too.

But that was in our fourth year of the dating union.

She will never admit it even it was at first for her…when she shut that door two years earlier. She doesn’t express like me at all. I know we are not the same in that respect / expression. That doesn’t minimize. I still hold to my short list above. As long as that is working / respected and remains established our love can last and continue.

Just last Christmas, with a room of men / women and friends many meeting for the first time I embarrassed her again, by telling how we met. The conversation I don’t recall how it started or happened but it started and I spoke up like I do all the time expressing how we met and what I knew, now know and can confirm. I told the room. I loved her at first sight. My daughter was sitting across the table. Her boyfriend was there. He later wanted to have a talk with me about my relationship and its longevity. Was she embarrassed again…and again…because I have told this to many people. This is usually the story a woman is telling. How her and he met and fell in love.

She is always there with me when it happens. I never bring it up unless asked, when we met, how we met etc.

In the thread it was asked. If you meet someone and it was love at first sight. Would you buy them a house, car etc. That depends…on the individual and some women do buy their fellows they are dating things… because he is manipulating her.

If I could have afforded it I would have. First thing I did do is took her shopping. Then got her a car, I told her she will never have to catch the bus again. Then, told her I won’t ask you to marry me until, I can provide something more. Like a house. In our fifth year I had a house that she didn’t know about. She graduated college. I was going to propose and she told me, something she hadn’t communicated at all.

· She was moving to California. It was that line above.

If you ever want off this ride, let me know I am going to miss you.

I told her I was not going to the airport to wish her off. She left.
I didn’t sign the loan papers and forfeited a 5 bed room home. COST $1.00

Thru HUD they were going to give this home that needed a few windows replaced that were cracked, a few of the walls were scuffed badly, a few of the doors had to be replaced in rooms… stuff that section eight homes need.

There was a 3% loan promised to do all upgrades, and after one year of residence. I would receive title. I never mentioned it, and told the HUD office to award to someone else.

I later got my sister a 3 bedroom home the same way. Talk about blessings.

Six months she gone, writing me I wrote her back, she sending me newspaper clippings tell me I could be working in California and we could be together.

I eventually after everyone told me I was not the same. I missed her, but I was doing great. I was not dating but had two jobs, making good money a van, a car, going to clubs and coming home. I went out with a friend who I hadn’t seen in about two years. That night he convinced me to go. He said…. California is beautiful. Besides, there’s still some GOLD in those hills. We laughed.

Within two weeks I had quit both jobs, was receiving unemployment because of how I did it. I gave away my van, my car, bike and packed up ten small boxes,, and bought a one way ticket. Ready or not. The rest is I am here.

Back again with my one and only true first sight love.
 
:11100:i was simply testing the limits of this 'love' at first sight.......

Pay attention to HODEE's posts. He is on the money. When you fall in love at first sight, you aren't aware sure if you can trust your earth, right off the bat, it takes time. It confuses you. Yes, you have a very strong attachment. But, you can't put your finger on it immediately. It's easier to deny it because no one is taught to believe it can happen like that. But, it is that the feeling won't go away, and you have to come to terms with it at some point realizing that you were right all along.
 
Yes, love at first sight can and does happen

Thank you for posting.

I know it does. But, for those who have never experienced it, we sound crazy as hell, I guess. And, it's very difficult to put it into words. They can only understand LUST at first sight. Having experienced both, I know for certain they are not the same.

*smh*
 

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