Black Relationships : Do you think you are sexy? Whats sexy to you?

Do you think your sexy?

  • Darn Right Im Sexxy!

    Votes: 27 56.3%
  • Yea, I guess

    Votes: 7 14.6%
  • Thats what they say, so who am i to question?

    Votes: 11 22.9%
  • I dont think so.

    Votes: 1 2.1%
  • I used to be, 5 years and 2 divorces ago.

    Votes: 2 4.2%

  • Total voters
    48

Sun Ship

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Aug 31, 2003
1,630
38
karmashines said:
If anybody approaches me for a friendly conversation, then I will be friendly back with them. I don't care about the gender or race.

However, I have encountered some black men that were downright rude when talking to me. One guy started talking friendly, then he said, "Can I have sex with you," after having only spoken to me for like five minutes. There is no reason to be nice with someone talking to me like I'm a prostitute.

People wonder why women, especially black women do and feel the way they do. Well, often times it's their own experiences that have caused them to be cautious of complimenting men, or really talking to them at all unless they are sexually interested in them. And even then they must be careful if they want to ensure they'll get a chance to date the man for longer than one night.

As far as black women not speaking as being reasons why black men go DL or go to white women... that's a bunch of bull and is no different than the slew of black women on here who have said black men's issues are the reason they go to white men. If you go to white women you do it 'cause you like them. If you go to men, you do it because you're gay or at least bisexual! Black women have nothing to do with these choices!

Anyway, why is there such a double-standard sometimes on this site? I see posts saying that black men should go to Carribbean or African women because of the lack of good American black women around... which is fine I guess, but God if a black woman gives her honest opinion about her experiences or whatever it's seen as twisted or backwards. And I'm not even saying that black men's issues are why black women go to white men or go gay. In fact, what I've said in this thread, (with the exception of this post where I specifically said some black men are too forward), goes for men in general.

I can’t speak to all the most bizarre or extreme brothers approaches to sisters, even though to my surprise, some of the most bodacious and sexually provocative brothers I know have scored with even the most supposedly intelligent and decent Black women by saying some of the most outrageous things to these sisters. I still find myself amazed how effective some of the most seemingly contradictory approaches to seemingly decent women have worked, but I guess that’s just one of the strange truths of life. I was raised and taught one way and have seen life sometimes strangely contradict those lessons. But when all the conservative and decent talk is over, it’s usually time to see what’s really going on.

I have even heard the most decent sister honestly talk about the time they irresponsibly slipped and “Ooopsed” and got their Big freak-on during a blind fling with some brother just out for the coochie…some reason they felt less inhibited with this type of brothers.

I don’t necessarily understand or defend those statements about DL brothers and I don’t think any Black men here are necessarily running to white women. But if a natural born intelligent Heterosexual Black man can’t speak to, flirt with, woo or impress his own woman, than whom does he embrace to have a natural emotional, intellectual and sexual balance with? White women?? Chinese women?? ...I think not...hopefully...

I believe Black women are so self-defensive and hypocritical sometimes, that they will invent almost any excuse or utilize any extreme idea to stay in denial about their personalities issues…it’s so sad…
 

karmashines

Banned
MEMBER
Feb 26, 2005
2,578
19
Sun Ship said:
I can’t speak to all the most bizarre or extreme brothers approaches to sisters, even though to my surprise, some of the most bodacious and sexually provocative brothers I know have scored with even the most supposedly intelligent and decent Black women by saying some of the most outrageous things to these sisters. I still find myself amazed how effective some of the most seemingly contradictory approaches to seemingly decent women have worked, but I guess that’s just one of the strange truths of life. I was raised and taught one way and have seen life sometimes strangely contradict those lessons. But when all the conservative and decent talk is over, it’s usually time to see what’s really going on.

I have even heard the most decent sister honestly talk about the time they irresponsibly slipped and “Ooopsed” and got their Big freak-on during a blind fling with some brother just out for the coochie…some reason they felt less inhibited with this type of brothers.

I don’t necessarily understand or defend those statements about DL brothers and I don’t think any Black men here are necessarily running to white women. But if a natural born intelligent Heterosexual Black man can’t speak to, flirt with, woo or impress his own woman, than whom does he embrace to have a natural emotional, intellectual and sexual balance with? White women?? Chinese women?? ...I think not...hopefully...

I believe Black women are so self-defensive and hypocritical sometimes that they will invent any excuse or utilize any extreme idea to stay in denial about their personalities issues…it’s so sad…
If a black woman is rolling her eyes or being rude to a black man that's talking to her in a respectful manner then she's in the wrong. I don't advocate disrespect on either side.

As far as flirting, there is nothing wrong with this as long as it's done respectfully.
 

Isaiah

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Jun 8, 2004
3,210
63
Sun Ship said:
I can’t speak to all the most bizarre or extreme brothers approaches to sisters, even though to my surprise, some of the most bodacious and sexually provocative brothers I know have scored with even the most supposedly intelligent and decent Black women by saying some of the most outrageous things to these sisters. I still find myself amazed how effective some of the most seemingly contradictory approaches to seemingly decent women have worked, but I guess that’s just one of the strange truths of life. I was raised and taught one way and have seen life sometimes strangely contradict those lessons. But when all the conservative and decent talk is over, it’s usually time to see what’s really going on.

I have even heard the most decent sister honestly talk about the time they irresponsibly slipped and “Ooopsed” and got their Big freak-on during a blind fling with some brother just out for the coochie…some reason they felt less inhibited with this type of brothers.

I don’t necessarily understand or defend those statements about DL brothers and I don’t think any Black men here are necessarily running to white women. But if a natural born intelligent Heterosexual Black man can’t speak to, flirt with, woo or impress his own woman, than whom does he embrace to have a natural emotional, intellectual and sexual balance with? White women?? Chinese women?? ...I think not...hopefully...

I believe Black women are so self-defensive and hypocritical sometimes, that they will invent almost any excuse or utilize any extreme idea to stay in denial about their personalities issues…it’s so sad…

Wow, Brother Sun, you and the sisters have put a lot on the plate in this thread...(smile!)

You're right, sisters oft respond to us being "crazy" in our statements, and find us entertaining when we are most uninhibited, un-edited, and cold flat uncut and uncensored in our flirtations...(smile!) And just do not respond to a simple "good morning" or "good afternoon, how are you?"

Now, my personal experience has been that a sister will ignore the simple stuff to arouse a brother into saying a little more...(smile!) I don't know that its the most effective way to achieve that goal, but it is commonly done, and does work... I don't think it is most effective because it oft arouses other more negative emotions in brothers.

The thing is that with ladies, things are least often as they appear...


This thread seems to have morphed into us, as Black Men, attempting to get sisters to make stuff easy for us to figure out. I think that is like us asking white folks to stop all this white supremacy stuff, and just we all get along(smile!) It is not going to happen like that... Women will always attempt to make us figure them out, as they believe this adds to the mystery...and I guess theyre not wrong, either, because here we are trying to figure out their mysterious ways(smile!)

Again, getting back to sisters ignoring the simple hello, it is about the context... For example, it is rare for me to speak to an elderly Black woman, and not have that elderly sister respond - and with a smile too!(smile!) Younger women who are still into the dating thing, the relationship thing, see me quite differently, and are not as forthcoming with smiles all the time... Those eyes are the window to the soul, and the smile is the door... Sisters are demanding that you knock before that door is opened, and I cant knock that...

I say this because we never know who we're meeting out here. Living in Brooklyn, I get approached by folks who I wish would just leave me alone... These folks are, in the main, Black men, and these bothers are always begging for my last quarter... I can only imagine the attention sisters get, and as Riada mentioned, the sister is out there all by her lonesome feeling the same way I do... Unlike me, she can't just smoulder hot, and stare daggers at a cat to leave her alone, and get the right result. So I understand why they're oft reluctant to be very open... We have our perception of ourselves, and they might have quite another...

The only thing I can add to this is that we will have to continue to read the signs, and go with the flow... Forget about big smiles and sweet complimentary words coming from the sisters... Accept her love as somewhere buried in the macaroni and cheese, and when she opens up her "lovin cup" to you as the signs that she cares... Yeah, life can appear to be unfair in this way, but the universe ultimately balances things out in the long run...(smile!)

Peace!
Isaiah
 

Isaiah

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Jun 8, 2004
3,210
63
PoeticManifesta said:
Williamsburg, va... area code 757
POETIC, you tryna say you're on of them sweet southern belles??? Hey, I've gathered that in this thread, and I give you your props... Perhaps, down in the south, and particularly in the smaller towns, you get that warmth my mother and grandmother had... That's why I'm gone move down there in the next 4 or 5 years... I'm a warm guy - too warm for NYC - and I love the southern hospitality...

But in these big cities, like where James is from, everyone is rightfully suspicious of each other... There's a zillion games being run by a few million people, and you got to have your shield and mask on at all times... Can't even ask the time of day in NYC without someone feeling you've got an ulterior motive for asking... And trying to cull out the few truly open and sincere people is a monster task... That is why we have this attitude that there are few if any women who are open and forthright...

Nothing personal against you, darlin'...Williamsburg's finest!! ****, I think I'm gone play dat numbah, Poetic(Lady Luck?) Might win me enough to buy a ticket down to Virgin-I-A, hey now!(smile!) :pool:

Peace!
Isaiah
 

Riada

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
May 14, 2005
1,366
18
Isaiah said:
I say this because we never know who we're meeting out here. Living in Brooklyn, I get approached by folks who I wish would just leave me alone... These folks are, in the main, Black men, and these bothers are always begging for my last quarter... I can only imagine the attention sisters get, and as Riada mentioned, the sister is out there all by her lonesome feeling the same way I do... Unlike me, she can't just smoulder hot, and stare daggers at a cat to leave her alone, and get the right result. So I understand why they're oft reluctant to be very open... We have our perception of ourselves, and they might have quite another...

The only thing I can add to this is that we will have to continue to read the signs, and go with the flow... Forget about big smiles and sweet complimentary words coming from the sisters... Accept her love as somewhere buried in the macaroni and cheese, and when she opens up her "lovin cup" to you as the signs that she cares... Yeah, life can appear to be unfair in this way, but the universe ultimately balances things out in the long run...(smile!)

Peace!
Isaiah
**********************************

Bro. Isaiah, I think of all the brothas who've responded to this thread, you understand sistas or a woman's REAL reality the most. Women and men have VERY different realities as I've said before, and ESPECIALLY when it comes to anything sexually related.
I have enough sense to know that if I started complimenting every Black man
I met today on something about his clothes or looks and spoke back in a friendly way and made eye contact, I would probably be in the hospital by the weekend or jail because some of them would want to go a lot farther than just flirting and when a woman wants to put on the brakes, many of them won't stop and wiill claim she was asking for it, that she's a tease. Now, some of them will lie later on and tell other men something entirely different about how the whole thing went down. I've had men who I innocently spoke back to on the street ask me to suck their D$@k or ask if they can suck my big nip^$@s. These same brothas won't tell other men how many women they do that to, so you, as a man, never experience that side of life and are never at the end of that reality. Also, because of the difference in physical strength, I know that one of these men might be able to force his desires on me. It happens to Black women all the time tho many of them don't talk about it or will chalk it up to the AA female experience.
When I've mentioned things like this to African women, they can't believe this happens to us women here and from our own men because they say an African man would be beat down on the street by EVERYBODY on the street if he ever did talked to a decent woman like this. And I am a decent woman.

We're trying to learn a new way to relate to each other. So we need to keep it at that and not beat up on each other unneccessarily cause we know we've been thru a holocaust and some of us are stll in the midst of it.
 

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