Black Relationships : Do you save pictures and letters of old lovedones pastrelationships?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by LibertyLady, Jan 16, 2005.

  1. LibertyLady

    LibertyLady Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I was wondering how you think about this...

    could it harm ?

    yes or no...

    Should you or should you not..

    and where should you draw the line....


    as far as intimate pictures...















    Lovelibertylady:heart:
     
  2. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is a good question Liberty Lady! Personally I don't have old pictures of past girlfriends. I like to leave the past in the past, and have no such need for momentos. Indeed keeping such items can often slow the progress of future relationships, as women often take offense to pictures of old girlfriends.

    This being said, I do find that women often keep pictures of past boyfriends. They are usually out of the sight of a new boyfriend, but women do often have a hidden drawer or box of their past relationships. Perhaps some of the Destee sisters can explain why these items are important to women?
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I use to have pictures but only to toss them out so it don't become a problem
    with me or my mate in the past i thought it was ok to savor them for keepsake
    and laugh about it when you older but i learn they hold no value in my life
    letters i destroyed after reading them never kept those before because it was for
    my eyes only , can they be harmful YES to some point even if they are 10 years
    old but i also feel they not and say NO it really depend on how one's mate look at it
    and from what stand point it's a divided question because everybody see it differently
    going into a new relationship a line should be drawn out of respect and discard any old
    love items like letters , pictures but in many ways people keep them for keepsakes
    not to remember a past love but looking over life they talk about who, what and when
    through life and sometime old pictures help them remember the times , today it can
    be harmful to a relationship , this was a good question libertylady
     
  4. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I have pictures of my exes in my photo album with all the other photos. I don't hide them but I don't point them out either.

    I have a small suitcase filled with every single birthday card, thank you note, and letters that I've received in my lifetime...most of those are from friends and family, but I'm sure there are things in there from my exes. I'm not sure why I started saving these items, but now that I have...it's hard to throw them out.
     
  5. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yes, this was a good question. Hmmmm....I guess it really does depend on how both people see it. If the new person in your life doesn't like it, then you need to consider his or her feelings regarding it. And also ask yourself why you still have them. If you have them because you are still inwardly missing them somehow, well that is a huge problem. I still have pictures, but they remind me of a particular event. When my ex and I split, I never went around throwing away pictures, although the ones that were sitting out that I'd see everyday, I put those away because I didn't want them within my line of sight....LOL...Interesting to see how others answer this.
     
  6. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I keep all old letters. It allows me to see where my head was at in that particular point in time and use it as a gauge in terms of recognizing how I've changed or grew,
     
  7. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What about pictures?
     
  8. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The collector

    I use to keep memorabilia of my exes but they had to go when I got married. Know I don't have to keep items my exes are in my life someway or another. My wife know this. She also is secure in our marriage. Like I say the past is the past for a reason. To my knowledge my wife doesn't have forget-me-nots. If she does I don't know about them so to me them don't exist.


    Peace

    Radical Faith
     
  9. sweetbrownsugar

    sweetbrownsugar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I save everything. Especially letters but the ones from ex's Shoot! Naw! That's DANGEROUS TERRITORY IF YOU'RE MARRIED. I'm talking instant Black-eyes and stuff. When I go home to visit though, how come EVERY boy I dated...that's the first thing to come out of their mouth: ..."You know I saved EVERY ONE OF YOUR LETTERS and PICTURES!" Next time I go home, I'ma follow some of them cats home, creep in their windows, GET MY LETTERS BACK AND BURN DEM THANGS!!! AIN'T NO TELLING WHERE MY HEAD WAD BACK THEN!
     
  10. daroc

    daroc Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    for som reason this thread reminds me of when you were little and wrote a ltter to a boy/girl and they went showing it to everyone- and ur heasrt was broken...
    ...but anyways- i have pictures, sum letters- in places i forget they were- makin sure stuff stay classified as possible.to me is all the same as keeping an old diary.. and lookin at it now and then for a laf, a smile, or to see how u have chnaged... i think sometimes we need a little reminder around to stay moving forward to somin different and hopefully betta.

    the question is- if u dont have em- why did u destroy em- for u or for ur spouse- who was really worried?
     
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