Black Women : Do you hate me cuz I'm pretty?

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by sweet apple*pie, May 22, 2006.

  1. sweet apple*pie

    sweet apple*pie Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    For about a year now, I have dealt with some issues of insecurity and lack of confidence, because I feel like other woman, look at me so hatefully. For some reason, there hateful faces intimidate me. I find myself not even wanting to make eye contact with them. What to do? I feel like when I come in a room, the spotlight is on, and this makes me uncomfortable....
     
  2. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I feel you.......

    Wow, you must be a mind reader. I dealt with a situation the other day when this white chick and her 'click' walked into a restaurant, they sat far away from me and my man. For some reason as she waited for her food, she walked into my mans eyeshot (playing it off like she was grabbing a few napkins), and suddenly started 'dropping it like it's hot' to some music that was playing. LOL. Picture yourself in that situation. I just grinned, and continued my meal. As we left, I dropped a few nickels on the ground as a 'tip' and gave her a pathetic look, bwoy, was she as red as a beet:lol: Women in general can just be catty. I get mean mug stares too. I just figure these women are gay and/or attracted, or they have another motive. I keep my distance, and avoid eye contact also. I have a temperment to be reckoned with, so like I said, I avoid eye contact most of the time with women, and sometimes men. They say your eyes are the window to the world, and trust and believe I don't want anybody getting a feel of me and taking my humbleness as weakness. I used to think a lot of those same stares came from folks waiting to see a 'Black woman attitude' emerge in a flash....lol....other times they will pop a question such as: "Where are you from?". Not to pull the race card, but most of my problems/stares come from other races of women, I guess they're thinking: "How dare she defy the stereotype of the loud trifling Black woman.........*oh well, I guess SOME Black women do have their ish together*.....contrary to popular belief?!"

    Don't feel intimidated, nor insecure. MANY people get testy with Black women,(even Black women) they want to challenge some "big bad sister" they've heard about. They want you to feel intimidated! It's a part of the assassination of the Black woman's ego/character. Hold your head high, and occasionally glance back at them so they know that you know what's going on. Don't play into their game when they hurl insults, just ignore them. Ignorant peolple are inescapable! SMH.....
     
  3. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    I have experienced this ever since I could talk and I hate it.

    I simply do not trust women I meet out in public. I may smile and act nice, but inside when it comes to friendships, people must prove they are worthy to be trusted.

    Why some women do this, I don't know... I do think jealousy is a problem, but they do this to women they castigate as being 'fat, dark and ugly.' They do this even if they themselves are 'Miss It' in their little social circles.

    People don't like quiet, introverted people who smile and act nice but think god only knows when people are mean to them... but usually it's those types that make something of themselves because they already established they must find peace through things other than social acceptance.
     
  4. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sounds like a Woman Thang...

    I remember some time ago, standing in line to take a municipal examination outside a local highschool... The line was a NYC line of thousands of people just waiting... Behind me on this line were a group of sisters who'd come to take the test together... They riffed on every other sister that walked past them - particularly the sisters THEY KNEW would probably get mad attention from the men - super fine, sexily dressed, make a brother drool type sisters... Man, it was sad, but it said a lot more about them than those they were riffing on... It was disgusting, if you ask me...



    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  5. MississippiRed

    MississippiRed Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Love don't even worry about them ...the only one you should be concerned with is me and I love you because you're not only pretty but you are truly beautiful.............honestly don't worry about the haters they will do their job which is to hate...there are men who can't stand me because I am the original Fire Red and look like new money ...don't trip on them just brush em off.....when I see the haters I just smile at em and try to kill em with kindness which usually makes em hate even more because then you not only look good but you're cool folk too.......I love it.........but then again I'm a Leo and love the spotlight and attention ....without that and emotion , adoration and such from women in my life I'm hurtin......(dam I'm shallow)...anyway keep ya head up love and don't let them dictate how you feel or how comfortable you are in social situations......look them in the eye and be confident and secure in you.......


    MississippiRed
    "I can't be trusted, and I can't be satisfied
    When the men see me comin', they go pin their womens to their side"
    Blind Willie McTell
     
  6. IfUComeSoftly

    IfUComeSoftly Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    STOP!!!! ya boy just said he looks like new money... STOP!!!!

    you kill me errrytime sip...
     
  7. sweet apple*pie

    sweet apple*pie Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks everyone for the love and support. I had originally posted this in a different forum, and the feed back was more male dominated, and they tried to attack my esteem, and question me on my self-worth. I appreciate the sistas who truly feel where I am coming from.

    To spicy: That situation with ya man and that chick....that was funny! You get mad props for your "nickel dropping" I have a question for ya tho....what is your take on them catty women in THE WORK place? How to deal? I tried to befriend them chicks for while, but I must admit I was being phony. I wasnt truly feelin them, I just wanted to be accepted, at the time unfortunatley. I am past that now. Now I hang it solo, but them little click of women always be hatin, cuz now I am not interested in being down with them.

    To Karmashines: Girl, you are absolutly right! Clicks of women, hate it when you appear introverted, and quiet. They start thinking that "oh, she TOO GOOD to talk to anyone" OR, they start thinking, your boo'shie (sp?) I think, what it is Karma, is that women automatically have a distrust mechanism against other they dont know.
    Miss Red: Thanks for the love! Kill em' what kindness....I think that just might work!
    Isiah: yea, it's a woman thang, but dudes feel it too sometimes.....Anywaz,
    thanks for the feedback er'body!
     
  8. Bisabee

    Bisabee Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sister, I think that to a certain extent, the INTENSITY of this 'women hatin on women' thing is a relatively new phenomenon. Some people are just naturally petty in whatever time you live in, but I've been reading about this stuff going on with younger Black women. To SOME extent, I think it is connected with the whole business of a 'man shortage' in that other young women may see you as being better able to get the guy. I say this because of some the experiences of my young female relatives who say they get the same or similar type of reaction from some other women.

    When I was in my late teens and 20's, there were so many more men vying for a woman's attention until I and the women I knew didn't have time to be thinking about whether another woman was prettier or not. We had more men interested than we knew what to do with, so female jealousy was not the issue I've read it is now.
     
  9. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hold it, sister, I don't think I attacked you in any way, and neither did brother RED... I think, perhaps, as brother Abstract said in that other forum, that you are a tad sensitive... As I suggested - and I stand by that - I think this is a WOMAN piece, and that's why the sisters can empathize with you more...

    I guess it's relative in that guys are jealous of one another, too, just we express it differently, and sometimes a lot more violently... I would imagine that THAT is what would cause a brother Abstract to sound a tad contemptuous of the whole "they look at me funny" piece, because cats face far worse than a sneer... Hell, a sneer might even be looked as flat out punk ish, and perp totally dismissed as a girly-boyLOL!

    But, sorry if you felt I was insensitive...


    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  10. MississippiRed

    MississippiRed Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I feel what Isaiah is saying on this point.....Haters for men can be truly dangerous because they are more prone to show their haterism(yeah that's a word LOL) in a physical way than women.......men won't just not talk to you and hate on you to their potnas cats that hate are more likely to do just the opposite and get their potnas and bring that hate to you so you can see and feel it.......I've had a few scraps that were started by the haters because of one thing or another......whether they overheard their woman talking to her friendgirl about me (I wasn't messing with her she just thought I was fire and you know how yall talk) or dude sees his old lady giving me that look and instead of being mad at their woman they'd rather get their potnas and try to catch me slippin so they can put hands on me.....it's rough........

    Softly.....you act like you don't know me......glad I could make you smile......it ain't braggin if it's true right......

    Sweet.....like I said before ......killing em with kindness is great ......and if ya can't do that then just brush em off......


    Red
     
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