Black People : Do you hate me cuz I'm pretty?? A spirit of intimidation

sweet apple*pie

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
May 14, 2006
1,034
28
East Coast
Occupation
I am a student, and all though it is hardwork, it
It seems for the last year or so, I have been dealing with some issues of confidence and intimidation. It seems, as if alot of women look at me like they hate me, where ever I go, and I do not know how to handle their hateful glances.

I get very easily intimidated by peoples expression, and sometimes I am even unable to make eye contact with them, because they look so hateful.

I have a very good self esteem, and I love myself very much. But this spirit of intimidation is lingering over me, and I cant shake it off.
Any advice, or tips for overcoming this, and becoming more confident??
 

IfUComeSoftly

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Jul 23, 2003
807
12
i'ma peach
Occupation
PD for a Non Profit
i have to run out... however sister i shall return in a bit...

i find that a lot of the time people are doing that stare down when they are trying to feel you out... secondly i smile can cure a WHOLE lot... i smile at people as i pass them... typically people cannot help but to smile back.
and... when you carry yourself with confindence... when you think, no are CERTAIN, that you are worthy... a great individ... people recognize this and RESPECT... everything you need is in you... once you recognize it.. it will exude from every pore...

and brotha sefirot should be able to drop some knowledge... he's so wonderful on the introspective vibe...
 

abstract219

...standing on the shoulders of giants
MEMBER
Sep 21, 2005
2,482
525
Philadelphia PA
Occupation
Behavioral Health
In all due respect....
You may be "pretty"...or even beautiful....but maybe some women are picking up your label of "Im pretty" and maybe the attendent "vibe" you give out. And that maybe be causing them to react....I aint saying it's right, but that's how it is....

I would question you on that "good self-esteem" part tho....People of good (*I would use the word, self-worth..."esteem" is a estimation of self, worth is what you do) self-worth dont allow the negative vibes of others disrupt their day. The fact that you have feelings concerning others facial expressions, let's me know there is something deeper in your psyche that you must work thru.

March bravely in your day....don't be so outer directed. People do have the right to look and make their faces into what they choose. Don't let that be your priority. Move forward on your goals. It's much easier than trying to control other's faces......What is more important than other people's "looks" is your feeling of yourself in the present and moving toward the goal of your dreams.




 

sweet apple*pie

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
May 14, 2006
1,034
28
East Coast
Occupation
I am a student, and all though it is hardwork, it
Thank you for your words. They are appreciated.

To abstract,
With all due respect to You, I think you may have read too deep into my needed advice. I am in no way insinuating that I think I am all that, it is just a known fact that women deal with a lot of hateration. I am a very sweet person, hence the name "sweet apple*pie" I am a very kind hearted woman, and yes i have been told that I am attractive. To underestimate my esteem, or so called "worth" as you insinuated abstract, was not the point of this thread. It was simply to seek some advise, on how others may deal with this. You can have great esteem and love your self, and still deal with issues of confidence, and intimidation at times. I found your response to the thread to be a little harsh, brash, and insensitive to me, as a new member.
thank you.
 

Sefirot

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Mar 12, 2006
350
15
Chicago, IL/Atlanta, GA
Occupation
Teacher
If you fit the mold that many women interpret as "Pretty"-the one that they themselves don't necessarily fit-then you're going to get that hateration every time. Particularly if you subtract from the attention that so many Sistas require. Don't sweat it. Just continue to be you, and keep it movin.
You can't really change others' first impression. And even if you tried, I think you'd be considered "affected" or fake. I can respect the fact that you don't buy into you being "all that," ("even though deep in your heart, it really could be" :)). 'Cuz I used to hate on the ones who carried themselves like they expected the attention, as well.

Pics? :D
 

Sefirot

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Mar 12, 2006
350
15
Chicago, IL/Atlanta, GA
Occupation
Teacher
IfUComeSoftly said:
and brotha sefirot should be able to drop some knowledge... he's so wonderful on the introspective vibe...
I missed this entirely. I would have considered my post more intricately before dropping it :blush:
Thank you, Sis, for your kind words. I anxiously anticipate the reunion (union for me). Granted that it will actually come to fruition.
 

sweet apple*pie

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
May 14, 2006
1,034
28
East Coast
Occupation
I am a student, and all though it is hardwork, it
Thank you everyone, for you encouraging words, and a very special thank you to Algo. I appreciate your sincere and kind-hearted advise, sista. I do not want to return the ignorance woman place on each other, and I am in fellowship with the Lord, to overcome this minor set back. I feel confident that this issue is only a brief "season" in my life, and like sping into summer, it to will pass, and when I come out of it, I will rein out victorious is his name. thank you again.
 

queentswana

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Jan 24, 2004
7,007
162
Brick City
Occupation
day care provider (own business)
Hi Sweet Apple pie,
Welcome to our home of Love and Respect...make yourself at home...because you are.

You may want to ask a Mod to move this piece to "Open forum" or "Relationships" giving the fact that it's not a poem, yet you would get many more answers to the topic at hand, just my advice...
again, welcome aboard
 

galnamenikki

Member
MEMBER
Mar 9, 2006
13
1
Strut Ya Stuff!!!

Hi Sista,
Self-esteem and confidence are the staple of a powerful woman! I'm a "plus-sized" sistah, and my confidence is not short a dollar nor a dime...lol...I feel that I'm beautiful....I feel I have a smile to die for, and I flash it every chance I get....I often wonder if people look at me enviously, wondering "what SHE so happy for?"; you know? I know I'm intelligent, and I am not arrogant about it at all!!! But I also know I have the potential to be great, and often times I think I act in moderation from fear of over-shadowing others who are LESS confident for whatever reasons. I am that way in most areas, besides education. So, TODAY, my sistah, is my day that I decide to SHINE: FULL FORCE! I used to think that I didn't have a "significant other" because I INTIMIDATED the opposite sex by my hair(because I have dreds) or my weight, or my conversation....but I realize that I am a reflection of my creator and if that includes being full of confidence and self-esteem then I'm not gonna let others steal MY joy simply because they're not happy.... You do the same, sistah...
Shine On!
Nikki
 

Consciousness Raising Online!

Latest profile posts

I'll be honest. I like black culture forums, so I've signed up for this one, BX, and Lipstick Alley. I won't post too often, only on things that I'm really interested in. Nice to meet you. :)
Ms Drea wrote on butterfly#1's profile.
Hi Sister,
Miss you so much I hope all is well with you and yours!!
Love and Blessings!! :heart: :heart:
Implementation and Sustainment
You can skip rocks across water but if you're not building yourself up rock solid, you'll drown under pressure.
11-5-19✍
Fireman wrote on Queenie's profile.
Hi, Queenie. Love your posts. Even though I don't you, you must be some kind of remarkable and lovely person. Lets keep in touch.
Top