Black People : Do you expect people to use your "advice" or is considering it enough?

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Destee, Sep 19, 2004.

  1. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Hello Family,

    When you share your opinion with others, give "advice" to them ... do you expect for them to do what you say, or is it enough that they consider it?

    I get the impression that some folk get upset if after sharing their "wisdom" with another, that person does not immediately act on it.

    My personal hope is that a person will do what they feel is best for them, and if that happens to include any portion of what i might have shared, wonderful ... but if it doesn't, that's still wonderful.

    When you share your "advice" in this community, do you expect folk to use it, and if they choose not to, are you a bit peeved at them?

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  2. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is an excellent question Destee! I think this depends on the motivation of the person asking for advice, and the one giving advice. Not everyone who ask for advice is truly seeking it....often they only want someone to listen to their problem! Also some people who "seek" advice, are really looking for validation...that their actions in a given situation were correct (or that they weren't wrong in what they did). In other words, not every one who asks for advice is not always open to receive it (as contradictory as that sounds)!

    On the other hand not everyone who give advice is truly focused on the person asking for it. Quite often they listen to a situation, think about a similar situation that happened to them, and give advise the best suits themselves (not the person asking for advice). Not all advise is appropriate! Sometimes advisors tell people to do things which go against their personality or morals (which is never good advice). It is always nice to desire to help someone...and it kind to offer advice. However not all advice is useful!
     
  3. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I would like for someone that I've given advice to implement what I have suggested. Given the limited information that they've given me, I would give them the best advice that I possibly can. But, in the end, it is up to them to use it or not. I wouldn't get upset with someone if they didn't implement my advice in their particular situation.
     
  4. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Agreed Destee. You make some valid points, Pan. I try to consider to whom I am giving my advice to. For example, something you may tell an adult to do, would in many cases be inappropriate for a child. I wonder why someone would get upset if their advice is not taken. Hopefully, it is because they are worried about the person's welfare, and not because they feel that they are "above it all" so to speak....
     
  5. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

    i suffer from seeing things clearly.
    when i make a statement, i see it as being correct.
    i want my statement to be given honest consideration.

    no one has to "obey", but i want to be given a respectful hearing.

    if i can't get that, i'd just as soon withdraw from the conversation and spend my time on some thing else.
     
  6. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    When I offer my advice it is simple to lay out options that the person might not have considered before. I would like for them to pick out what information is suitable for them. If they can't or don't want to use any of it then thats kewl too. As long as I know I didn't sit back and let hem fall by not offering something.

    I am still learning and growing as well. What might work for me might not work for somebody else. Everyone have their on perspective of what the can handle and how much they can handle. So, It don't matter to me if the use it or not.

    Hold up! Ok. If the person is repeating the same pattern time after time without even trying something I suggested, and they keep on crying why, then I may get a little touchy about that. But over all, I don't mind if my advice is not taking.
     
  7. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It is on the person, if they take my advice as good great.

    If they take it is as bad for them great. It means that I need to correct myself and maybe I can learn from them.

    I just share and never think my opinions are absolute truth.
     
  8. KWABENA

    KWABENA STAFF STAFF

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    I always would like people to consider my advice.

    I will not give you advice and expect you to follow it, because if something goes wrong, guess who it all comes back on! But my advice is most of the time helpful. It shows that I care about you, and that I only want whats best for you. I will not tell anyone how to live their lives, or how to do things, but I can tell them to think about what I offered them. That is enough for me to be proud of myself, because I just gave someone my full attention. Whoever I give advice to should be proud because they got the attention of someone who actually cares. My advice is also guaranteed to make soemone feel better than they ever felt before on the inside.

    Cedric Denson
     
  9. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    uhhhh ... Brother Cedric Denson ... may i have 4 bucketfuls of your advice please? ... :wink:

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  10. MrBlak

    MrBlak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I only care about being heard out without being lashed out at or being told my opinion does not count. As long as someone takes the time to listen, I am fine. I rarely give advice unless I know I have something to offer AND the person has asked for advice, so I expect the person to at least hear me out.
     
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