Black Relationships : Do You Europeanize Yourself For Black Men?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Destee, Dec 26, 2006.

?

Do You Europeanize Yourself For Black Men?

  1. Yes

    14.3%
  2. No

    85.7%
  1. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Peace and Blessings Family,

    It's been suggested that Sisters "europeanize" themselves in an effort to get or keep Black Men. Even though this has been suggested, i've never heard a Sister admit that she does this.

    I was reading an article today, and it talked about this very thing ... saying that because Black Men want white or near white women, Black Women use bleaching creams, hair straighteners, etc., to get or keep them.

    Now, "europeanizing" oneself could mean any number of things ... i will let you all determine what qualifies.

    My poll above is for Sisters ... in an effort to actually see if there are any Sisters that will stand up and say ... Yes, i do this for Black Men, to get Black Men, and/or to keep Black Men ... Yes, i "europeanize" myself for this specific purpose.

    I am personally having trouble believing that Sisters are so motivated to have and keep a Black Man, that she is doing these things for that specific, express purpose. While it may be an added benefit, appearing beautiful based on current standards of beauty impressed upon us, i can't believe that Sisters are so weak, so pitiful, that they'd go this far to keep the very thing that comes from them! It just doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

    While we may have lots of opinion shared by folk, who believe Sisters are doing this ... i bet we won't have too many Sisters saying this is what they are doing.

    So it makes me wonder, in the absence of Sisters admitting this, how has it become such a prevalent opinion?

    Is the evidence going against what Sisters are saying?

    If you don't do this ... europeanize yourself for Brothers ... what makes you exempt (if you're doing the stuff that qualifies)?

    What can we do about this image of us ... so willing to change our very being ... to look like our oppressors?

    If it's not for Brothers ... then why are we doing this?

    I don't believe it's for Brothers ... i think Brothers may be an added bonus ... but something else must be motivating this ... greater than Brothers ... because Brothers come from us! Duh! How can we be so willing to go to such extremes, for that which comes out of us? It just doesn't make sense to me.

    Yall help me (Brothers and Sisters) ... and please ... if you're a Sister ... vote in the poll above.

    Thanks in advance and Much Love and Peace.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  2. OmowaleX

    OmowaleX Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I know that I will draw some consternation for this but I have grown very weary of these type of subjects and long for the day when these kinds of issues are resolved.

    I have dated Black women who were "Natural" when I met them, and after a few weeks or months they changed up and it had nothing to do with any preference of mine. I have been with women who wore wigs and hairpeices despite the fact that I ALWAYS say I prefer them "natural".

    The flip side of this has more to do with more upwardly mobile economic "progress" that Black women are making which brings them sometimes into conflict with "european beauty standards" which they feel pressured to adhere to in the workplace.

    Ironically, from what I have observed, white men tend to prefer Black women who are "natural" and darker-skinned and the few sisters in this category just aint looking at Black men...period.
     
  3. Riada

    Riada Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Destee, I have definitely altered myself by chemical straightening my hair in order to attract a Black man and/or to fit the image of the type of woman he wanted in his life. I have also worn high heel shoes to make my legs and butt appear more sexy to him. I've worn clothes that may have been too tight and too revealing at points in my life (late teens) because I knew that Black boys would look at me more. I've worn facial makeup like blush, lipstick, eyeliner, etc. to make myself seem more alluring. I've used concealer to cover up facial blemishes to make my skin look more even toned.

    As a Black woman who now wears her hair "natural"ly, I often get attention and compliments mainly from nonBlack men. I'm in a committed relationship, but it's still nice to get compliments. If I weren't in a committed relationship and If I were looking for a man, I admit that I would do what I needed to do to get a man's attention. Men are visually oriented. If a woman doesn't get his attention, nothing else will happen.
     
  4. OmowaleX

    OmowaleX Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It sure would be nice if everyone who posts to this has an avatar of THEIR NATURAL SELF.

    I hear a lot of talk but who is exactly walking the walk.....In NATURAL form.

    Most likely Black women who get compliments "mainly from nonBlack men" are not even paying any attention to Black men in the first place.
     
  5. Riada

    Riada Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm a married woman, so I'm not trying to get attention from ANY other man. I'm just saying who pays attention most of the time.
     
  6. blackeyes

    blackeyes Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Originally Posted by OmowaleX
    "Most likely Black women who get compliments "mainly from nonBlack men" are not even paying any attention to Black men in the first place."

    I am sure that's the other way around. or maybe these black women aren't paying any attention to bm is because they know what most bm want or prefer and it aint' no dark skin nappy haired bw. so they're probably just saying efff em. :bye:


    but no, I do not and will not europeanize myself to attract "black men". and when a bm say they like girls with long brown ponytails, I am like WTH!! but I dont' know if they talking about bw w/extensions or ww.:confused:
     
  7. OmowaleX

    OmowaleX Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    How do you KNOW "that's the other way around" when, for the most part, the "Black" women that MOST of us encounter on a daily basis are FAKE?!

    Again, you are making a FALSE generalization speaking of "most bm" when "MOST" Black men are choosing BLACK WOMEN.

    I challenge you or anyone else to support your statements with statistical FACTS.

    Who are MOST Black men marrying, when they do marry?

    Again, your statement does not accept responsibility for the choices that YOU make, freely, independent of the will of Black men.

    Personally, I wish there were more BLACK women such as this...

    http://www.conyadoss.com
     
  8. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Back in the day, wearing relaxed hair was a must, up until the mid-late 90's when more sisters started twisting and dreading their hair. Yes, I USED to straighten my hair to get the guys' attention. Not to say I felt I couldn't attract a man naturally, but I figured I would have an edge if relaxed & long; I was right.

    It would be foolish to sit here and say BW ONLY Europeanize themselves for BM. I know because there were times when I wanted a certain hairstyle and it required relaxing, and I was single and celibate at the time, not even trying to get a man. I believe a lot of it has to do with our conditioning.

    Seriously, I think a lot of us would like to go natural, but are afraid to cut off the relaxed hair out of fear of "looking bald & scruffy" for the first several months of growth. Many of us also believe the myth that our hair doesn't grow, and REFUSE to be both NAPPY & BALD. SMH.

    We do it for our careers, peers, MEN, and some of us just plain dislike kinky hair, no front.

    Peace
     
  9. blackeyes

    blackeyes Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    how do you know they are fake? what is "fake", anyway?
    can you support your statements with statistical FACTS?
    I do not need stats I have eyes.
    and now I see that no matter what bw look like, these men will always find something wrong w/ their appearance.
     
  10. OmowaleX

    OmowaleX Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you for your honesty.

    After working for 20 years in the school system I guarantee than most of the girls I used to teach were more concerned with PEER PRESSURE and the "hating" from other girls moreso than ridicule from guys.

    And this is coming from a former basketball coach who taught some of the most popular girls in my school who used to wear their hair all kinds of ways ("nappy", tied up, twisted, braided all kinds of ways and permed).
     
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