Black Relationships : Do we all settle eventually?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Solo, Nov 2, 2004.

  1. Solo

    Solo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I've asked this on a few different boards, but never here. I've been told the answer is "no, you just mature, your standards change, etc" but all that really means is that people eventually have to give up on some things they want in order to be with somebody. Some people call it compromise.

    It appears to me that the only way to be with someone is to either lower your standards, get rid of them altogether, or get lucky.

    What do you all think?
     
  2. seminoleBACP

    seminoleBACP Banned MEMBER

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    Yes, I believe that no one eventually gets everything they want.
     
  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    i spent time with numerous women and ended up staying with the one i liked the best.
    simple.
     
  4. indya

    indya Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Since I'm not a perfect person how can I expect the one I'm with to be perfect?

    I don't think I'm settling, just being realistic.
     
  5. toylin

    toylin Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well, look at it like this.. say you're buying a car. You really, really, really want it in black.... they're out. Do you A. buy another color B. buy another car that they DO have in black, or C. Tell them to put you on the waiting list and you wait for that car in black for as long as it takes........? A and B can both be construed as "settling" but option C can be construed as unrealistic.......

    That brings another question... is compromising the same as settling?
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    No ............ there are many who take it but no one perfect !

    Question.....is compromise the same as settling ?........yes it is.
    To compromise to a settlement of differences reached by mutual concessions
    or settle by compromise.
     
  7. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think most people settle. They look for a particular type of person and when age creeps up on them they settle. They figure that this is the best I can do so I better scoop it up while she/ he still wants me. Then through the years they wonder "what if". Then there are people who luck out and end up with someone that they really don't deserve. Then there are people that never settle for less and end up alone. Which one a person ends up being depends on what they are looking for. If you're being superficial and unrealistic...you'll probably end up alone. If your looking for simple things that make you happy and you aren't putting value on idiotic things...then you'll probably find what you need and more. If you settle because you think so little of yourself then you'll end up with someone but actually alone in your heart. I won't settle, but then again I don't ask much out of a woman but to be loyal, naturally beautiful and honest.
     
  8. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Why does it have to be settling? Why can't it be adjusting, learning and growing?

    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  9. msshay

    msshay Member MEMBER

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    I don't think there's a such thing as a perfect mate but I also dont think anyone should lower their standards (per say) but perhaps they should reconsider the qualities that are the least important and drop it from their list.

    As someone has already said, go out there and test the waters and as you continue to date, weed out the good and bad and you'll eventually find the right mate
     
  10. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think it's learning if you compromise because you actually realize how shallow and overly critical you're being. I think it's settling if you change your standards simply because you're getting tired of waiting for the right person.
     
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