Black Parenting : Do kids really turn out 10 times worse than you?

Discussion in 'Black Parenting' started by MsInterpret, Oct 9, 2011.

  1. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    When I was an adolescent I was hell on wheels when it came to my parent's raising me. My mom always said, and even up to this day, that my daughter is gonna be 10x's worse than myself when she gets to 14. That freaks me out. :confused:

    My girl friend last night was telling me about how her daughter is out of control and is 14. Sneaking around with boys, fighting, bad mouthing, the whole 9. Her husband and her found her daughter at a party coming out of a room with a boy.

    Another girl friend of mine's daughter runs away all the time and has a bad attitude.

    My friends were no angels growing up either...So I'm thinking is this like some sort of karma coming to bite them in the butt..

    So I'm wondering is this statement true? And has anyone else experienced this?
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    You know sister , they say that but it's really a myth to that saying because not all children
    turn out worse, it's moreso how you parenting them and from what i read of you
    your sweet daughter will not be like you was but better !

    I know for a fact i was a bad so n' so coming up but not one of my children turn out
    like me or worse because i told them my early lifestyle and instill in them it's bad and
    to do better be more and claim there rights in society, They doing well ....

    So it's how you raising them and what you instilling in them , watch she gonna surprise you
    with her greatness and awareness and not do near the things you did because of the
    firm motherly love and forces you have .......somewhere your friends slacked that allowed
    there child to stray somewhat......

    But sis Good Luck wit your baby girl and fear not this knowing you being a very good mother
     
  3. NyneElementz

    NyneElementz Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ms Interpret,

    It isn't like that. They don't end up 10 times worse than you. They do tend to act exactly the way you act, though, on many occassions. And you have to conside, too, that you're not the only party who brought the child into the world, so your daughter is not just acting like you. The "worse" part is just them accepting the misguided and mis-influenced advice, tips, and stories of friends, TV, and radio.

    In case this may interest you...

    My pastor gave me this info, and I see it happen with my son. I can't stop him from being like me, his mother, and his friends when he does act up, but I can discipline him and tell him the truths I learned from being the way I was. He's a good kid 80% of the time, like his old man, but when he acts up, I praye over him, discipline him, and then we usually end up talking about his behavior from 2 hours to two weeks out. And when we talk about it, I tell him the truth, because the more you hide the truth, the worse a child's behavior gets.

    Oh, and don't let them use that, "but you did it" excuse either. If you learned that it's not ok for you to have done it, let them know that, then reiterate that their bad behaviors are not ok.

    If you want things to get better, don't give your child the impression that you have been holy all of your little life. Kids respect a truthful parent more than they do one they think cannot relate to them.
     
  4. lilpea

    lilpea Moderator STAFF

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    Greetings MsInterpret...

    I must agree with the other two posters above...we all would prefer that our child/children be perfect angels. But we must remember, for a child to make mistates is a part of his/her growth process. Our job is to guide them on their journey. Remember they will fall, make no mistake about it. And in this
    falling is where we as parents get our dissapointments or joy..and that is a part of our growth process.

    I can see what your mom is saying...again take it as part of your growth process and deal with it. Dont let it upset or worry you. As a Grandfather of two female college students..I can tell you I'm still learning. I must admit that having my kids at an early age was a blessing for me and their Mom. Meaning we grow up with our kids...and not only are parents but also friends. meaning they trust us. And we've learn to trust them also. But we all know Trust is earned...it's not something that is just giving.

    I guess what I'm trying to tell you is, don't look for problems when or where there are none.

    Lilpea...:1on1:
     
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