Black Women : Do Black Women Know How To Listen?

Kemetstry said:
.o0( Wasnt that enough? )

I guess so if you thought it was, but I was thinking more along the lines of your own opinions on THIS topic as opposed to a conversation that took place somewhere else.

I must have missed the point about Black women and their ability to listen to Black men.

Sorry if I disturbed you... :sleep:

Queenie :spinstar:
 
NNQueen said:
But let me now ask you, what skills do you think are required for men and women to "click" and communicate better? What is it exactly that is required to begin to understand each other?
the NLP techniques are good.
i use them myself. i will echo back what is being said to me.

it is also accepting that a person may be different from you and not be "wrong".
an attitude that you do not know everything. someone else may tell you something of value.
i'm 63 and i learn new stuff daily. i couldn't do that if i thought i knew everything.
 
NNQueen said:
Brother Samurai, very thorough and scientific explanation. I've heard of NLP and have also heard that it's great for detecting when people are lying.

Precisely. It's good for identifying and referencing a host of human behavioral traits, from the people that you interact with on different levels.

I think you may be on to something when you suggest that NLP can help us to improve our listening skills. The challenge would be though (or is) that most people may not think they have a problem listening so they will never seek new information like NLP. These people fall into two categories: 1) Those that think they know and don't; and 2) Those that don't know they don't know.

This is why self-evaluation is so critical to personal growth and development.

So many people live out their entire lives acting, thinking, saying and doing things totally wrong and backwards, or at least counter-productive a healthy, happy, productive lifestyle, and never realize that they are doing anything wrong. Most of them them that they are doing everything "right", but never understand, or can draw the correlation as to why things in their lives (health, job, relationships, etc) are failing, despite all of their "best efforts".

The problem is all the more exasperated, when generations of people continue to teach these same faulty ways of thinking, and modes of operation to an unknowing new generation, making the failure all the worse.

Such is the condundrum that our people find themselves in.

Worshipping Jesus is not enough. Not eating Carbs is not enough. Driving a nice car, and buying a nice home is not enough. Voting at the elections is not enough. Saying that I'm "proud to be Black", or "our people need to rise up" is not enough.

All you are doing with that stuff, is akin to spraying a bottle of perfume on a person that hasn't taken a bath in 400+ years. You're only making the problem worse.

It was a systematic agenda that landed our people in the predicament that we are in, and it is ONLY going to be a systematic agenda that will get us out.

The tools are there, whenever we are ready to use them. Some of us have already put the tools in use, and we are ready to help others as they ask of us.


PEACE
 
First let me say it is good to back. I think I will be a regular again.

In response to the thread, there seems to be a fundamental truth that is missing from the responses about why we men believe women don't listen AND vice/versa. It is because of how selfish we are. One person can be talking about the color BLUE ; and because of the listner's selfishness, previous life experiences, and personal perspective the listener HEARS the color RED.

We (both men and women) have to learn to put our personal demons aside when listening. If we can decide that we will sacrifice what we THINK is important at the time we are listening, we can get much further. We end up arguing/debating because we think that what we feel/think/want is more important than anything our partner could possibly have to say. That prevents us from receiving those things that are important as information that could help build a solid relationship and makes us HEAR them as obstacles in the way of ME getting what I WANT.

Don't get me wrong; I know self-reflection and critiquing is very difficult. However, if we start with ourselves and allow our partners to express themselves honestly and openly with the expectation that they will be, not only listened to, but also tended to, the lines of communication will changed from dial-up to broadband and everyone can be heard and nourished.
 
A007 said:
Don't get me wrong; I know self-reflection and critiquing is very difficult. However, if we start with ourselves and allow our partners to express themselves honestly and openly with the expectation that they will be, not only listened to, but also tended to, the lines of communication will changed from dial-up to broadband and everyone can be heard and nourished.


First, welcome back amongst us, A007.

If you don't mind me asking, how precisely is what you assert here to be accomplished?

I personally am not a fan of talking about what needs to be done, without discussing how it should be done.

Therein lies the difference between prognosis and diagnosis.

PEACE
 

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