Black Relationships : Do black women and men want to unite? Or are we just tired of each other?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Genasyss, Dec 7, 2003.

  1. Genasyss

    Genasyss New Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2003
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    2
    Ratings:
    +2
    Why have we adapted and settled for all the negativity in regards to our relationships to one another? Then turn around and complain and generalize each other? Then run to other races as if it's that's going to make it somehow better? Since when is expecting better from our men/women become more of a burden than asset? What the hell is going on?
     
  2. Nfant_De_Milieu

    Nfant_De_Milieu Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2003
    Messages:
    144
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    Some of the problem is that we are being maneuvered to hate one another. In all the times I have visit the bookstore, I have never seen any maganizes covering issues such as Why White Women Date Black Men, White Men on the Down Low, etc. It is all about trying to divide and conquer us. Yeah, we have issues in the community but why are we the only ones being exploited?

    Furthermore, we often cherrish these entertainers, athletes, etc who are not the best role models instead of our teachers, elders, etc. Just my 2 cents.
     
  3. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2003
    Messages:
    10,784
    Likes Received:
    4,235
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +4,472
    good points genasyss and nfant...

    there are not too many people that can say that they watch under 10 hours of television a week...the reason why i say this is because this is the focal point of the mental conditioning that we have been receiving for the last 40 or so years...jim crow and slave masters are not needed any more because they are in our head...nowdays, brothers get snapped on after their girlfriend finishes watching a lifetime movie :lol:...until we stop trying to act like white folks and set up our own idenity, the fussing and fighting will continue...i've seen my parents seperate and i've seen my best friends parents seperate, living the american dream(which tends to be a nightmare for black folks)...this is only my humble opinion...
    one love
    khasm

    btw...welcome genasyss, i hope you bring some more good topics like this to the table :)
     
  4. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2001
    Messages:
    6,375
    Likes Received:
    1,430
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +1,862
    Welcome Genasyss. :wave: To answer your question, for myself, yes I want to and will unite with a Black man and I'm a sister. I don't have any data to prove this but I want to believe that the majority of Black people want to unite with each other. I also believe that we're learning how to do that even though it might seem that we aren't. There is good that can come from things that are bad. For example, the music and television programs that we often criticize for creating problems in our community also has the same community talking about ways to improve the situation. If nothing else, it has US talking when we might have been silent in the past. I firmly believe that some Black men and women are desperate to be together and are determined to remove any obstacles that might prevent that from happening so that our community will be healthier and more productive.

    But when does this commitment to each other start and where does it come from? Does it start when we meet a person? I think it starts when we first set eyes on that precious little Black newborn, if not when it's still in the womb. What you will harvest will be what you plant and nurture.

    I hope you enjoy your time here with us Genasyss!

    Peace!
     
  5. BLAQ LOVE POURAHTREE

    BLAQ LOVE POURAHTREE Nefertum Husia Shayheh MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2013
    Messages:
    1,039
    Likes Received:
    110
    Ratings:
    +112
    "When He and She is stranded in the darkness all alone stark in their lair or freed out of their outer selves on their own land to build an empire again, then may you ask the questions of uncertainty."

    (Diary of a Black Man: Just An Illusion) Copyright 2014
     
  6. KMeister

    KMeister Banned MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2013
    Messages:
    502
    Likes Received:
    31
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +242

    I suspect the issues between black men and black women for the most part reflect the "war between the sexes" that has existed for thousands of years. Women of all races will complain about men and vice versa.

    Some black men and black women have "run to other races," as you mentioned. However, I suspect many--if not most--interracial relationships are the result of America being a country in which people of different colors interact on a regular basis at work, school, church, in their neighborhoods, at social gatherings (online and offline), etc.

    Finally, it's not as if black men and women haven't been uniting. After all, 95% of married black women and 89% of married black men are wedded to black partners.

    KM
     
  7. Josef

    Josef Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2008
    Messages:
    857
    Likes Received:
    407
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Electrical wiring tech
    Ratings:
    +411
    Not all of us have these issues so maybe you need to get out more.

    I get tired of the thought that "WE" as a collective can't get along with one another yet when I do an evaluation of my inner circle it doesn't resemble anything remotely close to what is being pushed off as us having this self hate / crabs I'm a barrel traits.

    I can't say it doesn't exist but if we are to continue to have false perceptions that we can't.... then we won't recognize positives that most of us do on a regular...
     
  8. GodofTomorrow

    GodofTomorrow Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2014
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    27
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +27
    We cannot solve this issue if we take sides. Neither party were absent from the evolution of our society. These norms we have are just as much forced upon us as upheld by us as we complain. We need to talk about defining ourselves ourselves as Black men and women. Too long has every other culture told us what we are. Our habits and ways are appropriated and then sold back to us in a bastardized form, too ugly to recognize for their original beauty.

    There is nothing wrong with black men and women. There is nothing wrong with homosexuality or transexuality. These are in nature and so they are in us. Whether we want to change this about ourselves is a decision we make on an individual basis. I will have no one of any race dictating to me what to do with my body or how to feel. I will have no one tell me what comes natural to me (being black, having curly hair, being a man, being spiritual or effeminate at times) is unnatural. I do not let inferior creatures dictate anything to me. Only inferior creatures steal -- that is because they do not have what they seek.

    So, think of this: why is the black man "hyper"masculine? Why is it that we are the epitome of aggression and machismo, of paternal drives (daddyhood) and show? What standard is there in the world of men and who holds the title? Yes, exactly, it is an absurd notion. No one can tell anyone how masculine to be. The same goes for our sisters who are told they are "hyper"sexual. These are concepts that we embody in a way as well as concepts that are forced upon us by eurocentric practicioners. These are aspects that have been warped and used against us. Whose fault is it that black men and women are delicious examples of physicality? No ones. It is those who cannot control themselves with the problem. See: everyone else.

    Do not settle for their labels and intellectualization of our problems. Hold our black leaders responsible for spewing the same rhetoric everyone else does (eg rap is to blame for violence in black culture b.s.). Decide yourself who and what you'll be and what for. The rest will become irrelevant.
     
  9. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2013
    Messages:
    6,583
    Likes Received:
    2,894
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +3,317
    No, I don't believe many want to unite at all. They see greener grass on the other side, and seek reasons or excuses to leave others like them behind. Many, however, I do believe have gone through so much trouble with the opposite gender, they really do find better elsewhere.

    Black Americans are a unique kind of people, with some unique troubles within the community.
     
  10. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2001
    Messages:
    20,941
    Likes Received:
    5,245
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Chemist
    Location:
    Detroit
    Ratings:
    +6,127


    The grass is only greener on the other side, if you don't take care of your own lawn





    .
     
Loading...