Black Relationships : Do Black Females ALWAYS look to mate and create with the best PROVIDERS?

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Zim

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Oct 12, 2009
672
660
Hey Zim!:wave:

Here in the US in the not so recent past, it was a common trend for Asian women to seek marriage with white men over her own. Families in Euro Asian countries saw this as a sign of upward mobility.The percentages of MARRIAGE were higher than those of BLACK MALES MARRYING WHITE WOMEN and black women were not marrying at all, our numbers were pretty period.

Now just in 2012 along there has been an influx of media reporting that Asian women are now stopping the trend of their parents etc and now desiring to marry Asian men. This is due to the immigration laws being so lax and Asian's having the opportunities to come over to America for schooling and to eventually stay here if they wish. These Asian women seem to think and feel that the cultural practices of their people are far too complex for the spoiled "cowboy" mentality of it's white men. So, now a movement is being experienced to see marriages within ones own Asian culture.

IN the most recent past, many black men have procreated with white women or women who are not black and made a ton of babies, however, they are the least likely to marry white women. The percentages show that black men are marrying black women more than white women. It is with the recent census that the US just had, that there has been a significant increase in the number of black men who are marrying non black women and a significant increase in the number of black women who are choosing non black men (white men). Note the numbers for black women marrying white men are lower 3.9% while black men show an 8.9% and the numbers are rising.

Why? Is it due to the man shortage, a level of black woman's education in comparison to her black man? Is it inner black family relating issues? Is it that the black women make more money than her black man and it causes conflict? High numbers of black men being put in prison? Could it be that she just wants to try something new?

I personally feel that any woman, not just a black woman should be allowed to marry whom she chooses based on her own set of needs. For black women such as myself who are aware, I honestly tick back and forth over the issue. I have been involved with young men (in my early days) who were not black and found those relationships to be just a viable as those with a couple of black men I've entered into relationships with in my adult past. I have always wanted and desired to come from a place of LOVE everyone. We all bleed red. However, I must say that upon reading all of this very deep and insightful information on this site over the past 2 weeks, I am beginning to wonder if dating, marrying outside of my race is viable to my race? However, having asked that question I need to be honest with myself and ask myself is me being happy, well suited or well matched with a MAN, not just a black man, MORE important than me being considered loyal? I could look at it in such a way that, hey I have provided one black child to our cause, is that enough? To flip the coin again, how could any man who did not carry this culture from birth know it's ills and resonate with me on that vibration? He wouldn't understand the struggles, the pain, the assistance that our communities need if he weren't black (if he were white, the Spanish have similar issues) I often wonder what messages do I give my daughter about relationships and love? Do I lock her into "black loyalty rhetoric" or do I allow nature to run it's course and give her the power to choose her path in a mate? Something respectively, I had to fight against with my parents!

So many questions as a BLACK WOMAN who seeks a valid, sincere, loving, intense, powerful connection with a black man but who hasn't found one, but who keeps her eyes and heart open in the hopes that one day, he will come, but if he doesn't then what???

I didn't know that about Asian relationships. I have found this on wikipedia
Married couples in the United States in 2010 (thousands)[11]
White Wife​
Black Wife​
Asian Wife​
Other Wife​
White Husband​
50,410 168 529 487
Black Husband​
390 4,072 39 66
Asian Husband​
219 9 2,855 28
Other Husband​
488 18 37 56

I can say in England it is so prevalent that it is said Black people of Jamaican/Caribbean descent will be the first ethnic group to ''disappear''.

Consider that for a moment. No more African-Americans? You might say - it doesn't matter - some would. Most cultural groups want their collective legacy to go on I'd believe. Why instill anything of merit in your children? After all it doesn't matter once your gone... People have to understand it is just as much about culture than it is loyalty. Have a mixed race child and your mixed race child is most likely going to identify with his white side which means a white partner and within 2 generations your family is pretty much white. Culturally and Racially. Thats your name thats your legacy. Again some say - does it matter? Why reproduce does it matter? Why limit immigration from Mexico? Just let America become Mexico. The day African-Americans dwindle will be a sad day. Look at the sad state of the aboriginal populations of the earth and even the native american population - what's left of them but of course it doesn't matter. They will be forgotten soon.

Asian women do marry white women here and I understand this to be in some cases a sort of social class complex but for the most part they always stay within their own culture. It is not an issue taken lightly in some Asian communities. I have heard some cases of the women being killed for it. Its ironic because the only reason for Asians success in America is their culture. From the businesses they build - the heavy emphasis placed on education. They want to give up their culture and identity the thing that made them prosperous to begin with. I suppose In America - maybe it is easier to be Asian whilst identifying under the American banner and cultural ties breakdown a lot quicker than they do in England. But like you said - a steady flow of immigration reinforces these old cultural boundaries.

Why? Is it due to the man shortage, a level of black woman's education in comparison to her black man? Is it inner black family relating issues? Is it that the black women make more money than her black man and it causes conflict? High numbers of black men being put in prison? Could it be that she just wants to try something new?

I don't think there is one answer to any of these questions because they are highly personal and no answer is the absolute truth. But I'll attempt to give a generalized answer and my opinion? Shortage? Yes - so many Black men speak ill of Black women likewise so many White women want Black men(or so it seems) - Yes theres a shortage but it doesn't have much of an affect on white America because they aren't the minority. Does the Black woman get on a high horse when she becomes educated? Yep I'd say so.

The educational system does that to a lot of people. They get brand new and think they are better than the average person and that average person is Black. They'd rather forget where they came from. The money issue is an issue in a lot of households when the woman is bringing it in. This is a modern issue that probably causes conflicts in a lot of households. No man wants to feel like less of a man so I don't think its exclusively a Black thing. Prison contributes, I guess because we are minority and disproportionately incarcerated. Trying something new is also a reason because the media is pushing Black women to date interracially lately and to be honest Black women are going for it.

While marriage is a good statistic to use as an indicator I'd put marriage aside and just stick with the mate and create debate. Some people don't marry full stop. So maybe its not the best indicator but its the next best thing.

Ask for raising children. I think a strong sense of self - not an unrealistic idea of liberalism and she will probably naturally WANT to stay within her own culture because its what she knows. Its what most people do. If not, then let it be. Everyone is entitled to their own life. We would never murder our children like other people do. We have always been better than that.
 

Moon Child

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Aug 13, 2012
329
285
[quote="Zim, post: 755776, member: 23521" ]

Does the Black woman get on a high horse when she becomes educated? Yep I'd say so.

The educational system does that to a lot of people. They get brand new and think they are better than the average person and that average person is Black. They'd rather forget where they came from. The money issue is an issue in a lot of households when the woman is bringing it in. This is a modern issue that probably causes conflicts in a lot of households. No man wants to feel like less of a man so I don't think its exclusively a Black thing. Prison contributes, I guess because we are minority and disproportionately incarcerated. Trying something new is also a reason because the media is pushing Black women to date interracially lately and to be honest Black women are going for it.

[/quote]

Well for the record I am a very well educated black woman and MY nose is not in the air! I can't speak for others but this is me.

I wanted to be clear that my questions were my own, I shared them because I wonder if other black women have similar ones. They are personal and can only be answered by me, I do agree that at the end of the day, it's all about what will make me happy and feel fulfilled. Not to mention a man that will be an amazing role model for my daughter as she continues to grow.

I don't judge anyone for who they love and I do realize that if all the inter mixing continues blacks and the "other" will be diluted and maybe even some extinct but that is something that I can't worry about when I am dead and gone.

Peace and love~
 

Moon Child

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Aug 13, 2012
329
285

Wow! I saw this post Nnqueen and it was shocking!!!! I never knew so many black women were marrying and dating men outside of our race!!! It seems you hear more about black men in the industry dating white women! Who knew it was just as intense with the sistah's! Maybe this is the reason by black men are dating these white women? Has anyone thought that it may be due to black women not wanting them? Just a question.
 

Zim

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Oct 12, 2009
672
660
[quote="Zim, post: 755776, member: 23521" ]

Does the Black woman get on a high horse when she becomes educated? Yep I'd say so.

The educational system does that to a lot of people. They get brand new and think they are better than the average person and that average person is Black. They'd rather forget where they came from. The money issue is an issue in a lot of households when the woman is bringing it in. This is a modern issue that probably causes conflicts in a lot of households. No man wants to feel like less of a man so I don't think its exclusively a Black thing. Prison contributes, I guess because we are minority and disproportionately incarcerated. Trying something new is also a reason because the media is pushing Black women to date interracially lately and to be honest Black women are going for it.

Well for the record I am a very well educated black woman and MY nose is not in the air! I can't speak for others but this is me.

I wanted to be clear that my questions were my own, I shared them because I wonder if other black women have similar ones. They are personal and can only be answered by me, I do agree that at the end of the day, it's all about what will make me happy and feel fulfilled. Not to mention a man that will be an amazing role model for my daughter as she continues to grow.

I don't judge anyone for who they love and I do realize that if all the inter mixing continues blacks and the "other" will be diluted and maybe even some extinct but that is something that I can't worry about when I am dead and gone.

Peace and love~[/quote]

i'm not talking about racial purity or dilution im talking about culture. u can worry about it and set the foundations while your here
 

Sekhemu

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Jul 9, 2003
6,462
1,060
new jersey
Occupation
priest
I didn't know that about Asian relationships. I have found this on wikipedia
Married couples in the United States in 2010 (thousands)[11]
White Wife​
Black Wife​
Asian Wife​
Other Wife​
White Husband​
50,410 168 529 487
Black Husband​
390 4,072 39 66
Asian Husband​
219 9 2,855 28
Other Husband​
488 18 37 56

I can say in England it is so prevalent that it is said Black people of Jamaican/Caribbean descent will be the first ethnic group to ''disappear''.

Consider that for a moment. No more African-Americans? You might say - it doesn't matter - some would. Most cultural groups want their collective legacy to go on I'd believe. Why instill anything of merit in your children? After all it doesn't matter once your gone... People have to understand it is just as much about culture than it is loyalty. Have a mixed race child and your mixed race child is most likely going to identify with his white side which means a white partner and within 2 generations your family is pretty much white. Culturally and Racially. Thats your name thats your legacy. Again some say - does it matter? Why reproduce does it matter? Why limit immigration from Mexico? Just let America become Mexico. The day African-Americans dwindle will be a sad day. Look at the sad state of the aboriginal populations of the earth and even the native american population - what's left of them but of course it doesn't matter. They will be forgotten soon.

Asian women do marry white women here and I understand this to be in some cases a sort of social class complex but for the most part they always stay within their own culture. It is not an issue taken lightly in some Asian communities. I have heard some cases of the women being killed for it. Its ironic because the only reason for Asians success in America is their culture. From the businesses they build - the heavy emphasis placed on education. They want to give up their culture and identity the thing that made them prosperous to begin with. I suppose In America - maybe it is easier to be Asian whilst identifying under the American banner and cultural ties breakdown a lot quicker than they do in England. But like you said - a steady flow of immigration reinforces these old cultural boundaries.

Why? Is it due to the man shortage, a level of black woman's education in comparison to her black man? Is it inner black family relating issues? Is it that the black women make more money than her black man and it causes conflict? High numbers of black men being put in prison? Could it be that she just wants to try something new?

I don't think there is one answer to any of these questions because they are highly personal and no answer is the absolute truth. But I'll attempt to give a generalized answer and my opinion? Shortage? Yes - so many Black men speak ill of Black women likewise so many White women want Black men(or so it seems) - Yes theres a shortage but it doesn't have much of an affect on white America because they aren't the minority. Does the Black woman get on a high horse when she becomes educated? Yep I'd say so.

The educational system does that to a lot of people. They get brand new and think they are better than the average person and that average person is Black. They'd rather forget where they came from. The money issue is an issue in a lot of households when the woman is bringing it in. This is a modern issue that probably causes conflicts in a lot of households. No man wants to feel like less of a man so I don't think its exclusively a Black thing. Prison contributes, I guess because we are minority and disproportionately incarcerated. Trying something new is also a reason because the media is pushing Black women to date interracially lately and to be honest Black women are going for it.

While marriage is a good statistic to use as an indicator I'd put marriage aside and just stick with the mate and create debate. Some people don't marry full stop. So maybe its not the best indicator but its the next best thing.

Ask for raising children. I think a strong sense of self - not an unrealistic idea of liberalism and she will probably naturally WANT to stay within her own culture because its what she knows. Its what most people do. If not, then let it be. Everyone is entitled to their own life. We would never murder our children like other people do. We have always been better than that.


Ase.

Mixing with non-blacks has NEVER been good for Black people and Afrikan culture. Traditional Afrikan societies have become a shell of their former selves as result of the adoption of foreign customs and mores.
 

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