Black Relationships : Divorced

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Flor_Rosada, Feb 16, 2004.

  1. Flor_Rosada

    Flor_Rosada Member MEMBER

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    I know that I am kinda young to actually think about this, but my parents broke up with each other a couple of months ago. I am currently living with my mother. They have been together for twenty years. I really know that this is a mature issue but i wanted to know how and why do couples lose the love and passion they once had?
     
  2. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Greetings Flor_Rosada. Yes, it's a mature subject but certainly not one that someone in your position can't discuss. I don't know if there is one good answer to your question as to why people lose love and passion they once had. It can be any number of reasons to explain such a phenomenon. It's unfortunate that it happened with your parents. But you know, sometimes, even when people get divorced, it doesn't necessarily mean that they've lost the love and passion between them. Sometimes, people lose sight of it and let other things get in the way like hurt feelings. When feelings are hurt, some people will do anything to escape the pain--even divorce.

    Oftentimes, when some distance comes between a divorced couple, they can begin to quiet the noise bouncing around inside their heads, soothe their hurt feelings and discover some if not all of those loving feelings again. This might sound weird to some people but it's been known to happen when divorced couples remarry each other after a while.

    I think children of broken marriages suffer the most though. Many times, if not handled properly, it can drive a bigger wedge between the parents and force the child to take sides or at the least, feel like they're in the middle, which they often are. It's not a good position to be in, particularly if children are adolescents.

    I hope that your parents are able to remain civil with each and maintain their parenting roles even though they're no longer married. It may not hurt to participate in family therapy if someone in the family isn't handling the separation and new family situation very well. If you feel you need support and are not getting it, don't be afraid to ask for it.

    Stuff happens and people are "in" and "out" of love all the time. When being "in love" is viewed by those who think it's the primary ingredient in a marital situation, does it surprise anyone that the divorce rate is so high?

    May you prosper and live a long and happy life!

    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  3. Nita

    Nita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hi Flor

    I'm really not sure if there is one answer to your question.
    My husband and I are about to Divorce after ten years together.
    I still don't understand what went wrong.
    I think that's the most painful thing, I just don't know what happened.
    Funny thing is, I want to make it work, and I feel he does too, but I think he's ashamed of his mistakes...and he is just too prideful to say I want to come back home..(I made mistakes too),but I know...no I'm learning how to 4give and move on to better more positive things.I just know that today, there seems to be a whole different view of Marriage. See back in the old days, they had a whole lot less, but they knew how to take care of the home and family because many times that's all they had was each other. These days people are rushin to the Alter to tie the knot,and running even faster to loosen it((((Divorce)))).
    We have lost our values and morals.Nobody wants to try hard anymore.No one wants to suffer.
    We have accepted Divorce as a "Norm"....I myself don't believe in it, that's why it's taking me so long to go thru with it. My husband and I have been separated for almost 3 years.
    This is the most painful thing I have had to do, and I havn't even done it YET.
    It is hard on the children too. I know mine are suffering.
    I guess to answer your question, the devil is just busy trying to keep separation and destruction among families because he knows in UNITY there is strength.
    a HOUSE divided can NOT stand...he knows this.This is his goal.To divide homes.
    You just pray, let God hear your cry.Ask Him to allow His will to be done in your Parents lives.
    Ask Him to give them that love that they once had. Ask Him to mend their hearts.Ask Him to give you strength to deal with this situation in the way He would have you to deal. Just ask that His will be done.
    MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND ALWAYS KEEP YOU

    Nita :heart:
     
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