Black Parenting : Disturbing Statements from Preschoolers!?

Each1teach1

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Apr 9, 2008
1,118
980
the dirty dirty for now
Occupation
build up the nation
Skype
ebnubian
My son started VPK this year. We decided to send him to a well known day care provides vpk and since he had gone there before at a different location we decided to send him there. A few weeks after he started attending he started saying disturbing things. The first time was about a month ago. I picked him up from school, while driving home he asked me "Mommy, do we make guns in the backyard?". I thought "WTF!!?, what did he just ask me?" So to be sure I was hearing him correctly I ask him to repeat and sure enough thats what he asked. So then I asked 'what do you mean?' He replied 'Guns, you know the kind you shoot people with.' I said to myself 'wow. ok' I then proceeded to explain to him that we do not make guns in the backyard nor do we use guns to hurt our friends' I then asked him where he got that from, but ofcourse I knew because we certainly dont watch voilent movies with the kids around, we definitly do not talk about stuff like that at home and the kids rarely spend time with anyone aside from their father and I.

The next day I talked with his teacher about it. She told me that they were aware that some of the boys are pretending to make guns when they go out and play and that they are stopping the boys from doing this while explaining to them why this is wrong. She seemed just as disturbed as I was and then went on to say something along these lines 'Yes I am aware that some of these kids come from crazy environments, things just arent what they used to be.' I was satisfied with her answere but still disturbed.
My son was also coming home saying stuff like 'I want to go to jail or the cops are gonna put Ajani (his brother) in jail. The latest and most disturbing statement was 2 nights ago when at dinner he blurted out 'I want the cops to come and kill me.' WTF!!!? I almost jumped out of my skin. 'Where did you hear that at?' I was beside myself I could not and still cant believe he said that. So I went there and talked to the teacher today as it turns out there is a kid there the one he plays with the most that has been known to make obscene and outrageous comments.
My mom says we should take him out of that school because its too close to the ghetto anyway and there are other children there that I have witnessed saying crazy things that really shouldnt be coming out of a 4 year olds mouth. I dont know about that just yet. If it continues I will. My thing is that my son has never said any of these things before he went there and we just dont say 'anything' around the kids. So he is getting it from the kids at school. And if we did change schools it might get worse because alot of people dont know how to talk around kids and say anything. My sister in Chicago said that a little mexican told her son 'I dont have to listen to you because your not white!' in separate incident a little black girl said regarding my nephew 'That ***** was in my class last year!'

Has anyone ever had these kinds of problems and if so how did you deal with them?
 
My son started VPK this year. We decided to send him to a well known day care provides vpk and since he had gone there before at a different location we decided to send him there. A few weeks after he started attending he started saying disturbing things. The first time was about a month ago. I picked him up from school, while driving home he asked me "Mommy, do we make guns in the backyard?". I thought "WTF!!?, what did he just ask me?" So to be sure I was hearing him correctly I ask him to repeat and sure enough thats what he asked. So then I asked 'what do you mean?' He replied 'Guns, you know the kind you shoot people with.' I said to myself 'wow. ok' I then proceeded to explain to him that we do not make guns in the backyard nor do we use guns to hurt our friends' I then asked him where he got that from, but ofcourse I knew because we certainly dont watch voilent movies with the kids around, we definitly do not talk about stuff like that at home and the kids rarely spend time with anyone aside from their father and I.

The next day I talked with his teacher about it. She told me that they were aware that some of the boys are pretending to make guns when they go out and play and that they are stopping the boys from doing this while explaining to them why this is wrong. She seemed just as disturbed as I was and then went on to say something along these lines 'Yes I am aware that some of these kids come from crazy environments, things just arent what they used to be.' I was satisfied with her answere but still disturbed.
My son was also coming home saying stuff like 'I want to go to jail or the cops are gonna put Ajani (his brother) in jail. The latest and most disturbing statement was 2 nights ago when at dinner he blurted out 'I want the cops to come and kill me.' WTF!!!? I almost jumped out of my skin. 'Where did you hear that at?' I was beside myself I could not and still cant believe he said that. So I went there and talked to the teacher today as it turns out there is a kid there the one he plays with the most that has been known to make obscene and outrageous comments.
My mom says we should take him out of that school because its too close to the ghetto anyway and there are other children there that I have witnessed saying crazy things that really shouldnt be coming out of a 4 year olds mouth. I dont know about that just yet. If it continues I will. My thing is that my son has never said any of these things before he went there and we just dont say 'anything' around the kids. So he is getting it from the kids at school. And if we did change schools it might get worse because alot of people dont know how to talk around kids and say anything. My sister in Chicago said that a little mexican told her son 'I dont have to listen to you because your not white!' in separate incident a little black girl said regarding my nephew 'That ***** was in my class last year!'

Has anyone ever had these kinds of problems and if so how did you deal with them?

You have got to be kidding!

I'm so shocked! I can't believe it!

Well anyway, if you don't speak that way around you little ones then, it probably won't be an issue, but if the kind of environment continues to support that kind of conversation then it could lead to other behavioral and social problems coming from other children that they will have to deal with. I think you need to speak with someone like a professional in your family or community that will be able to give you excellent advice. What is a VPK?

I remember what it was like for me years ago when my children were that young and I did alot of asking questions. I called up certain people in the community and they were a big help to me. I did some big sacifices though but everyones situations is so different, it's hard to give advice especially nowadays with what the government has done. I decided to take my children out of daycare completely until they were ready for kindergarten and even then, I had to be very active and aware of what was going on. My children just missed the new wave of diversity with the influx of hispanic children that became emplemented in the school systems but as I was a navy brat growing up, I am familiar with the cultural distinctions with this kind of experience when i lived in South Texas, so that doesn't surprise me what you said happened in this regards. I know the frustrations and tensions that existed in this respect and hope that more African Americans will talk about it so that we can become culturally aware of ourselves and this will help our children not get drawn into that kind of trap that this government has provided by not offering programs to support respect amongst the hispanics and African Americans. In my opinion,this has to do with the 2008 elections and president Obama being elected. All I heard and saw was 'OBAMANOS!--and I knew it would be a matter of time in which I would soon be hearing racist statements against Africn Americans coming from this persepective. The only way to prevent conflicts though, in my opinion, would be to put pressure on the government and hope that there will be opportunities that will allow for cultural events to occur in which we can have respect towards one another from a cultural persepective.

I had so terrible obstacles raising my children during those years, I mean horrifying, but as i look back, all I think about mostly is the wonderful times. I became a stay at home mom and to this day, I don't regret it. Back then, I thought sometimes, my children were like a ball on a chain and it would never end, but now I think about those days continuously. It's therapeutic for me. I think about always taking them to the zoo, parks, pushing them in the stroller, trying to make them sleepy and ended up wearing myself out! I think about their first words, the first time they built up their blocks, the first time they walked, how excited the were when 'daddy' came through the door, ...I mean, it's heaven to me.
 
Thanks, Im monitoring the situation. The teacher said she would separate the two so we will see how that goes. As far as the cultural problems, I dont think its really that so much as people just need not to talk about inappropriate subjects around their kids. As far as the little mexican girl who said 'I dont have to listen to you because your not white' Its obvious what her parents talk about and aspire to at home. VPK stands for Voluntary Pre Kendergarten.
 
Yeah I've heard crazy stuff in schools where I've substituted at....The pre-schoolers have leggos and sometimes they'd make guns with them, but it's not allowed...and if no one is looking they pretend to shoot at each other...And all the teacher would say is, "Are you making good choices?" or "That's not a good choice."...all in a sweet little voice...The kid is probably thinking F off teacher...which I don't doubt.

Another time, this year in January, my friend's son had a white boy on the bus tell him, "If it wasn't for Martin Luther King I wouldn't have to sit next to you." (Something along those lines)...

I remember in the 1st grade I was in P.E. and some white boy told me to go back to Africa.

Kids (for the most part) are a product of their environment, unfortunately...And as they get older and spend more time (about 85-90%) in school, their peers become a bigger influence on their life. So they are no longer just learning it from home, but they are taking it home with them more and more.

So yes, if you see a problem like this, and if the teachers are be passive and dismissive about the situation, definitely take your kids out.
 

Donate

Support destee.com, the oldest, most respectful, online black community in the world - PayPal or CashApp

Latest profile posts

HODEE wrote on Etophil's profile.
Welcome to Destee
@Etophil
Destee wrote on SleezyBigSlim's profile.
Hi @SleezyBigSlim ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ... :flowers: ... please make yourself at home ... :swings:
Back
Top