Black Parenting : Disturbing Statements from Preschoolers!?

Discussion in 'Black Parenting' started by Each1teach1, Sep 29, 2011.

  1. Each1teach1

    Each1teach1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    My son started VPK this year. We decided to send him to a well known day care provides vpk and since he had gone there before at a different location we decided to send him there. A few weeks after he started attending he started saying disturbing things. The first time was about a month ago. I picked him up from school, while driving home he asked me "Mommy, do we make guns in the backyard?". I thought "WTF!!?, what did he just ask me?" So to be sure I was hearing him correctly I ask him to repeat and sure enough thats what he asked. So then I asked 'what do you mean?' He replied 'Guns, you know the kind you shoot people with.' I said to myself 'wow. ok' I then proceeded to explain to him that we do not make guns in the backyard nor do we use guns to hurt our friends' I then asked him where he got that from, but ofcourse I knew because we certainly dont watch voilent movies with the kids around, we definitly do not talk about stuff like that at home and the kids rarely spend time with anyone aside from their father and I.

    The next day I talked with his teacher about it. She told me that they were aware that some of the boys are pretending to make guns when they go out and play and that they are stopping the boys from doing this while explaining to them why this is wrong. She seemed just as disturbed as I was and then went on to say something along these lines 'Yes I am aware that some of these kids come from crazy environments, things just arent what they used to be.' I was satisfied with her answere but still disturbed.
    My son was also coming home saying stuff like 'I want to go to jail or the cops are gonna put Ajani (his brother) in jail. The latest and most disturbing statement was 2 nights ago when at dinner he blurted out 'I want the cops to come and kill me.' WTF!!!? I almost jumped out of my skin. 'Where did you hear that at?' I was beside myself I could not and still cant believe he said that. So I went there and talked to the teacher today as it turns out there is a kid there the one he plays with the most that has been known to make obscene and outrageous comments.
    My mom says we should take him out of that school because its too close to the ghetto anyway and there are other children there that I have witnessed saying crazy things that really shouldnt be coming out of a 4 year olds mouth. I dont know about that just yet. If it continues I will. My thing is that my son has never said any of these things before he went there and we just dont say 'anything' around the kids. So he is getting it from the kids at school. And if we did change schools it might get worse because alot of people dont know how to talk around kids and say anything. My sister in Chicago said that a little mexican told her son 'I dont have to listen to you because your not white!' in separate incident a little black girl said regarding my nephew 'That ***** was in my class last year!'

    Has anyone ever had these kinds of problems and if so how did you deal with them?
     
  2. Chevron Dove

    Chevron Dove Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You have got to be kidding!

    I'm so shocked! I can't believe it!

    Well anyway, if you don't speak that way around you little ones then, it probably won't be an issue, but if the kind of environment continues to support that kind of conversation then it could lead to other behavioral and social problems coming from other children that they will have to deal with. I think you need to speak with someone like a professional in your family or community that will be able to give you excellent advice. What is a VPK?

    I remember what it was like for me years ago when my children were that young and I did alot of asking questions. I called up certain people in the community and they were a big help to me. I did some big sacifices though but everyones situations is so different, it's hard to give advice especially nowadays with what the government has done. I decided to take my children out of daycare completely until they were ready for kindergarten and even then, I had to be very active and aware of what was going on. My children just missed the new wave of diversity with the influx of hispanic children that became emplemented in the school systems but as I was a navy brat growing up, I am familiar with the cultural distinctions with this kind of experience when i lived in South Texas, so that doesn't surprise me what you said happened in this regards. I know the frustrations and tensions that existed in this respect and hope that more African Americans will talk about it so that we can become culturally aware of ourselves and this will help our children not get drawn into that kind of trap that this government has provided by not offering programs to support respect amongst the hispanics and African Americans. In my opinion,this has to do with the 2008 elections and president Obama being elected. All I heard and saw was 'OBAMANOS!--and I knew it would be a matter of time in which I would soon be hearing racist statements against Africn Americans coming from this persepective. The only way to prevent conflicts though, in my opinion, would be to put pressure on the government and hope that there will be opportunities that will allow for cultural events to occur in which we can have respect towards one another from a cultural persepective.

    I had so terrible obstacles raising my children during those years, I mean horrifying, but as i look back, all I think about mostly is the wonderful times. I became a stay at home mom and to this day, I don't regret it. Back then, I thought sometimes, my children were like a ball on a chain and it would never end, but now I think about those days continuously. It's therapeutic for me. I think about always taking them to the zoo, parks, pushing them in the stroller, trying to make them sleepy and ended up wearing myself out! I think about their first words, the first time they built up their blocks, the first time they walked, how excited the were when 'daddy' came through the door, ...I mean, it's heaven to me.
     
  3. Each1teach1

    Each1teach1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks, Im monitoring the situation. The teacher said she would separate the two so we will see how that goes. As far as the cultural problems, I dont think its really that so much as people just need not to talk about inappropriate subjects around their kids. As far as the little mexican girl who said 'I dont have to listen to you because your not white' Its obvious what her parents talk about and aspire to at home. VPK stands for Voluntary Pre Kendergarten.
     
  4. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yeah I've heard crazy stuff in schools where I've substituted at....The pre-schoolers have leggos and sometimes they'd make guns with them, but it's not allowed...and if no one is looking they pretend to shoot at each other...And all the teacher would say is, "Are you making good choices?" or "That's not a good choice."...all in a sweet little voice...The kid is probably thinking F off teacher...which I don't doubt.

    Another time, this year in January, my friend's son had a white boy on the bus tell him, "If it wasn't for Martin Luther King I wouldn't have to sit next to you." (Something along those lines)...

    I remember in the 1st grade I was in P.E. and some white boy told me to go back to Africa.

    Kids (for the most part) are a product of their environment, unfortunately...And as they get older and spend more time (about 85-90%) in school, their peers become a bigger influence on their life. So they are no longer just learning it from home, but they are taking it home with them more and more.

    So yes, if you see a problem like this, and if the teachers are be passive and dismissive about the situation, definitely take your kids out.
     
  5. Each1teach1

    Each1teach1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thats crazy@ 'If it wasnt for Martin Luther King I wouldnt have to sit next to you' really white people need to stop teaching their kids this mess...
     
  6. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    I always deal directly with the parents. The only real and lasting way to deal with these things is to actually become a community.. And that only happens when we are willing to open ourselves up to eachother. I invited the kid that was bothering my son to our house.. Met his mother and we became friends.. She was single.. Working two jobs and just generally in over her head. Through our friendship I was able to help stabilize her and her son.. And our sons became best friends. Community is not automatic.. You have to work to bring it to fruition.. And it's my opinion that we will never ever be able to mount any kind of defense to the challenges that face us as a people until we start dealing directly with eachother.
     
  7. Each1teach1

    Each1teach1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thats a good idea, glad u did that James. We arent really 100% on who said this to my child, but the teacher has a pretty good idea. She thinks that its the little boy he plays with all the time and he is puertorican or white im not sure. Whatever the case I think I will get together with the parents and see where their heads are.
     
  8. Each1teach1

    Each1teach1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    When I took my son to school this morning, the teacher told me that they had a classroom talk about the Police. She told them what the Police do and that they are not here to hurt us but to serve and protect. Unfortunately me being realistic I know that this works better in theory than in practice when it comes to black people. Thats the whole reason I was so distraught when I heard my son make that horrifying statement in my first post. She also related to me that the father of 1 little girl girl in the class was killed by the police...and that another childs grandfather is an officer who will be coming in to speak to the class next week. So its great that the school is taking action to counter what has happend. Im just really upset that it happend in the first place. Its sad that we as black people are forced to confront such harsh realities for our children when they are so young. I know that this is just the begining for us. I have two boys and I know that when they are ready to understand I will have to educate them about and prepare them in how to deal with the police. :(
     
  9. Shikamaru

    Shikamaru Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Protect and serve government, yes.
    Protect and serve citizens especially Nubians ... the history of the US doesn't pan out on this one.

    According to at least a half dozen court cases or more all the way up to the Supreme Court, law enforcement has no obligation to "protect and serve" you.

    Indeed.

    Teach them the rules of engagement with law enforcement as well as what to say and what not to say with regard to a police encounter.

    It helps, in my opinion, to always regard law enforcement as an adversary during an encounter.

    Even greater than this is teaching them who they are, what their rights are, how and when to use them, and defend them.
     
  10. Each1teach1

    Each1teach1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This I plan to do definitly, can you explain the rules of engagement please?
     
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