Black Poetry : Disowned

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Nia Maishani, Oct 2, 2002.

  1. Nia Maishani

    Nia Maishani Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The last time I saw him
    I was 16 years old
    surely I thought
    after eleven long years
    he must have changed for the better
    time would have grown fond his heart
    I needed to forgive
    be forgiven
    and attain closure

    His answer to my heartfelt letter
    brought flashbacks
    that stabbed at old wounds
    the same old him
    barked at me
    from the page
    ridiculing my Faith
    that I'd related in the letter
    attacking my intelligence
    aiming derisive shots at my mother
    our past is all her fault
    and mine
    for I based my opinion of him
    on lies she told
    or so says he

    his response was almost completely
    a revisiting of the past
    except that it was one-sided
    and the single brief mention
    of past violence
    was glossed over
    and trivialized
    perhaps had it been him
    on the receiving end
    left with visible scars
    that took years to disappear
    his recollection may have proven
    more sensitive

    I can still see her face
    grotesquely disfigured
    upon her return home
    from her overnight stay
    in a hospital
    can still hear the argument
    that ensued the night before
    still wish I had not retired
    without seeking intervention
    for her
    his second wife

    He used to disparage my competence
    offered ridicule when I voiced my career aspirations
    but I didn't really want to become
    a black Coco Channel anyway
    so it's o.k.
    he attacked my virtuosity
    doubtless I would have grown
    to believe I was a ****
    but I recognized the contradiction~
    sluts have sex
    I was a virgin

    His letter spoke of his new wife
    his words reassured me
    it didn't matter
    that she's white
    but who said it did?
    boasted about his two new sons
    they are like his own blood
    and feel the same about him
    how well their little family is doing
    and how much he's involved

    it surprised me
    that I felt no bitterness

    one day
    I may find myself
    planning for matrimony
    for I still believe
    in the positive reality
    that there are in fact
    good black men
    who make suitable husbands
    in truth I believe I have met many
    but I face a dilemma
    a question left unanswered
    who shall walk me
    to the altar?

    Que sera sera
    I continue to count my blessings
    it could be true
    that an unfatherly father
    is yet still better than none
    as no one is promised
    the next breath
    so as life goes on
    I continue to live and love
    and embrace those who love me
    for they are indeed
    to paraphrase
    a familiar concept
    just like my very own blood
     
  2. Bishop

    Bishop Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    deep...but as long as there is breathe in both of you....reconciliation is always possible....Thank you for this....
     
  3. Legacy21

    Legacy21 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This was beautifully and selflessly written. How bitter you could have been in the face of such terrible treatment, but the divine spirit in you allows you to transcend it all. For this I am sure you will be greatly blessed. Peace.
     
  4. Nia Maishani

    Nia Maishani Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you Bishop and Legacy21

    Your points are well taken and deeply appreciated. :)
     
  5. elayne.

    elayne. Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    nia.


    this was one of those pieces that i had to read
    ...walk away from... then come back. it was tru-ly
    touching & extreme-ly heartfelt... & i couldn't
    leave a second time without telling you that. :)

    thank you for sharing your soul.

    itsallLove, chile.

    elayne.
     
  6. j'hiah

    j'hiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    whoa...

    poignant and definitely a bright conclusion...

    dun of poetz.
     
  7. Gaylee

    Gaylee Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ok, Nia, you are right, one of us is psychic, is it me or you? You wrote a portion of my part two "Reconciliation and I will still be there for you". Of course the reconciliation was with my parents also. This is a very well written story of a family situation that can often break someones emotional and spiritual back. You are a gifted writer, and a strong person. Thank you for sharing this piece with us all. :)
     
  8. UbZoRbShUn

    UbZoRbShUn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Nia

    thank you for sharing with us. this peace was very heartfelt and you are correct when you say
    "there are in fact good black men who make suitable husbands"




    One
     
  9. Nia Maishani

    Nia Maishani Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you, y'all Good Scribes

    elayne~ I so appreciate that you were moved to do so. Thank you very, VERY much, Sista Poetess.

    j'hiah~ Thank you Brother Dun for your words, and for stopping in. :heart:infinite:heart:, Bruh.

    Gaylee~ ...Sustuh...please. My peaces on Mama, Sister #1 and Sister #2 are in the werks as we speak. And see, I cannot wait to read you either on the Reconciliation tip--take it to that level, Scribe. SEE. We are soul Sistahs, Hunnie. And your support & encouragement is priceless. Thank you.

    Poetess Zorbie~ Sho'...you...RIGHT ma Sustah; I need NO convincing; I'm shoutin' I loves the Nubian King way too much to allow a few soured ones to spoil it for the Golden Delicious. Hallelujah!

    1:heart: Scribes
     
  10. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    VERY DEEP YET SO TRUE I'M FEEL U
    SOME NEVER CHANGE YET A FEW STILL GOOD