Black People : Discussion Etiquette Thread

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Destee, Jun 8, 2004.

  1. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Hello Family,

    With us growing every day, issues that were small, become big. For example, in the poetry forum we had to include the "Poetic Etiquette Thread, after 2 years of never needing it.

    I believe that the discussion forums have grown to the point that we need to consider a "Discussion Etiquette Thread." It would start with a list of "suggested discussion etiquette." A place for new and old Members to learn how we live. It's possible that suggestions can become rules, if necessary.

    We don't want to add new rules, but we must maintain the same levels of peace, harmony, and respect. How do we do that? Can each of us, individually, be responsible for our own behaviour ... or do we need more rules?

    Do we need this in order to have respectable and responsible dialogue with each other?

    What discussion tips would you share with other Members?

    Thanks a Bunch.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    reserving this spot
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    i agree and think it would be great to add it with the growth
    i'll return with a few that can be added
     
  4. MrBlak

    MrBlak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I am all for an open forum with few rules at all. Regulation can work to kill coversation quite often. However, if you think you must have rules, try to get people to limit saying that someones idea aint "black enough". The net is full of people of ALL ages who do that foolishness. It leads to bitterness and fights....as well as alienation.
     
  5. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    MrBlak ...you're right, the "aint black enough" comment generally incites, as do quite a few others.

    I agree, we want as few rules as possible ... which is why i'm presenting this topic to the Family. Is it possible for us to have civil, respectful discussions, ones that don't end up in name calling ... without additional rules?

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  6. Kannte

    Kannte Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yes, indeed. IMO, we already have that. IMO, this is one of the most civil, respectful, discussion groups on the web.

    I don't see any name calling. If there is, I don't see it that much that it stands out to need more rules

    We ALREADY have a rule, a PRIME - principle, fundamental - DIRECTIVE and RULE to govern us, and covers all, that is at the TOP of the forum:

    "We Are About Loving, Encouraging, Embracing, Teaching and Building With Our People. No Hate Allowed." :flamet:
     
  7. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Thank You Brother Kannte, unfortunately, the Moderating Team has seen quite an increase in what could easily be considered "personal attacks." I'm glad you've not witnessed any name calling, and it's our hope that none here do, but that's not the case. This increase is tied directly to our growth and something must be done, or it will only get worse.

    You're right, we have our most famous words at the top of the forum, but folk have written me asking, "what is hate?" ... how do we define it? We also have rule #1, which reads:

    1. RESPECT IS NUMBER ONE IN OUR HOUSE - Respect for yourself, each Member of this Family, their opinions, and the peace we've been blessed with. No personal attacks will be tolerated. If in our opinion, you are being disrespectful, you will be asked to adjust your behavior, leave, or be forced to leave.

    But in spite of this, the disrespect grows. The question has even come up, "what is disrespect?" ... how do we define it? One of the Moderators recently asked this question too, and this was my response:

    Defining "respect" and/or "disrespect" is going to be difficult for me. That's why in our rules it says, ... if in our opinion ... because there's no hard and fast that i can direct you to. I'd hope that you all have been here long enough to be able to "feel" the level of respect we strive to maintain here. I'd like to think it's rather consistent, even though i can't define it in words. I realize this is another one of those "gray" areas ... but it really speaks to my soul ... when we experience disrespect here. I'll think on this some more and try to present something clearer for you all to go on.

    Hopefully Brother Kannte, you can see the problem it is becoming, even though you've not witnessed it. So, i am looking forward to your suggested solutions! :)

    We need your help on this one Family.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  8. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    we must remember, the greatest over all good for black people will not come from a controlled enviroment...respect for fellow members is a must, but we cannot baby the discussions that are brought to the table...as long as there is no cursing and no name calling, i think everything else should be fair game...of course, people will say stupid stuff that exibits no rationality once so ever, i.e. (my rationalization for smoking weed ;) )...members should be able to say that the vantage point is stupid or makes no sense...i was actually accused of being peeps of the diaspora in a thread...lol...imagine that...we all have to defend our vantage point on a subject from time to time...a stated philosophy must be defended from all angles to be considered sound...this is just my opinion....
    one love
    khasm
     
  9. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother Khasm ... you make a great point, i agree, we cannot baby the discussions. For those who think this may be happening ... or is finna happen ... please let us know. Share all your thoughts regarding this topic.

    Let us all learn together, how best to move the community forward.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  10. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen!

    Respect is the #1 rule on Destee.com....it is what separates this website from similar sites on the web. It is necessary for intelligient dialog; however, to what extent should it be applied to political discussions? Political discussions are by their nature heated: Whether they be about inter-racial dating, abortion, religion, nationalism, racism, political affiliation, etc. When people care enough to respond to a political topic, it is usually because of a personal identification with the subject.

    Because of the personal nature of political discussions, If a poster disagrees with another poster's response, it is usually taken personally. This often leads to a heated exchange, it is natural occurance in this type of discussion. I am concerned that as moderators we are stiffling many political debates, and requesting that people behave in ways which aren't natural. I wonder are we misreading personal attacks? It is one thing for a poster to cuss out another poster, "F-you idiot". It is quite another for a poster to call anothers political ideas silly or even stupid. The former is uncalled for, the latter is part of politics. Some people are able to articulate & back up their statements with facts. Others can not do this, and only go on their emotions. However, both tendencies are necessary in political discussions.

    I think it is important for us to be able to determine when a member is truly being personally attacked, and when they are just being sensitive because someone disagrees with them (and they are unable to articulate an effective rebuttal). If a political debate is too regulated, or if certain topics are barred (inter-racial dating for example), then there is no point in having them. However if these debates are not present, we risk losing a large portion of our community....not everyone here comes for poetry. Please, let's think on this.
     
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