hey, i was out of commission and i missed posting and reading terribly last week. i know i missed y'all. and i came up with this today... *untitled #37* i can recall getting the chicken pox having one of the worst cases they'd seen i was so depressed and against my wishes (as i recovered) you took pictures of my scarred blistered body i can remember recitals, programs, plays that i participated in that i was featured in that you were too tired to attend and because those white kids couldn't sing anyway i remember worrying about you after you would call me at school venting about my father and how he is and your desire for divorce convincing me that i (your youngest child) was your only ally and worrying that it was my fault that time (the 2nd time) you attempted suicide and taking care of you and the grandchildren (my neices) you begged to visit you during my 8th/9th month of pregnancy (you were all miserable and sick!) and wondering why you're ALWAYS sick and wondering why you stress me so and wondering why you zap all of my energy and this time, when i needed you to help me in my recovery of my tonsillectemy and all you did was mostly sleep and stress me and make me sicker this is it mommy. no more.