It took a long time for me to see your face again And not want to run, not want to hide Because God has reassured peace inside my heart and in my mind... That place I allowed you to once manipulate and possess because I trusted you, I looked up to you, I saw success in you...You were my hero, you were my inspiration to write A lover's song when I despised love poetry, you were my joy when my cloudy skies kept my head low, not wanting to look towards the heavens cause I was ashamed. I was afraid that the instant I raised my head lightning would've Struck me into righteousness... As awkward as it sounds I wanted to do wrong, and everday YOU saw to it that I stayed in a position to need you, YOU saw to it that I followed you.. YOU saw to it that I didn't tell...I was sworn to secrecy, BUT I TOLD... ...I told my girlfriends at school that I was in love with a man. I bragged that a boy couldn't soothe a young girl's heart... What can two inexperienced adolescents do: Experiment? Yet, my man and I scatted words a boy ain't never heard of, can't put into action or express. It was like heaven on earth in my man's presence...like like... Pain meeting pleasure or was it pleasure meeting pain.. Just a lil bit of ecstacy that on several occassions gave me bits and pieces of what is now a stream of consciousness-- Dominant, Controlling, Agressive, Giving, Barter and Trade, Pleasure, Pain, Enduring, Neverending, Ecstacy, Cry-for-Mercy.. It was like Fire and Desire (Tina Marie and Rick James) But when reality hit and all was said and done, having completed his Operachun, I was stuck in a trance in between calling on Jesus and giving in to that wicked trend... ...Conflicting with an inner force, I cried for nights praying for Deliverance. --- Delivered.