Black People : Definition of a man (about DL BROTHERS.)

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by UPTOWNE, Jan 2, 2006.

  1. UPTOWNE

    UPTOWNE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The following are excepts from several responses on a discussion about DL BROTHERS. In the near future I will print the email debate I had with several individuals on the matter. However I must warn you that I have a zero tolerance for faggots (DL BROTHERS) and my un-wavering position may be more than you can bare. During the course of that discussion we touched on manhood and this was my response.

    In My Humble Opinion

    You asked me what is my definition of a man? I thought about this over and over and there is no one defining act but here is my shot at it .

    All through my formative yrs my mother had a great influence on what I perceive a man to be today (yes I said mother not my father) She always held manhood in some high unattainable esteem, like it was some great thing to be a man! She would say things like if I were a man.... I would do this and if I were a man I 'd do that, any male can make a baby but only a man can be a father, during the civil rights movement she said if she were a man she would speak up for this and that, and what she would not allow the white man to do to our people if she were a man she would not allow another man to disrespect women. and god forbid to lay a hand on a woman all these factors are what make me a man today Ya see I wanted more than anything to be a man in my mothers eye's someone she could respect!

    So I grew up thinking to be a man was something special, like a superhero! and since there were only 1 or 2 black superhero's so being a black man was really, really important! As a kid growing up in the south Bronx I saw all the pimps, pushers, hustlers, number runners, dope fiends, bums, wino's and the list goes on. I knew that I didn't want to be like them, I didn't want to even be like my father cause, she even unknowingly pointed out some of his less than manly traits.(she never spoke derogatorily about him but while pointing out what her vision of a man was I could see that he lacked some of those qualities)

    What I've tried to do with my life was to be a MAN, a hero for my people in the community, a good husband to my wife, a provider and father to my sons, a role model to others young men, a community activist, a spokesperson, a coach and a mentor. All of these things culminate in me and in my mind, but the one thing that stands out is protector of our women, a shield that they can stand behind to feel safe, someone they can run to when danger is about. As a black man no matter what, or who the foe. no black woman will come to harm in my presence! That's what a man is a protector

    One more point did ya see the movie "CRASH" did you see the pain of Terrence Howard's character because he did not defend his wife, while that white man violated her?(he was supposed to take a bullet or a beat down before allowing that to happen) I hope I am making sense here I felt his frustration and anger, but along with that an in borne pride that gives me the courage to stand up and step forward and even DIE for my sistah's! Too long have we hidden behind them. Too long have we let them protect US. Too long have we been quiet, while they spoke up,and quiet while our women were disrespected Our women should feel the safety of their men. These are (so called) grown @$$ MEN that don't have enough pride in themselves to step from behind our women and show themselves, for fear of what brunt they might have to take, because they are cowards. And to go one step further they are the dregs of our society inflictlng disease on our entire race! Some of you can stand by watch, say nothing do nothing other than vilify me for using a derogatory term (fagg*t) to describe their abhorrent behavior and not the soft pastel one (DL MAN) which they prefer. If my lone voice is causing pain for these people it is just a microcosm of what they are causing for our people. Finally, and I will say no more on the subject. I say to these males step from behind our women's petty coats stop being a fagg*t and be a man, BOY!


    But the real question is, do you live your life in service , or does it just make you feel good to talk about it?

    this is UPTOWNE baby!
     
  2. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    before you get too upset..........

    just how important is this topic?
    what percent of people are involved in this?
    my point is that it is a waste of your time to get all upset over something that a tiny percent engage in.

    my information is that 97% of Black men are with Black women.
    I'm not going to get too upset about what the other 3% do.
    if you have information indicating that this is any more widespread then that bring it on.
     
  3. Dual Karnayn

    Dual Karnayn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Interesting thread.........


    Uptowne

    I agree with just about everything you've said so let me drop a few points:


    My opinion of a man is just an adult male, plain and simple.
    I don't know if more masulinity makes you more of a man, but if it does then AfroAmerican men are the supreme of manhood. We have more testosterone, stronger muscles, and better sexual skills than any other race of men on this planet.


    Now the TYPE of man you are is a different story all together because some men are weak, some strong; some good, some bad; some gay, some straight; some dumb, some smart.

    I think the goal is to produce as many intelligent, straight, strong, healthy Black men as possible and weed out the weaknesses of our community.





    I also believe we should be the protectors of and providers for our women, something we haven't been doing a very good job of lately.
    But keep in mind they also must submit...yes I said it...themselves to be protected and provided for.

    In other words, if you as a sista want me to protect you when you get into trouble...I have no problem with that...but you must respect me enough to listen to me and follow my directions when I give them.
    You must keep yourself out of those circumstances that would cause you and me to get into trouble in the first place.


    If I say don't dress this way, don't go to that part of the city, don't hang with those people, don't talk like that in public and on television. I expect you to recognize the widsom in it and respect me enough to honor my wishes.

    But if you say: "Kiss my *** you ain't my daddy, you can't tell me what to do I'm a grown woman...if you wanna order something around you better git yo self a dog n*gga!"

    ((wipes egg off face))

    Ok....then don't expect me to put my life on the line and protect you.

    I used to go out with women who insisted on dressing and doing whatever, dancing all up around different men at clubs and still expected me to come running up on any clown that looked at them the wrong way.

    I didn't do it because they didn't respect me or themselves enough to stay away from trouble.

    So I agree it's our duty to protect them and both sides have to agree to protect and be protected.



    ((and Destee this is not an attack on the sistas....just making an observation of how to best protect them))
     
  4. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    my definition of an ADULT is when you think and take responsibility.

    i received a ton of programming as a child. i became a man when i sat and reviewed that programming and decided which i was going to keep and what i was going to throw out. when i took over responsibility for my current behavior and stopped talking about how i was raised.

    when i accepted that i have a strong animal nature and decided that i would monitor that and decide when i would act on those feelings and when i would not.

    the day that i stopped saying "the devil made me do it" i became a man.
     
  5. Dual Karnayn

    Dual Karnayn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    As far as this DownLow crap goes.....I think it's mostly hype.

    Sure people like that exist in our community and always have, they've always existed in EVERY community.
    Most men who are homosexual keep it on the down low.

    A great percentage if not most of the Catholic Priests are really homosexuals who joined the priesthood so they wouldn't have to deal with thier sexuality.

    So why is this being blown so much out of proportion in the case of Black men?
     
  6. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The supposed "concern" is from the rate of new HIV infections involving sisters who are monogamous. Like I stated in an earlier post, most Sisters can deal with and move on after finding her man to be gay, but HIV is out of reasoning. JMHO
     
  7. Dual Karnayn

    Dual Karnayn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Spicy

    I don't believe the majority of sistaz who are HIV positive contracted the virus from "down low" men.
    I believe they're getting it from normal heterosexual men who more than likely contracted it in prison and started spreading it when they touched down.


    More white men are gay and down-low than Black men, so why isn't it spreading as fast among white women?
     
  8. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Dual Karnayn......

    That's the same question I asked myself. There nis a motive behind the D.L. frame-up:
    1. To discredit black men.

    2. Possibly another way to flood Black communities with the virus

    3. Shining the light on us, in order to covertly infect other peoples.



    I wouldn't downplay it though. I had an EX, 8 years ago, who turned out to be bi-sexual. Never found out until I returned from the grocery store, took too long for him to answer the door, and his belt was loose, while his neighbor/"handyman" couldn't look me in the eyes. I rushed to the clinic faster than a Sista on a 50% off human hair special.LOL. Fortunately, I am negative, and I just had to turn Gabriel Union on his ***.

    That's the devil's M.O.......to creep in amongst confusion, and do his thizzle:argue:
     
  9. Dual Karnayn

    Dual Karnayn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Spicy

    Sorry to Lol....but you be having the funniest encounters with men....lol.

    Anyways, I'm glad you came out of that one safe and sound.


    I'm looking at the Terry McMillian situation and how she claimed she never knew her young lover was gay, but I and most other people could easily see he was fruity.

    I know love and attraction can blind some women.

    Did he give you any clues or signs before you caught him?
     
  10. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Dual Karnayn......


    He didn't give me any hard evidence. Although he was a little too much into alternative rock, and wore dreads with the seashells. Typically I go for NO earrings, no hair longer tham a fade, unless it's an afro. No bright clothes, and no tapered looks. Terry McMillan's ex was prettier than her. How could she not know, she looked like a man in drag, and he looked like a woman in drag.LOL. Some people just play the role too well these days. I was 19-20 at the time, so some of the wierd things were just fascinating. Good lookin out, Brotha.
     
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