Poetry Critiques : Decipher my dreams II

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Prizefighter16, Mar 7, 2005.

  1. Prizefighter16

    Prizefighter16 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    sorry guys, ain't been around much. here's something i wanted to post like last century.

    Decipher my dreams II

    When I’m livin in my dream
    You can catch me at a window
    Because I want to fly
    Right next to the sky
    And go higher than birds go high
    No one can catch me
    No one can see me
    I soar for the people who were made to die
    I stay forever asking why, why, why?

    When I dream I dream of lighting like a flame in the darkness
    There is no wind to expire me
    Cause lo and behold I am finally free
    You would be free
    My soul would be free
    Finally I can run outside and be me
    Refreshingly
    Spiritually
    Consuming everything I can see

    When I dream, I dream of mind scribing
    I am taken still with pages
    Pages and pages of black leaders courageous
    And there are stages upon stages
    Of apologies
    From all the people who wronged us
    Our ancestry
    I say finally
    Some reciprocity
    Can I have the mule and forty acres please?
    Too bad too soon I woke up from this dream

    But I also dream of taking thoughts like I sip hot cocoa
    As my friend says it, no more livin La Vida loco
    Gave away the prize Gucci, donated those Manolo’s
    Figured hey I’ll give away my things
    Just to wear them freedom rings...​

    That's the second part.
     
  2. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This fantastic vision of yours is one of beauty, ever growing, becoming a PRIZE in and of itself. As you continue to take ownership of your birthright, that of an artist, you will take us places where dreams evolve into what's real. Love your work.
     
  3. Prizefighter16

    Prizefighter16 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks 1poet. Yes as you can see i am a dreamer. But my head ain't too far up in the clouds. I'm an active kinda girl. So maybe the depth of what i'm sayin can be a reality.

    thanks for reading my poem
     
  4. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    this was refreshing, i must say....
    a black woman give'n up da gucci....whoa...thas a serious dream u got there...lol
    but seriously...this poem capture the visions that a lot of concious black people
    have nowdays....minus the brainwashing...i like the second part a lil mo then the first...
    but they both were on point...keep scribe'n poet...

    one love
    khasm
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    this had a dreamy visional maze to it
    and i really liked the concept of it
    no need to change a thing here it's a hit !
     
  6. Prizefighter16

    Prizefighter16 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    :cool: thank you for respondin.

    Khasm...lol, yeah i said gucci, because for some reason, people think thats all black women need. Some gucci will keep them good. But you know that don't go for all of us (some just want them sheets, lol)

    Rich...thanks for sayin it's a hit. i ain't gon change it then. i'll leave it as part II. Imma put the last one up now, and then, i'll be done with it, so to speak, lol:cool:
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    most welcome and continue to structure your art in this manner
     
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