Khasm13 : death blow...

Discussion in 'Khasm13' started by Khasm13, Jan 31, 2005.

  1. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    sickly i gaze at a bloody sickle blade
    wielded by the ghastly entity death...lurk'n and smirk'n in the shade
    thru the dingy alley ways i wade over slime the color of jade
    thinking...are debts in this universe always paid?
    the sweltering heat and the horrible stench cause me to dade
    but when the sun sets and the shadows expand...the light fades
    and blood wets the streets like water in an everglade
    at this...skeletor's barren eyesockets reflects the green slime haze
    is he come'n for me...cause i see he...or could it be...i have to protect the free
    the men and women unknowingly inflicted by the
    death blow by this cat that looks like destro from g.i. joe
    i don't know...veiwing multiple images of blood red snow
    i get confused and lose my direction on which way to go
    when out of nowhere...a woman with eyes emerald grabs my soul
    with a tight grip and hold...her lips grab my d!ck until it's swole
    in a barren corner temptation surfaces...while the night remained dark like coal
    the hooded being howls like a wolf at what it was seeing
    a mutt walks by...snifs for a second then lifts up his leg at a garbage can
    and starts peeing...
    all of my senses prompt for me to start fleeing...
    but before this thought was completely complete
    the womans legs turned to vines and trapped my frozen feet
    heat
    was the sensation that i felt
    heat
    was the deathblow that was dealt
    the blood that i saw earlier on the sickle was my blood...
    and the cut around my neck was so clean...the skin didn't even welt...
    as it fell into the bottomless crimson mud....
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    what a deep blow a real screamerrr!!!!
     
  3. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The setting alone was chilling, blood red splattered upon white snow, the picture painted was quite vivid. Flow on poet.
     
  4. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    you captured me as always and i love it when i go on a ride with you into your poetic vision ride....this was deep like wow yeah i see that suit shining:wink: tight flow like a movie if i may say....Angel
     
  5. gempis

    gempis Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    As always, Khasm, the insanely good storyteller. Nice job hurr, brothah.
     
  6. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Awesome example of Plot, Conflict and Resolution. Great Story. I really enjoyed the visual imagery in the story as well.
     
  7. guttapoetfromny

    guttapoetfromny Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    one word

    ASTONISHING...............................................WOW
     
  8. tzevi1278

    tzevi1278 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    whew, you got serious talent son. your pen is ill with the poetry. keep inkin' em, and i'll keep readin' em

    Lyr1c
     
  9. Poetic Justice

    Poetic Justice Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Mesmerizing!

    You are Deep, very talented, your poems are like cake to a fat child.
     
  10. moham

    moham Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Khasm,

    This was a tight piece.
    Some parts that got me:
    "but when the sun sets and the shadows expand...the light fades
    blood wets the streets like water in an everglade" and
    "in a barren corner temptation surfaces...while the night remained dark like coal"

    Regarding the whole piece, I have a interpretation of my own, I was wondering what yours is?

    gr
    moham:)
     
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