Black Women : DEALING WITH LOSS

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by Kemetstry, Aug 29, 2015.

  1. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Recently I had a conversation with an old female friend. She went to visit my frat house and say she didn't have a good time and wont be going there again. When I asked her why, because the date in question there was a well attended function? She said, it was largely because she felt uncomfortable being asked to dance. I asked why, because I knew she danced in the past. She said it was the idea of someone touching her.
    She went on to explain that she hadn't gotten over her husband dying two years ago. She had not gotten past another guy touching her. Please note that she is an elected official of note locally. When I asked her about shaking hands, hugging and kissing. She said that was different. How? Dancing a slow dance isn't dating. You dong kiss during it. She said men and women mourn differently and had different time frames. Guys take a couple of years. Women can take as many as five.

    Those of you that have been in this situation or know of similar, please respond. Is this true?




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  2. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    bot




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  3. Bootzey

    Bootzey Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Not everybody is touchy feelly. I'm not a hugger. I don't hold other people's babies, and I don't dance in public either. Not weird... Just don't like it
     
  4. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    nah, she using a cop out to excuse her real feelings.
     
  5. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Her real feelings? Please elaborate





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  6. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    she don't wanna be touched, she don't wanna be touched. has nothing to do with husband. IMO
     
  7. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Prior to that she had no problems. I knew her single. That, btw, is how she put it. She viewed it as a form of intimacy. She recognized that it sounded ridiculous. But she hasn't been able to get past it yet. Other people may have other things they cnat get past





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  8. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Great share Kemetstry, thanks.

    I think each person deals with loss and such in their own way.

    When my Mother passed, i lost it - while others seem able to take like losses in stride.

    It really depends on the person I think, the relationship they had with their loved one, etc.

    The words she shared should count and be respected as a personal piece of herself she shared with a friend.

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  9. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I saw my grandmother deteriorate and pass. I was there thru all of it. Thus it was anti-climatic to me. My sister and other family members lost it. She passed out when informed. Even though I kept her up to date every day. It got to the point some even asked me if I really loved her? I was clinical after her death. I told them, I saw her die every day. So I mourned thru the entire process.

    My friend, who is a counselor by training, said men and women process grief differently. She said it takes a guy at most 2 years. Women, 3-5.





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  10. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    :bs:
     
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