(1) Yes, and believe it or not, I still dream every now and then that it didn't end, or some how she came back into my life as if nothing ever happened. But one time a couple of years ago, I had a shocking dream that she suddenly came back into my life, got up off the couch and attacked me in fast motion while yelling at me, like a horror flick...all along she was topless. I seldom have dreams that wake me up in the middle of the night as I sometimes did as a kid, but this one did. That stopped a lot of my dreams I had off and on over the years about still being together with her. It was like a sign telling me to let go. It was very unlike her, and strange because we didn't have some final big fight that ended the relationship, and she wasn't violent at all, not even verbally. The few times I bumped into her after we stopped seeing one another, we hugged and asked how each others family members were doing, which made the dream even more shocking. Now I'm not saying I used to dream about her every other night, but since that dream, I have them less frequently. However out of nowhere, I did dream we were back together a few nights ago. It wasn't no real vivid dream, but we were a couple in it. In these off and on dreams over the years, I'm not saying it's like some romantic feeling necessarily, however it does feel a little disappointing when I wake up sometimes.
This may sound corny, but breaking up with her felt like that ending version of "The Wizard of Oz", where Dorothy was saying goodbye and about to go back home, and the Tin man was crying for the first time, or was it the Lion? But this time all four of them had a tear in their eyes, and we were all four of the characters. And there was absolutely nothing I could do, or she could do, to change this part of the movie.
(2) Only if she never had anybody else since we went our own ways, which was 1996, and that would be very unlikely. To answer this question, maybe in another life. I seldom say this about an ex, but I really hope she found the right man, because it seems like we were too good for each other.
(3) It would tear me in half, because I was the one who didn't reach back out when she did, and she did way more for me than I did for her. I really don't like thinking about anything bad happening, but I feel regret anyway for letting her walk out of my life thinking she could be easily replaced.
By the way, I'm sorry for the lost of the mother of your child. At first this response was going to be about my daughters mother, who has stage 3 cancer. Although we don't talk unless something tragic happens, like death in the family, I didn't like my last conversation I had with her at all when I was trying to offer my condolence when her older sister passed a year or two ago. One way or another, although we had a child, she wouldn't quite fit the category of someone you're describing. But I did want to make a thread asking questions like should you go to the services of your childs mother, if anything were to happen. With my daughters mother having cancer, I think about that sometimes. And I don't know if that would make things worst. From our last conversation, she gave me the impression that she wouldn't want me there. Maybe she would feel she looked cheap if too many ex's showed up. By reading your post, it seems like you and yours had a better relationship with hope, while my daughters mother was a mistake from the beginning, even before I got her pregnant. Just being honest.