Black Poetry : Day By Day

Mario William vitale

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Jun 6, 2017
255
20
Punctuation and structure leads your reader through a piece. It tells them when to pause, when to rush, when to breath. Punctuation and structure are the map for your reader, dispose of the carefully.

Now, this is my critique. You, as the poet, must decide what is of value and what to ignore. You are under no obligation to change anything. If you would like to discuss any points I have made, it would be my pleasure.

I look forward to seeing your journey.

take a distant turn
remember ground zero
when we lose control
light up a lucky flow
dismiss a time ago
the love and sense respect
When in Gillette
never will I forget...

a bat and a ball to make a dent
share with a neighbor
a tested friend
go hand in hand
key on hefty
sorted all the way venture;
learn to love
every day by day

Seek to find shelter
only to discover
to boldly go after
where a man went before
shape to find shelter
a rush to discover
tender your juices
a beautiful lodge
ovation, vacation & ex-communication
piercing skulls watch your skills
parade in a scent
hard to make a dent
deceived as in a whisper,
blow & brush
the common ego
 

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