Master of All Trades... Jack of None
THE FOLLOWING IS AN ACTUAL TRANSCRIPT OF THE DAVID STERN, LEBRON JAMES CONVERSATION THAT HAPPENED RECENTLY REGARDING LEBRON JAMES'S ACTIONS
David: Lebron,... Step into my office.
David: Go ahead... have a seat... get comfortable. I got some Vitamin water in the fridge. Want some? You might need some vitamins in a minute.
Lebron: Uh.. naw das aight. Look... Listen David. I'm sorry for walking out and not shakin nobody's hand. I was just upset. And I was tryin to protect my team too! Yeah! I mean, I didn't want to throw them under the bus. You know the reporters would be askin me about how bad they played, and what about my future here. It was just too much man. David, I'm sorry.
David: Lebron... I'm not here to talk about you leaving the game.
David: I could care less about you walking off the court early.
Lebron: Well.. ok, so what am I here for?
David: Lebron, let me explain something to you. There has been a lot of money spent, and a sizable vested interest in getting you and Kobe to the finals. You do realize that don't you?
Lebron: David, I'm sorry.
David: All of them Vitamin Water commercials, all of the Great Debate commercials and all them Puppet commercials cost millions of dollars and were supposed to lead up to the Kobe Lebron matchup in the finals that all of the fans wanted to see. And you failed! Do you know how much lower are ratings are gonna be because of this?
Lebron: Man... I...
David: Do you know how much money it costs to make all of them Lebron-Kobe Puppet commercials specifically designed for the finals (that we filmed 3 months before the playoffs started) that we can't use no more because YOU lost? Do you know how much money it took to train them voice over people who we were gonna use and host a WHOLE ENTIRE sportscenter show with the Kobe Lebron puppets?
Lebron, how much do you think we had to pay Doc Rivers to not play Kevin Garnett for the rest of the playoffs EVEN THOUGH HE HAD ALREADY COME BACK FROM THE INJURY AND WAS GETTIN BETTER (Which had him so upset that he didn't even want to come to the games)?
Do you know how much money we had to pay Manu Ginobli (WHO YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE GET INJURED IN AN ACTUAL GAME) to keep faking injuries 2 years in a row, and Greg Poppa**** so he can keep playin Matt Bonner (who is so sorry, he couldn't get no playin time for the Toronto Raptors) as their starting Center to make sure that L.A. has a clear path to the finals? You don't think San Antonio got rid of all of their 7-footers for no reason do you? Them Mutha****s all most put the league out of COMMISSION winnin championships. Didn't nobody want to see no Borin A*** Team every year! Man this is BIG BUSINESS!
Do you know how much money we had to pay Jameer Nelson to pretend like his injury was season ending when he could have been back before the playoffs (which is the reason why ALL OF A SUDDEN he is healthy enough to play RIGHT after this last series)?
Lebron: Look David, I know that we had it all set up this year man... I..
David: Lebron, when you slipped and fell into Pietrus and they called a foul on HIM so that you could get them free throws to go to overtime and get ANOTHER chance to win the game (which yall STILL lost), don't you think everybody knew what was goin on?
Do you think when Dwight Howard Blocked yo 3 pointer and the refs fouled him out of the game so yall could get 3 free throws, stop the clock and stay in the game, that people didn't know something was goin on? They even talked about all the messed up calls on ESPN!
These referees reputation is on the line (especially after Donaghy) and they have to be compensated accordingly. We did all of this, and you all failed. Kobe held up his side of the bargain because he realizes the importance of this.
Lebron: I REALIZE the importance too Dave. I did my best!
David: WTF is this the Small Fry Basketball League? I don't give a D*** about your best so save the kid commercial.
I have brought a few of my friends from Vitamin Water, Nike and a few league officials here so that we can get this straight ONCE AND FOR ALL.
Lebron: Oh Wait... come on yall. Come on now... I'll do whatever yall want me to do!
David: Lebron, we don't want you to do anything. Cause WE BOUT TO DO SOMETHIN RIGHT NOW!
Lebron: AH NAW... Wait a minute now. Violence aint the answer! Come on yall, U.N.I.T.Y!!! Wait... Wait... What would JESUS Do?
David: Fool, I thought you knew... I believe in Heru!
The Next Day...
Lebron Has Surgery On His Face
LeBron James was playing with a health issue through the end of the season and the playoffs, a situation that was taken care of Tuesday.
The Cleveland Cavaliers star underwent surgery at the Cleveland Clinic to remove a benign growth in his mouth, the team said. Dr. Frank Papay performed a five-hour procedure on James' parotid gland, which produces saliva. Surgery for such conditions often takes time because of the numerous nerves and blood vessels in that area of the jaw.
(read the rest)
HUH? A benign growth in his mouth?
Now you know what REALLY happened to Lebron's Face.