Black women raise their daughters and love theirs sons. It’s an old adage that I’m sure many of you have heard. Over all, how do you feel about that saying? How much truth is there in that old adage? I have always understood that saying to mean that black women are not as quick to give tough love to their sons as they are to their daughters. Of course, you may or may not agree with this depending on how you define “tough love.” However, I’m basing my opinion on my own experience. Both my wife and me were raised in single parent households with siblings of the opposite sex. Upon discussing the differences in how our siblings and we were raised, we both agreed that females in each of our families were raised under a stricter code of discipline. In my wife’s opinion, her two brothers suffered for that in the long run. One is in and out of jail with several kids he is not taking care of. The other has had a time holding down a job, and indulges in drug use. My wife, on the other hand, has become what many people would call successful (upward mobile or whatever you choose to call it). She has attained both of her degrees, has a career and a family. She attributes that to the difference in how they were raised. Growing up my wife was expected to get good grades in school, while her brothers received ok (or bad) grades. She also feels that her brothers were given more of what they wanted (starter jackets, Air Jordans and the like) without having to work as hard for it. She on the other hands feels like, she had to work harder for what she was given. My case was somewhat different. I was an only child until the age of 17,then my mother had my sister. In a way, it is as if we were both only children. I have had the interesting experience of observing the difference in the way I was raised compared to how Mom is raising my sister now. Needless to say, it is quite different. My relationship with mom seemed more open. Up to a certain age, we talked quite freely about what was going on in my life. I didn’t as much from my mother as my sister does now. I was also given way more freedom than my sister is given. Anyone in my family would tell you that I was spoiled rotten. Truth be told, beatings that I received by my mother were few and far between (I probably received more whippings from my grandmother). Despite that fact however, I still feel that Mom did the best she could raising a man as a single women. I think I turned out ok. College graduate. Never been arrested. No kids out of marriage. Married to a beautiful woman and blessed with a my son who is a joy to my life. So in my judgment, the way she raised me was fine (not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but fine). I don’t believe that the differences in the way Mom raised me and my sister has caused me to suffer in the long run. So here is what I’m asking. Is the difference (if indeed there is one) in how our daughters and sons are being raised helping or hurting black men in the long run?