Black Relationships : Dating More Than One Person

Asomfwaa

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Nov 16, 2011
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LOL...I try to be humble when receiving a compliment and some jokes are just jokes...that doesn't always imply flirting...When you joke with me, are you flirting with me? Do you wanna sleep with me?
Are you asking me?

*crosses fingers* ;)

When you told Destee that you were surprised that she has a hard time finding someone to date, were you implying you wanted to date her or bed her??
I plead the 5th. :)

No, but seriously, what I mean is that men don't really turn down sex. Like for me, it's no so much that I think of sex (at all) or that I want sex from someone, but if a woman suggests a good way to spend 5 minutes, I can give her 3. :D

And you're absolutely right, because CLEARLY not everyone's definition of dating and hanging out are going to be the same...But that's why I think it's important to make it clear on what your intentions are when coming into those types of situations...But for the most part most people already know what it is...

A boyfriend is something...Unless you just jump right into marriage.
That's the point. As far as we are socialized about 'the good ole days,' men and women dated strictly for marrying purposes. Case and point, you'd ask a Father for permission to date a woman. Today, if she has a Father in the home, you're sneaking behind old man's back.

For instance, how many of your dates have you introduced to the 'rents?
 

MsInterpret

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Apr 21, 2007
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Our people are good at heart. An Elder I know tells me "There's a method to [her] madness." It's the same for all of us.

Chinelo needs to remember "Bees come to the honey" and really if he investigated, seeing how you have a slow technique at dating, he'd probably realize that there's no harm in your dating multiple men. I think he's more making a statement on the sexual immorality of our race and the prevalence of diseases. And this is reasonable! I heard a man say he had 300 (?) local partners. When I retold this story to someone, they found it perfectly reasonable, affirming that they knew men with comparable stories. I dismissed their suggestion and they said that they had similar successes on vacations. In short, Chinelo is speaking from an experience where dating means "an excuse for a booty call."

Black-King needs also to remember "Bees come to the honey" but I think we should recognize where he's coming from. The Hebrew Israelites (?) literally speak like he does to Black women on the streets. I mean, for what it's worth, he's not misrepresenting on the internet or having fun anonymously, he's actually representing himself and his beliefs. That's an admirable integrity even if it's a bit harsh. So to say, if anything he's honest and that's a great thing in a person. What's more the Hebrew Israelites do have many women followers. Of course, that can lead to a separate conversation.
Thank you for your observation...it's greatly appreciated..

And I understand that there may be some underlining good intention to both arguments...They have went up and beyond calling us women whores though on narrow-minded assumptions...And after I have repeatedly said that it isn't always about sex they still lack comprehension because of their own individual reason.

But both having poor habits of talking to down to women...They don't know how to speak to women, thus I believe is their true reason behind their lack of having a better half.
 

MsInterpret

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Apr 21, 2007
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Are you asking me?

*crosses fingers* ;)



I plead the 5th. :)

No, but seriously, what I mean is that men don't really turn down sex. Like for me, it's no so much that I think of sex (at all) or that I want sex from someone, but if a woman suggests a good way to spend 5 minutes, I can give her 3. :D



That's the point. As far as we are socialized about 'the good ole days,' men and women dated strictly for marrying purposes. Case and point, you'd ask a Father for permission to date a woman. Today, if she has a Father in the home, you're sneaking behind old man's back.

For instance, how many of your dates have you introduced to the 'rents?
They were hypothetical questions, but you are free to answer...And I would be happy to listen. :p

My parents aren't open to meeting any of the guys I date LOL...I only introduced maybe 5...I won't introduce any guy to my parents unless I was for sure they would like him...I remember one guy I introduced to my parents when I was 14 and my dad and mom were like get rid of him....and I was like, but no I love him....WRONG! He was a total jerk. lol...we still laugh at him and his wackness and what I saw in him.

But I'm a woman, my parent's trust my judgment...And I'm capable of taking responsibility for my mistakes for the men I date....
 

Asomfwaa

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Nov 16, 2011
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Thank you for your observation...it's greatly appreciated..

And I understand that there may be some underlining good intention to both arguments...They have went up and beyond calling us women whores though on narrow-minded assumptions...And after I have repeatedly said that it isn't always about sex they still lack comprehension because of their own individual reason.

But both having poor habits of talking to down to women...They don't know how to speak to women, thus I believe is their true reason behind their lack of having a better half.
I don't know. The 'harshness' on women and the 'harsh' tone on Blacks is pretty popular in "Black Conscious" and "Black Religious" circles. And some women find the language appealing.

In Malcolm's autobiography, he let it be known that the other ministers thought he was a misogynist (Don't quote--I lent out my copy--paraphrasing) and that he should tone down his critique on women; yet Betty observed his harshness and still chose to love him and form a beautiful family.

I don't agree with men calling women 'whores;' but different people deal with different things differently.

For instance, I just don't deal with a woman who I know to be active with other men. Chinelo or Black-King may be more on changing their ways, saving them, or shaming them. In a sense that's how they fight the problems of our race. Some of us fight differently.
 

MsInterpret

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Apr 21, 2007
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I don't know. The 'harshness' on women and the 'harsh' tone on Blacks is pretty popular in "Black Conscious" and "Black Religious" circles. And some women find the language appealing.

In Malcolm's autobiography, he let it be known that the other ministers thought he was a misogynist (Don't quote--I lent out my copy--paraphrasing) and that he should tone down his critique on women; yet Betty observed his harshness and still chose to love him and form a beautiful family.

I don't agree with men calling women 'whores;' but different people deal with different things differently.

For instance, I just don't deal with a woman who I know to be active with other men. Chinelo or Black-King may be more on changing their ways, saving them, or shaming them. In a sense that's how they fight the problems of our race. Some of us fight differently.
**side-eye**

You're absolutely right...Someone women like to be called "whores"....and those women, let me speak more correctly...Those females have other things going on in their head.

I have disagreed and agreed with Chinelo (can't say Black-King) on many topics...He is a very intelligent guy, but his presentation on how he speaks about women has never sat well with any woman on this site...thus, his approach is not working here...and if what he speaks of is in fact true to him and his intentions are for the best, then it's time to try a different angle..

They say if it's not broke don't fix it....Well...it needs fixin'....
 

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