Black Relationships : Dating and Disability

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by river, Apr 11, 2005.

  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Brothas,

    How do you feel about dating a woman who has a disability?
     
  2. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What kind of disability? It depends. If she's one of those people that yells out curse words randomly...I'll have to pass.
     
  3. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Let's say she is partially blind and has a moderate hearing loss. Let's also say she is very pretty, has an hourglass figure, is intellegent and educated, slightly shy and has everything else you would like but except forr the disability.
     
  4. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I would say......dang that's a hard one.

    I don't think it would be that big of a deal as long as she wasn't bumping into streetlights and as long as she wasn't really loud because she can't hear herself. I'm not going to lie, I think some disabilities would be too much for me to take, but partially blind and moderate hearing loss is not total blindness and totally deaf. I think I could deal if I really loved her.
     
  5. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm partially blind myself, so I wouldn't have a problem with that at all! If the person we are talking about is yourself: You are a very beautiful woman River, inside & out. Both intelligient & sweet! I'm sure no brother would have a problem dating you.
     
  6. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    it would really depend on the chemistry.
    long ago i had a girlfriend who had a limp from a bad hip.
    we got to know each other because we were neighbors and when she moved away she kept in touch.
    soon it was a non issue.
     
  7. anAfrican

    anAfrican Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Oh! When you said "disability", I was thinking something a bit stronger than this. This disability would be a non-issue to me.

    If you want to talk "disability", try dissociative identity disorder (the "new" phrase for multiple personality disorder). Just about anything could "trigger" a "switch" to a different "personality", making for some rather "interesting" conversations. It was quite a while before I clicked to what was going on. Actually, I didn't learn about it until we had broken up. Because I still loved her and still wanted to know her, I took the time and energy to get to know "the system"; 10 "alters", including a 4yo, a teenaged street kid, a poet, an "administrator", a healer and a defender. Life was very interesting. And it was good for 10 years!

    It ain't what's on the outside; it's the beauty within!
     
  8. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Wow anAfrican...that is quite an experience!
     
  9. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    Yes... dealing with a mental disorder would be harder than dealing with a physical one.
     
  10. anAfrican

    anAfrican Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Actually, I had a harder time with her multiple sclerosis. What with her being a full foot shorter than I, there was bound to be a difference in our walking pace, but it was more than the differences in the length of our legs that made walks so painful ... for both of us.

    hmmm ...

    "Disability", or "disorder" ... River, are you speaking of a "disability" or a "disorder"?

    "Disorder" is something that is broken and less likely to be "fixed". A "disability" is something that one adapts/adjusts to.

    Either way, it is just a variation in a human's makeup. No more worthy of "discrimination" that the color of the skin. (I pray for the day when humans get over their shape-discrimination and realize that all Life is LIFE, regardless of shape, color or number of tentacles/grasping appendages!)

    (Maybe it's 10 years as an advocate, but, beggin' your pardon, Karmashines, that line just got me "bristly". I've seen too many people present that exact line with that "nose in the air" sniff that puts me too much in mind of the nami-mammies and their attitude toward "impaired judgement" on the part of "our loved ones" leading to their advocating "forced treatment" and such. (nami- national alliance for the mentally ill ... who absolutely refuse to acknowledge/accept that anything their children have came from them!) `Scuse; hit a "hot button" that time!)

    Peace!
     
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