Africa : Dating across the African Diaspora

Hello Monteg

From my experience (married to an African, friends to many Africans, and belonging to a few African organizations), I think the Africans you've meet do not represent all Africans in this country. It is true that many African immigrants who come to this country mostly have high standards. As they should, because most are highly educated, and have come here to advance themselves. However, I don't think most Africans are hostile to African Americans (despite what the media portrays). If you should a knowledge and respect for their culture most will look at you like a brother/sister
 
Hey would any brotha date me???? I think so, I think I would date a black brotha from ANY other part of the world...simply because even though we are brought up in different parts of the world and we grow up in different political, economic and social climates, i would like to believe we are all beads in the same necklace...different colours and some are big, some are small, different shades of the same colour but we all form a significant character in that string...i draw the line when it comes to dating white guys...but that's an issue on its own i suppose...
 
Hmmmm...

Now monetg (scorp), what you wrote upset me! True, the people that you talked to aren't representative of ALL Africans, but still...to know that even SOME feel that way is bothersome.

Now I'm very curious. Since I work on a large college campus, we do have all types of programs and curricula that focuses on Africa and Africans. I'm inclined to contact an African graduate student group to seek their opinions. They represent just about every African country so I should get a good cross-mix of opinions.

I'm happy to say that the ones I have met were always nice and respectful. I've made some good friends--male and female. Many have invited me to visit them in Africa and serve as my host/esse and guide. The majority I've met are from S. Africa (Durban, Capetown and Johannesburg), Swaziland, Uganda, Sierre Leone and Zimbabwe.

But you know the truth, even though I said I'd enjoy building a friendship with a Black man from a different country, I wonder whether this American culture could make that a difficult thing for me to do. I say that because I'm accustomed to being independent and speaking up. You all didn't know that about me, huh? :D
 
NNQueen

Awwww, Queen...you know we know...and respect it...and welcome it.

Well, let me put my spin on this issue. I must agree with monetg. Some Africans can be a trip about how they perceive us. I'd like to share two conversations that I had with two friends of mine...an African (Eritrean) and a Black American (This convo took place last night - 5/13/03).

At Wasthington State University (WSU), I had the opportunity to meet a large group of Africans from Nigeria, Swaziland, Mozambique, Zimbabwe, Rwanda, Eritrea, and Kenya. Black Americans and Africans socialized quite often...as it should be. As an Eritrean friend and I were discussing different topics of interest to us, someone brought up the topic of dating. She shared a conversation she had with her Mama about which men to date and/or marry from which region or country. Her Mama wanted her to date and marry someone from her village. If not, any African in Africa would do...except a Nigerian. And I asked...why? She said that Nigerians are looked down upon because they are selfish and manipulative...very conniving. (I asked another African male friend of mine was this true...and he confirmed it. He was from Swaziland.) However, if she was to marry a man from America, marry a White man. Ok...at this point, I sat up. Not jumping all over her for that comment, I asked...why did your Mama feel that way? She said that there was an Eritrean woman who had married a Black American man...and he treated her horribly. One Black man from America treated one Eritrean woman horribly...and you condemn ALL Black men in or from America? She said she knows that it is wrong, but that's what her Mama told her. I was shocked...stunned.

I had a conversation with a Black American friend of mine last night. She shared with me a conversation she had with an African. If I remember correctly, he was born and raised in Ghana but now lives in Sierra Leone. He shared with her his perception of White people and Black Americans. He believes White people are helping Africans in Africa. And, he also believes that White people brought with them knowledge...but that Africans were too ignorant to receive it. He said that Black Americans are ungrateful for the opportunity to be in America. She was blown away by these comments....so much so that she was 40 minutes late to her class. He went on to say that they are taught that White people have done so much for Africans (in Africa and abroad) but Africans don't appreciate it. She tried to explain to him that Black Americans are oppressed in America just like Africans all over are being oppressed. But the more she listed the injustices of White people, the more he became irate. So, she ended the discussion of White people...and initiated a discussion about what all Africans can do to make our situation better. From then on, they were able to settle down into a nice, friendly conversation about Africans worldwide.

In the African group at WSU, there existed a diverse perception of Black Americans between them. Some think like the brotha in the previous conversation...that Black Americans are lazy and ungrateful. And some understand the plight of Black Americans and that the struggle continues. We've got a long way to go...but we can prevail.
 

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