Black Women : Dark Girl Complex by Real Brother

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by Realbrother, Jan 9, 2005.

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  1. Realbrother

    Realbrother Banned MEMBER

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    Real Brother here.

    I'd like to thank Pan African for hipping me to this site. I'm a Real Brother who believes that the Black Race is worthy of preservation and survival. I am committed to the health well being and survival of the Black Race.

    That being said I and PA have a little debate goin' on that he wanted me to bring to this forum and I'm happy to.

    DARK GIRL COMPLEX (DGC)
    is an ailment that affects primarily DARK SKINNED Black women where they view dark skin as ugly. A DGC sufferer will NEVER under any circumstances date and or marry a dark skinned male.

    They find every excuse in the book to fall in love with and mate ONLY White and Light skinned men.

    I estimate that of the 70% of Black women who would be considered as "Dark" 30-40% of them are suffering from DGC. It's a very serious problem in the Black community because it eliminates 30-40% of Black women from the dating pool of brown and darker skinned Black men.

    There's already a severe shortage of marryable Black women in the United States and to be losing 30-40% of them for this DUMB reason is tragic.

    Pan African's wife is a sufferer , she's a beautiful Sista' who grew up in Africa but claims there were not very many Black men in Africa to date (come on now) , she had to come the the US and find someone extremly light to marry.

    This is Self-hatred and it's the number one problem we face a a people and it's time to discuss it.

    Oh and before you begin, men do suffer from Self-hate issues but men DO NOT choose their women. Women drive dating and marriage and therefore even if a man does have Self-hate issues (and 90% of all Blacks do) this does't matter as men can't turn down offers from Halle Berry because she's too dark.

    Dark Girl Complex is the topic of this dicussion, let's discuss.

    No Sellout.
    TKCAL
     
  2. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    most black people around philly have self esteem issues.
    the sisters have a real problem as they do bad things to their selves trying to look "good".
    for a minute in the sixties, it got better but now it's back to being a problem.
    the dark skinned women are lovely.
    my friend is very dark with nappy hair.
    i think she looks great!
     
  3. ambiguouslight

    ambiguouslight New Member MEMBER

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    Besides who they choose to marry and have children with, what other manifestations of DGC are there?

    It stands to reason that if they are choosing men based on lightness of their skin, they can choose friends on that basis as well. Does that bear out in reality?

    What about how such women treat their children based on the darkness of their skin?

    Has this complex gotten better or worse over the past sixty years?
    peace
    get free
    unlearn
     
  4. Realbrother

    Realbrother Banned MEMBER

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    Real Brother here.

    What's up Ambig ?

    I think yes, Dark Girl Complex sufferers will lighten their skin and put blond weaves in their hair and have nose jobs, eating disorders and other manifestations of Self-hatred that go along with Self-hatred.

    I don't think it affects their choosing of friends as much though. I've noticed that DGC sufferers will have friends who are both light and dark but will most covet their light friends while being envious and jealous of them at the same time. DGC suffers will keep both light and dark friends to re-inforce their Self-hating beliefs.

    Of course a DGC sufferer will NEVER date or marry a dark skinned Black male.

    Sadly, a DGC sufferer will treat darker children with the same disdain and hatred that they have for themselves but keep in mind a DGC sufferer would NEVER have a child for a man who is dark.

    I'd say that DGC has gotten worse in the past 60 years.

    No Sellout.
    TKCAL
     
  5. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    I would like to tell yall about my Beautiful darkskinned sister. She is the Sweet Black Berry that makes up 6 lightskinned Brothers and Sisters. I remember as a child we use to call her choclata, dark child, and a few other names that referred to her skin tone. She is a prima donna by her right. There is no issue with her complexion as far as I can see. She dates brothers dark and lightskinned, but mostly the dark Brothers.

    She has this essence that can be seen the moment she enters a room. The way she walk, the way she holds her head up proud and strong, the way she makes eye contact, tells all that a Queen has entered the room and mostly all the lightskinned sisters took notice and admiration to my Sister.

    There is no self-esteem issue about her complexion known to me, and we discuss this issue amongst the sisters in my family. I know she is but one, But she is the one who sparked the love for many darkskinned Sisters. She is the one who kept our focused off the lightskinned vs. darkskinned sterotype issues.

    I don't know many darkskinned sisters with complexion issues. I believe it is because I befriended Sisters who posessed the same spirit as my Sister. Proud, Beautiful, and a prima donna Queen!

    I'm considered a lightskinned Sister. I have an issue with that at times. I don't like when people call me that. It makes me cringe at the thought. I even had arguments about it. LOL I love me some dark Brothers, with the beautiful white teeth and the enchanting eyes.

    Ok, I know I went on a talking spree, hahahaha But I think more lightskinned Sisters have these complexion issues, more than the darkskinned Sisters do. The issue that I noticed about my sisters, is when someone tries to put themsleves above and beyond others. This is a trait that I see in more lightskinned Sisters, when observing the the skin tone of others.
     
  6. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I welcome you to Destee.com Real Brother, although I question your message, its delivery, and your motivations. As Real Brother stated, this is a debate which has been carried from another website, and I invited him to bring it here. Real Brother has presented a theory, “DGC”, as if it is a new creation of his own. In reality, he is trying to make an analysis of the color complex, which has been identified and studied by black sociologist & scientist for at least 100 years. There have been dozens of books written on the subject like “The Color Complex: The Politics of Skin Color Among African Americans” by Dr. Midge Wilson and Ronald Hall. Skin Color prejudice dates back to slavery, and it affects a number of African Americans. Skin Color prejudice applies to a variety of hues: from dark skin to brown skin to light skin. The color complex affects both men and women (as well as children and adults). A valid attempt to study the color complex can not focus on one particular hue (in this case dark skin). It certainly can not focus on one particular gender (females). Any attempt to focus on one aspect of the color complex, while ignoring the contributing factors, is suspect at the least.

    When scholars study/examine the theories of others, they check the methods & sources on which conclusions (statements) are based. An examination of Real Brother’s methodology for his “DGC” theory reveals fatal flaws. His basis for determining the percentage of dark skinned women suffering from “DGC” is taken from government statistics on inter-racial dating/marriage. From this list Real Brother draws a conclusion that all of these women hate their “dark” skin. This is a flawed & superficial method of obtaining data. There are a number of incorrect assumptions drawn from this method: The first is that all of these black women that date/marry out of their race are dark skinned. The type of black women who date/marry non-black men are dark, brown, light, and in between these three! The motivations of these woman for dating outside of their race could be any number of reasons (including hating the black race period, irregardless of complexion). However no reason could be assumed without a detailed interview of every woman in question.

    This is the second incorrect assumption of Real Brother's “DGC” theory. He assumes every dark skinned woman with a light skinned black man or white man, suffers from “DGC”. Thus his belief that my wife suffers from "DGC". Real Brother has never met my wife, and knows nothing about her (even incorrectly stating she grew up in Africa, when I stated she was born in Spain to African parents). However seeing that she is a dark woman with a light skinned black man, he automatically assumes that she is a victim of his theory. Indeed Real Brother makes no distinction between light skinned black men & white men! He lumps both together and assumes any dark black women that dates men lighter than themselves, suffers from self hatred. The only way to actually make this determination is to interview the particular women in question. Real Brother does not even attempt to do this.

    It is also impossible to study the Color Complex without examining its affect of women & men. Real Brother concentrates almost exclusively on the black woman (which is inherent in his theory's title), as if the color complex effects on black men is irrelevant. Any attempt to do focus on one gender or one skin tone oversimplifies the issue of color complex, and as a result does little towards understanding (or solving) the problem! Real Brother’s “DGC” theory is not based on a scientific or historical analysis. It constantly substitutes opinions for facts, and uses assumptions for observations. It also does not present solutions for this “believed” problem. As a result “DGC” is an invalid theory, presented with amateurish methodology & questionable conclusions. Indeed the portion of Ronk’s theory that has some validity, which is that some dark skinned women have a complex about their appearance, has been said before (and better) by other black social scientists.

    I outright question someone that claims to be commited to the health and well being of the black race, yet promotes ideas which are divisive to the black community. I hope on this website you discover better methods to achieve the goals which you express!
     
  7. Realbrother

    Realbrother Banned MEMBER

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    Real Brother here.

    Pan African is a little upset because he is married to a Sista' who I feel suffers from Dark Girl Complex. I admire his defense of his wife and we need more Brothers to stand up for the Sista's like this. But the facts are all there supporting her affliction. She's from Africa but yet doesn't date Black men who are dark. She's married an extreamly light skinned Brother who doesn't have a clue as to the hatred that is DGC.

    Let me deal with Pans concerns.

    No this topic has NOT been written about and or dicussed. Pan knows good and well that no one has ever written on Dark Girl Complex to suggest that others have is to lie. I even acknowlege that "general" Black Self-hatred that goes on and the Self-Hate, Sellout Mentality that has 90% of ALL BLACKS thinking of the Black Race as genetically inferior, but this ailment affects ONLY DARK SKINNED BLACK WOMEN and as such needs to be studied separately.

    Dark skinned men do NOT have problems dating and sexing and marrying dark skinned women. Black men who have Self-hate issues will marry White women but they will NOT marry someone Black when and if they HATE BLACK SKIN and view it as ugly. Women view their LOOKS as their self-worth men don't.

    Pan keeps calling my Thesis a "Color Complex" and he has no right to name "Dark GIRL Complex" a Color Complex when it's not. It's specific to Dark Skinned Black women. He wants to scapegoat DGC by suggesting the Black men who play in the outfield for the San Francisco Giants have a tendency to Sellout with White women, it's unfair as that's a different malady.

    You can talk about Cancer without HAVING to talk about Heart Disease.

    I never wanted to "dicuss" the contributing factors to DGC but if we have to we can. 450 years of Slavery, Oppression, Descrimination and Racism has caused many Blacks to HATE THEMSELVES and think of Whites and Mulattos as Superior this is a factor. But I reject the notion that you can't talk about Drunk Drivers without explaining WHY someone gets drunk and drives.

    I don't see a problem with using data from the US Census that suggests that 30% of BW date outside of the Black Race and using that to conclude that a percentage of those women suffer from DGC. It would be like taking the statistics of suicides and then determining that a percentage of those who KILL THEMSELVES, hate themselves. I don't have a problem with concluding that 30-40% of Dark Skinned Black women who exclusively date and marry Whites and Mulattos suffer from Dark Girl Complex.

    And no, I fully understand that Mulattos do indeed marry and date Whites and other Mullattos, they can NOT be diagnosed with DGC for one they aren't DARK this disease only affects Dark Black women it's a dislike for DARK SKIN because they feel that dark skin is ugly. So Mullattos can Sellout by dating outside of the Black Race but they do not by and large suffer from DGC.

    It would be silly and is a cop out to suggest that each and every DARK SKINNED Black woman who dates only White and Mullatto men would have to be interviewed before we can find out whether or not they have DGC. First of all they would simply lie, many don't know the suffer and thirdly what better way to tell if they PREFER Light skin to their own then LOOKING at their skin and then the skin of who they marry ?

    It's like questioning that those who own Toyota's prefer them over Honda's and instead of popping open the garage and seeing whether they have a Toyota or Honda we want to "interview" the owners to see if they have a Honda because they don't like Toyota's or if they have a Honda because they really want a Toyota. It's silly. People marry who the WANT to marry and that's the best way to tell who they WANTED to marry based on WHO THEY MARRIED.

    Again, I don't have to "Know" his dark skinned wife to know that here's a dark skinned woman with a Mulatto who claims that she was forced to marry someone very light because she grew up in Spain and there are no mirrors in Spain and so she never knew she was darker then 12:01 Midnight.

    Please.

    Pan's wife knew exactly how dark skinned she was and she purposely set out to breed the "Black" genes out of her genepool and Pan was a willing participant.

    And no I know the difference between a Mulattoo man and a White one, and so does Pans wife. But this marraige was NOT about White man vs. Black man this was about LIGHT SKIN vs. Dark any man that would have given Pans wife light skinned babies with good hair would do.

    The problem will be if the children come out too dark.

    And Pan is trying to make his argument by saying I haven't "interviewed" all the Jews who were killed so how could I determine that Hitler hated them and its' silly. Has anyone interviewed EVERYONE in the world ? Why would I be held to a standard that no other researcher is ? People do polls and studies with only 1,000 subjects. I have 100 million Self-hating Black women over 450 years who have been trying to breed the Black out of their genepool and yet my research is invalid because there are 900 million more that I haven't interviewed ?

    Come on now.

    I already addressed the men issue and the heart disease issue. And we can't dicuss solutions to DGC until we acknowledge it's existence. Finding a cure for Cancer is NOT necessary to diagnose it.

    Again, just like at BV's you have failed to debunk my Thesis Pan. The bottomline is Dark Girl Complex eliminates 30-40% of the potiential mates of Black men. We must address this issue.

    No Sellout
    TKCAL
     
  8. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Real Brother:

    I am still trying to determine how you decide when a women suffers from "DGC". You are convinced that my wife is suffering from "DGC". You have reached this conclusion not because you are aware of her personal dating history (or even know her personally), but from looking at a picture of her with a light skinned black man? Do you have an innate ability to recognize "DGC" victims, no questions asked? Under your theory are the following the following famous black female activist victims of “DGC”:

    Betty Shabazz, Malcolm X’s widow.
    Anna Murray Douglass, Frederick Douglass (who was mulatto) widow.
    Kadijah Farrakhan, Louis Farrakhan’s wife.

    Most importantly besides identifying victims of "DGC", what do you suggest should be done to solve this "problem"? Indeed, explain how a dark skinned black woman married to a light skinned black man is a problem?
     
  9. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Oh my god...
    I have heard and read some crazy **** in my life, but this is by far...the craziest. I mean, if you call (dark skin) 12:01 ...than just for the record, ..I'm 12:30. My husband is not light skinned, he's not dark, but not light either.
    My question to you is:
    "If a Black (dark) woman marry a light skin man, is it any way possible that she married him for love"?
    Are you aware that there are some "deep dark" sisters that won't look twice at a light skin man?

    I think/know my "blackness" is so wonderful to see and wear, that I dare not corrupt it with make-up ...and until this reading, I never heard of "DGC".
    ...sorry, I'm black, but I won't wear that hat (DGC) ...for it don't fit my head or complexion.

    bty ...welcome to our home...where you will find a ship load of "blacks" ...that's been kissed by the sun.
     
  10. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A lot of dark sisters will not wear the "hat" of DGC, and this includes the 30-40% that is believed to suffer from it! I do believe that we have some black people who have a problem (complex) about their skin color. This ranges from those who think dark blacks are inferior to those who believe light blacks are inferior. This way of thinking is a problem in our community, and it is necessary to get black people to appreciate all the hues which exist in black race (for the sake of unity & mental stability). However while it is important to get people to love the particular “hue” that they possess....we must convince black people to love their particular color (ebon night to mahogany brown to light caramel), without viewing the other existing colors within the black race as inferior. Any attempts to do otherwise, is detrimental to the stability of the black community!
     
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