Piggy Backing On the word....
and it is important to live true to one's word. Our word is our bond and our actions should be in agreement with what we've said. Even the Bible teaches that it is better not to make a vow, than to make one in vain and break it.
You have written on this topic before, and I have your work, in a more extensive dissertation, in my files. Now that this has come to my attention once again in this forum (I'm cruising for mental nourishment...finding it, too!), I will be going through the studies you've provided me with on the subjects of Polygamy, Monogamy, Polyandry ... and their place in our world, vs. "cheating". Many people (especially men), don't like to use that word; perhaps preferring some other euphemistic label. But in my estimation, if something is being done undercover, where all parties are not aware, that's plain and simple cheating. We have to be able to call it like it is, no matter what side of the coin we may find ourselves on, be it the "cheater" or the "cheatee".
Michael Baisden, a brotha, wrote a book entitled "Never Satisfied: How and Why Men Cheat". I've read it and recommended it to everyone. It is from a survey of men AND women, and how many factors play into this thing called "cheating"...on many levels, i.e. engaged folks, boyfriend/girlfriend, live-in lovers... marrieds...etc. He received a lot of flack from brothas because it seemed he was giving up the brotha-hood secrets..selling the brothas out. But I believe the book is beneficial for people interested in learning some of the reasons why relationships get into stuck-modes, thus causing people to wander. Of course, there are those cases where some folks are just gonna be "out there", don't need no "reason". The author himself, is a recovering "cheater", and said the book was partly for healing himself. He has a daughter from a relationship that didn't work out; and he saw his former behavior as a detriment to positive role modeling and child rearing. What was his daughter learning from him, and her mother? I recommend people check it out and see what they think.
Ra, what you've brought here is very strong. Honor and integrity is what men and women should be about. No matter what the temptation or how alluring the attraction.
Now, with all the good words we've written... is just saying "no" all that's needed in order to stop the cheating heart? Can a person just do it on will power alone? Are there other, more intense, more spiritual, introspective things people need to do in order to "change" hurtful/harmful behaviors?
Come back Ra @ me, I know you will
Thank you
a