Amun-Ra : Dangerous Psychology When We Cheat!

Amun-Ra

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Feb 15, 2001
1,868
13
Dallas
Occupation
Sales Management
Men and women play a dangerous game when they decide to cheat. To many it is morally wrong, sexually dangerous and rarely brings about anything good. History is filled with the stories of love affairs gone wrong destroying individuals and families. On a larger scale, nations have been lost for the sake of romantic escapades.

Affairs are usually marked by selfishness and secrecy. These are two of the same things that also destroy relationships and social standing. In the darkness of secrecy, affairs tend to be exciting and filled with all the things that are missing from the mundane world. Moreover, the very idea of an affair provides that extra boost of adrenaline by being socially unacceptable making cheating a great game for risk takers.

Selfishness is readily apparent simply because the risk takers actually give serious thought to the consequences and decide to do it anyway. Then there is the real danger of sexually transmitted diseases such as Herpes, syphilis and AIDs of which the latter can be fatal. It is not a pleasant gift.

The moral issue is one that may or may not have an affect on either party depending upon each persons values, upbringing and formative training and even then none of these things are a sure way to keep it from happening. Often the risk factor cancels out common sense. This type of risk taker has already decided to take the risk for something they perceive as better or to fulfill a personal desire. If there are strong moral foundations in place, then either one or both are setting themselves up for a life time of soul torturing guilt until the truth is finally known in some form.

Though the secret may be kept, it is not a secret that fades away quietly and it will not fade until the issue has been dealt with in some fashion. At this point, the real risks that were once hidden or at least forgotten become readily apparent. This is the point where perform their bodily function or get off the pot. It usually comes in the form of some type of confession or disclosure either to the aggrieved party or to a close confidant or even clergy.

Sometimes the choice to decide that confession is good for the soul is forced by an outside party who is concerned for one of the individuals, or someone who likes to stir up trouble or believes that it should be brought to the light no matter who gets hurt.

Many times it is one of the individuals who is involved in the affair or has something to gain who brings the issue to the fore. Often this revelation may be the beginning of a new life or the destruction of an old one. From that moment forward things will never be the same even if true forgiveness is offered and accepted, of if the risk taking pair decide to stay together it is also a new beginning only now the risk is gone and reality moves into its place.

The history of love affairs that end on a good note are rare. Someone always ends up getting hurt in the end. In most cases, the cheaters lose first. There are not many cases where the lovers opt to be with each other. Usually one or the other backs out and returns to their spouse.

The prevailing thought for those who back out is a trust issue. They do not believe they can trust the other individual now that they have been forced to make a decision. At that point, the interloper loses out but that does not mean that it becomes any better for the party that backs out. They are not easily accepted back into loving and trusting arms. Once the decision to back out is made the thought of whether it was the right decision will always haunt the memory until time either erases it or forces a different decision regarding the same party.

The history of people who actually leave is not strong unless the decision to stay is worse than the decision to leave. In cases such as this, there is some history of these romances surviving although there is often guilt associated with cheating on even an unfit and undeserving spouse. Often this behavior is a form of self-preservation although society would hardly deem it so, but that is not the issue.

The issue is selfish conduct. It makes no difference of the circumstances; either party sees something they want and goes after it. There are different rationalizations but the most popular and misguided one is “this will only be a casual” romance. That may be the thought but the reality is much different. In reality, the most dangerous element of having an affair is the minds natural proclivity for making comparisons. In nature, the mind is constantly called upon to judge differences in color and size whenever we get dressed. When we drive our mind rapidly calculates the differences in speeds of approaching vehicles so we are not hit pulling into traffic. It tells us the difference between wine and vinegar, sugar and salt and people.

This is the worst by-product of an affair because the mind does not take into account all the variables; it only takes in the ones necessary to make a comparison at a particular point in time. Whether or not that comparison is fair or even true is of little matter.

Our minds tell us immediately the difference between two elements and it does the same with relationships. However, the reality reservoirs of the mind are left to the side when these types of comparisons are being made. Instead, the mind compares individuals out of context and often misleads our thoughts to a wrong conclusion. A man who has slept with more than one woman is bound to make comparisons but the comparisons cannot be fair. The very fact that they are no longer in the relationship forfeits any accurate comparison. The same is true for women.

People do some things well. Others often do it better. Some people even become experts at one thing or another. Yet, is it fair to dismiss someone because 10 percent of the things they do we consider to be wrong? Alternatively, is it more important to take into consideration the 90 percent of things they do right? More than likely, this perceived bad part is seen more acutely while the better self goes unnoticed and this type of thinking leads to making relationship bad decisions. Men do it. Women do it.

More than once comparative thoughts will slip into the consciousness. We convince ourselves that things are better with another person when in reality we have no basis for making that comparison in any accurate fashion. Of all the harm that comes from illicit affairs perhaps, constant comparison is the one thing that causes more problems and can eventually lead to more affairs as superficial dissatisfaction closes eyes to the reality of a solid relationship. A comparison in relationships is fool’s gold. It has little value and the effort to gather it far exceeds its worth.


:rolleyes:
 

$$RICH$$

Lyon King Admin.
STAFF
Mar 21, 2001
69,925
3,939
Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
Occupation
BUSINESS owner
DANGERRRRRR!! DANGERRRRR!!

MAN U GET MAD TURN YA HEAD AND BECOME SAD
CHEATING IS COMMON YET DANGER LAY WITHIN
SO MANY GO OUT THIS WAY TRYING TO PLAY AND LOSE
THE LOVE THE HEART THE TRUST AND EVEN SOME TIME
LIFE.........MAN ITS KNOWN TO BE A MYTH OF LOVE BUG
BUT TRUELY IT'S A SELF DESTRUCTION GAME THAT LEAVES
NO WINNERS JUST PAIN ....SO WHY DO WE DO THIS!??

IS IT A ACT OF SEXUALITY
OR JUST OUT OF LUST ??
 

Amun-Ra

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Feb 15, 2001
1,868
13
Dallas
Occupation
Sales Management
Perhaps it is both!

Sexuality and love have a common thread. Nevertheless, it is wise to distinguish between the two because when minds are changed at the last minute with no thought of consequences we are setting ourselves up for failure in a large way--cheating never ends right, it just ends and we have to deal with the aftermath--Ra
 

Amun-Ra

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Feb 15, 2001
1,868
13
Dallas
Occupation
Sales Management
This is a tough one

No one likes to admit it, but our own promiscuity can often have unintended effects such as the comparisons that I sopke of and knowing this it is easy to see how one would never be satisfied because we are always comparing what is now with what once was and in those cases rality always loses out to wishful thinking--Ra
 

Create an account or login to comment

You must be a member in order to leave a comment

Create account

Create an account on our community. It's easy!

Log in

Already have an account? Log in here.

Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
HODEE Black People : The government’s herd immunity plan is callous and dangerous Black People Open Forum 0
Al D South Africa : Cape Town has Become One of the World’s Most Dangerous Cities South Africa 92
Ndugu Science and Technology : Yes the new 5G technology , mos def will be dangerous !! Science and Technology 1
Perfection Black People Politics : In Context Series: Dangerous Bodies: Women's Nakedness and Theology Black People Politics 0
Perfection Black People Politics : Tariq Nasheed's "Negro bed wench" language is dangerous against Black Women Black People Politics 0
HODEE Black People Politics : A New Book with perspectives on: The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump Black People Politics 0
S Black People : Horsemen of the Trumpocalypse: The Most Dangerous People in America Black People Open Forum 0
Liberty Black Men : YBW: Zoe Saldana, Charlize Theron's Dangerous Emasculation of Black Boys Black Men 6
Clyde C Coger Jr Black People : Police departments are furious at Walmart for a policy that has made it a dangerous place to shop Black People Open Forum 15
Queenie Law Forum : Black Police Officers--Dangerous? Law Forum - Prisons - Gun Ownership 6
Clyde C Coger Jr African American History Culture : 'Walking while black' can be dangerous too, study finds African American History Culture 0
Clyde C Coger Jr Black People : 10 Most Dangerous Cities In Texas Black People Open Forum 0
Clyde C Coger Jr Black People : The 10 Most Dangerous Cities in America Black People Open Forum 0
Clyde C Coger Jr Health and Wellness : 7 Healthy Foods That Are Dangerous If You Eat Too Much of Them Black Health and Wellness 0
Clyde C Coger Jr Black People : The most dangerous states in America Black People Open Forum 32
river Black People : Computers, Information Overload and Multitaking: A Dangerous Mix Black People Open Forum 0
MsInterpret Audio Video Web Conferencing : Busta Rhymes - Dangerous (1997) Audio Video Web Conferencing 0
Kemetstry Black Parenting : Outdated Sex Ed Dangerous to Kids! Black Parenting 60
howardtsu Black Poetry : Charmed and Dangerous Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On! 0
Keita Kenyatta Black People : Wait... what? How Dangerous Is Marijuana Again? Black People Open Forum 2
Kemetstry Black People : Alcohol More Dangerous Than the Opiates Black People Open Forum 15
Chief Elder Osiris Chief Elder Osiris : Vain Ego Tripping Is A Dangerous Weapon In The Act Of Shielding The Evil Of Envy And Chief Elder Osiris 1
Kemetstry Pot Belly can Be Dangerous Black Health and Wellness 5
nevar Black People : Dangerous territory....second part Black People Open Forum 1
nevar Black People : Dangerous territory.... Black People Open Forum 1
S Black People : The Most Dangerous Enemies - Black Police Officers Black People Open Forum 41
WARRIOR Black People : DANGEROUS DEMOGRAPHICS ??....TO WHOM ? Black People Open Forum 14
S Black Poetry : Dangerous Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On! 15
SpiritualONE Black People : Dangerous Experiments on Humans Black People Open Forum 5
PoeticManifesta Black People : Warning!! For the holidays.. Pyrex is dangerous! Black People Open Forum 1
soulful2006 Black Poetry : Dangerous MInd Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On! 7
howardtsu Black Poetry : Dangerous Liasons Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On! 4
river Is Static Electricity Dangerous? Black Health and Wellness 5
Isaiah Black People : MOST DANGEROUS CITIES IN AMERICA, 2005 Black People Open Forum 70
$$RICH$$ Quiet Poetry Lounge : DANGEROUS MIND Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On! 16
A Black Poetry : Comparisons Are Inevitable—And Dangerous Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On! 4
F Black People : The most dangerous racist Black People Open Forum 2
kente417mojo Black Poetry : Our Dangerous Minds Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On! 8
A Black Poetry : Dangerous Love Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On! 15
D Black People : Is A Rose Meant to be Beautiful or Dangerous because of it's Thorns? Black People Open Forum 5
Bishop Black Poetry : The Most Dangerous Prey Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On! 4
M Black Poetry : You are dangerous to me.... Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On! 5
shaka64 Black Education / Schools : Akbar Papers In African Psychology Black Education / Schools 0
S Black Education / Schools : PSYC 110: Introduction to Psychology, Open Yale Course Black Education / Schools 1
Chief Elder Osiris Chief Elder Osiris : Mind Psychology And The Power Of Then And Now Chief Elder Osiris 5
AACOOLDRE Brother AACOOLDRE : THE PSYCHOLOGY OF BLACK & WHITE AACOOLDRE 0
Knowledge Seed Black People : Street Psychology: A Simple System for Improving Relationships in Everyday Life Black People Open Forum 2
A Black Astrology : Your Childs Health and Psychology through Astrology Black Astrology 36
I Black Children : Psychology: Intelligence and IQ Testing Black Children 1
W Black People : Psychology of us.... Black People Open Forum 3
Similar threads


















































Destee Chat

Latest profile posts

Ms Drea wrote on I_AM_HER's profile.
Welcome To Destee!! Love and Blessings!!
Sup, Fam. Peace.
Destee wrote on Ms Drea's profile.
Sister ... please forgive me, I just been so krazee lately ... I love you ... :love:
Destee wrote on Titoub's profile.
Hi My Friend! How are you? Welcome Home! :wave:
Destee wrote on Monetary's profile.
Hey Money - where ya been? Tell us everything ... :beer:
Top