Black Poetry : D8 4 1

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Chastity, Oct 25, 2004.

  1. Chastity

    Chastity Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is the first poem in a long time that I wrote in which i stuck to a structured rhyming scheme, well sort of.

    The sounds of clanging cutlery,
    Tables set for two,
    But I expected to dine by myself,
    Because the missing link was a ‘you’

    Surround sounds fill my ear,
    Darkness all but the movie’s light,
    I notice couples seated everywhere,
    And next to me, there’s no one in sight.

    Night sea breeze in my face,
    Feet sinking in soft sand,
    Missing an arm around my waist,
    And the figure of a man.

    Ending of the night,
    Just in time as I looked at my wrist.
    I thought my emotions would have me feeling amiss,
    But I actually feel alright,
    As the air brushes my face and gives me,
    A good night kiss.
     
  2. Bluewater

    Bluewater Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    *smiling*
    yes you are ringing a beat
    in motion
    Yes
    i enjoyed it all
    oh just loving this here peace
    so niceeeee so sweettt
    yeah this is alright :)

    Blue:heart:
     
  3. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I know this feeling of loneliness, and you scribed it well. But the way you ended this, enjoying your own company, which is precious, I could appreciate that. I enjoyed this write, and the rhythm of it as well.
     
  4. j holla

    j holla New Member MEMBER

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    you don't need anyone to make you happy...I know that sounds like some Waiting to Exhale type stuff, but it's the truth that we end up figuring out the hard way most of the time....it seems you have realized it and have decided to move on. the rhyme scheme was oldschool and straight forward styled as well, which i appreciate. thanks for sharing your piece...
     
  5. gempis

    gempis Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    this is so tight, Chastity. and I hear where ya comin from
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    awesome sweet scribe love the flava of it
     
  7. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree with Bluewater
    very nice and smooth vibe
    enjoyed this ... thanks for sharing

    Peace
    Angel
     
  8. Chastity

    Chastity Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hey thanks to all family......Yes I am going through that stage of my life now....but the way I see it is: Until things change I'm still going to have live like this...so the best thing to do is accept it and learn to live it. and the first step was to go on my D8 4 1
     
  9. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I see why u the poet of the week in shine !