Black People : Cycle of Hate

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by jgyknowledge, Dec 29, 2006.

  1. jgyknowledge

    jgyknowledge Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The cycle of hate continues.......

    It seems as if we're intent on tearing each other to shreads, intent on wounding each other to the point where we both die. I'm talking about Black men and Black women. It seems that certain women have an agenda to tear down Black men at all costs, and some men may be guilty of the same thing. Its past sickening that we're all arguing about the color of our damned skin, when we're all considered Black. What's the point? You still a *****!

    A certain women keeps providing some stats, and a lot of bias towards black men. What's your point? I can sit here and tell you about my experiences being a dark-skinned Black man in America.....Such as.....when I was younger I was routinely shunned by girls/young women because my skin was too dark. As a kid made fun of because my skin was too dark.....Those are just a few examples....I could go on and on, but that won't accomplish anything. Dark men just came into "style", not too long ago, so we're just a fad anyway. The problem is both men and women do this, and its painful for both sexes.

    We even have problems when we do get married. How many light/dark marriages are there? Why do our unions follow this pattern?
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother jgyknowledge ... i guess "hate" could be used to describe these discussions, but i don't think that is what we're witnessing here.

    We have to be able to discuss the things that affect us daily, and no matter how difficult it may be to address these issues, how sad it is that this exists ... COLORISM ... is very much alive and real. It exists. We do it to each other, just as others have and do it to us. If we can't talk about it, how will we ever overcome it?

    How can we learn how to communicate with each other, in the best of manners, if we stifle that communication process?

    I appreciate Sister Riada's post, that included stats, which we often ask for after someone has said something, and not included supporting information. She did communicate in the best of manners. While she may have her own opinion regarding that topic, she also included supporting information ... that's good communicating! Let's not discourage one another from doing this in the best of manners ... as she did.

    We all have personal stories, but can we all present information / stats that support those personal experiences? If so, it strengthens one's argument. That is a good thing. I don't understand why so many are upset that she presented stats. It's what we often ask for.

    Is it that she's presented stats on a topic that is painful to us?

    Has she presented stats that make us look at an area of our collective selves, that we don't wanna see?

    We've gotta be able to open our eyes and look ... no matter how painful it might be.

    If it's not true ... then say that ... and present your supporting evidence.

    This is just good communicating ... something we've been denied way too long.

    I think it's all good in da hood ... let the communication flow! :love:

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. robboy2003

    robboy2003 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A great deal of marriages and ,or long term relationships are partly built on control and the known.

    Personally, i had to come to terms with the control issue in mine. I had to learn the value of compromise;for me it simplified things.

    The known issue could be about skin color and the degree of hue,where it concerns blacks. Many folks marry,or date exclusively with like looking people,when it contains to skin coloring.

    Preferences play into this for various reasons. Some flip the script and are dang happy about it light skin woman dark skin man and vice versa.

    That is a choice,but do love the rest of the family,because would you love your children any less,if one was light and the other dark.

    If your answer is yes,than your emotional problems are to such an extend you need Jesus and no civil discussion of this is required.

    Peace!
     
  4. jgyknowledge

    jgyknowledge Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You're right she has presented things in a logical fashion. I think that's a good thing, because communication is the key. Soo, don't think I'm ever trying to dissuade someone from presenting their argument.

    But in a lot of her posts it seems as if there is hurt, caused by racial colorism inflicted by us and the whites. Its as if she wants Black men to just go ahead and admit to wanting and prefering white women or anything besides black. When over 90% have married Black women. My point being we can go on and on.......like how Black women purposely have babies by lighter men to ensure their babies have 'good hair'. How about how a lot of these men not only get their bias from society, other ignorant men, but most importantly from their mothers. But, that's just more digging and doesn't do any good for anybody. And actually, I don't think anyone is denying her facts. We may not accept all of them, but not denying them. But why focus on those men? Just like I won't focus on the Black women that have color issues.

    I guess, I'm just fed up with the men and women creating an atmosphere of finger pointing.

    .....sorry for the rambling, hope this makes sense.
     
  5. robboy2003

    robboy2003 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Love you too Destee,and i have mad luv for every intelligent young sister here,who can articulate her feelings here.

    Sometimes, when a position is argued,it feels like maybe some sisters,and i don't think this case is one of them.It feels like a dismissal. I hate being dissed by my Queens as much as the next guy.

    Color issues are hurtful,and you have folks here with varying degrees of pro/blackness. Is that an issue into itself?

    Assuming we can't be racist to one another. We sure can be bias or color struck,and happens between us here,and between us and our brethren in Africa and the world!

    I love all my peeps from the darkest skin to the lightest. I wish we sateollite countries besides Africa were we could heal and grow more in love with each other as a race. I'm ranting Bid you Peace and Be Blessed!
     
  6. jgyknowledge

    jgyknowledge Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Are you suggesting that I have emotional problems? If so, then you've completely mis-understood what I was trying to say.
     
  7. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother ... i understand what you're saying ... and getting to that place, where one focuses on the positive vs the negative is a journey that takes place inside of us individually and then manifests itself collectively.

    When one, two or ten thousand of us begin to to do that, then we will get to the point that we see a majority of discussions focused on our positives ... but until then ... we've got to deal with what we have.

    We have lots of discussions here, that stimulate joy, pleasure, pain, tears, all of that ... you are here right now, focusing on the more painful discussions ... but there are a whole bunch of other ones that you could have focused on. It's okay though. You're free to focus on the ones you'd like. You're free to discuss the ones that move you the most. Obviously, right now, at this moment, it was her thread ... which you consider negative ... that you posted about ... which in essence, means you too are focusing on the negative. Again, that is so okay with me! :)

    It has to happen. We can't skip any steps. We've got to go through it all, and this is part of it.

    I've started lots of threads that could easily be considered "me focusing on our negative" ... but i felt that it had to be tabled ... had to be discussed ... had to be looked at. Of course i've started lots too, that could be considered "feel good" threads. Probably most Members have done the same.

    We all have that option here. We are all free to present whatever topics we want, if done so respectfully and such.

    I think it's all about communicating and being able to process the results of these communications in the best of manners, inside our own selves ... depending greatly on where each of us are in our own personal journey.

    Thank You Brother jgyknowledge ... for starting this thread and sharing with us! :love:

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  8. robboy2003

    robboy2003 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I most certainly was not! I don't think you would answer yes to that question,so no there isn't a problem,that I ever have had with you.

    Peace!
     
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