Black People : Cut and Paste

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Compassion, Jan 26, 2004.

  1. Compassion

    Compassion Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It all started when I lived in Philly- I meet a really nice guy a coworker. When I would venture to his side of the world for work related things he would always seem to know that I was in the building and we would have casual talks. These talks became more frequent and we exchanged personal information and took it outside the campus.

    To me he had a quite presents. One could even say shy- but not weak.

    During these talks we would discuss our passions and what was on the menu for that day. If anyone speaks to me for more than 5 minutes they know that I love- literary journeys- spoken word. …That’s when it started; he would send me a sonnets, short stories and poems… I began to look forward to receiving those morsels of powerfully written, sometimes erotic trips – is what I call it- I almost go in a trance by a good read. ANY way, I digress.

    Life happened and I quickly up rooted my self and family and moved to ATL, and after a month I received a email from him asking was this me… well we picked up were we left off, but it went deeper than that.. we began to “learn” each other- long story short we decided we would make a go of it and I would return to my second home Philly.Hot and Cold On and Off- we ended it, then he would write me and ask me why like he had no role in it.. well any way as I ramble on… the point is.

    I happened to be looking for some short stories and stuff on line and I ran across a site that was like “WHOA” and as I started to read, things started to sound strangely familiar.. and like a flash and pain… There they were one after the other all those beautiful stories all the reason why I had started to value him – so eloquent in his approach to courting me... Scribe after scribe – HE lied- HE simply cut and paste.

    I sent him the website- he has not responded to my “OUT the BAG” email.

    Confused it what I am, should I be flattered that he went to such great lengths to impress me? But he lied and I just don’t do well with that. What are your thoughts?

    How / Should I remain his friend?
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Compassion ... Hello and Welcome! Am i reading this properly? Are you saying you met someone and they shared beautiful words with you, and then you come here and find those words belong to Family Members here? Do i have it right so far?

    Oh My Gosh. Okay.

    And if i have it right. You are asking what?! ... "How / Should you remain his friend?"

    Again, if i've understood properly - which is mind boggling to me ... the fact that you'd join here and actually find the words! Oh My Gosh! Anyway ... how can you consider any part of your interaction with this thief and liar "friendship?"

    The fact that you are asking the above question, after knowing what you know, leads me to ask ... how do you define "friend?" Based on your definition, if it includes liars, thieves, and those who intentionally deceive and manipulate you, then sure, why not embrace him?

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. Compassion

    Compassion Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Your assessments are completely right. One day I felt like I needed to spread my wings and get some new sites on my favorites and I ran across this site a "Bonanza of the GOOD", to your and the others credit. Well, click after click- I found a comfortable place to read and YES, to my sadness there it all was - He was exposed.
    Just to name a few he sent me," I would and I will" and "Come take a ride with me". I know there must be a thin line between being a fool and a God fearing women how recognizing that we are all human and make mistakes. I'd like to think that I am God fearing, and wanted to make sure I was right in my thoughts, that why I sent the email to see if he wanted to come clean...I'm sure that our friendship is over, as he has not responding to my, "OUT the Bag" email". AND to think that had I not come here… I would have NEVER know. Shame on IT!
    The Good: Is that I've found a new place to call home.




     
  4. Compassion

    Compassion Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you again and I look forward to receiving and sharing. You're so right, and I know this.
     
  5. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Hey Sister Compassion! You're very welcome. :)

    Sister, i noticed something you said in your response above, that kinda concerns me. It was this ... I'm sure that our friendship is over, as he has not responding to my, "OUT the Bag" email" ... it seems your surety that the friendship is over, is based on his actions (or lack thereof) and not your own decision making ability. The comment almost implies, that if he responds the friendship may remain intact.

    I'm not trying to suggest if you should allow him or anyone to be your friend. I just want you to recognize how much power and control you have over your own life and if he never responds, or if he does respond, or no matter what he does ... your life decisions should not be based on what someone else does or does not do.

    I hope this makes some sense.

    Much Love and Peace Sister.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  6. Compassion

    Compassion Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Your correct I should have worded it differently, what I know is the "friendship a.k.a. LIE" is over. I wanted to at least hear him out - explain why he felt he needed to steal and lie to impress me.


    SO much love and Blessings are yours!
     
  7. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I don't mean to come onto this post as a quote...and I truly understand that this man may have caused you pain. But in some ways if he read something that reminded him of how he felt about you and sent it to you, is that really WRONG? There are pre-written Hallmark cards, or other meaningful cards that can be purchased to convey how we feel when we just can't put the words together in the right way. If you got those words in cards would it have still bothered you just the same, knowing he didn't author them?

    Again, I know in the end he hurt you, but I just wanted to ask that question.

    In Peace....

    CM.
     
  8. Compassion

    Compassion Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you for your responce that's why I put it out there to get views because I was torned between feelings of saddness or betrayal or impressed. The thing of it is, after I sat with myself and went back over all things hes sent and and said... Its the betrayal.

    Out of admiration, I've asked him serval times after receiving a peice- "were in you does these things come" or "Babe, you are the Man... PLeeeeeeeeease let me submit some of your stuff- you should be published" or "its just not fair that you don't share this with the world" - He never told the thruth.

    For me its ALL about the deceptive - If he would have said Babe, I read this and this is how I feel or what ever would have been fine- He, lied and lied again.

    I undersand were you are coming from and I really wish that, that was the page he was on ... but he HoodWinked me.


    Lots of love to you!
     
  9. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Sister Compassion ... did we talk in the chat room a couple/few months ago?

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  10. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Compassion,
    Point taken!!
     
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